Correction

[steph_333]

Could someone please correct those two articles. My younger sister wrote them, and she's got a test this week...
TIA

1. Environment
It's one of the most current topics today. Environment! But it has got a bad aftertaste. A lot of people harm the environment extremely. I don't think it is difficlut to improve the environment. Everyone could help to save our planet. How?
For example with saving energie. I don't think it is difficult to switch off the light when you leave the room. I also think people shouldn't drive short distances with their cars. Another easy way to improve the environment is recycling. If we would recycle old newspapers, used plastc and used aluminium we would help to improve the environment a lot. I also think we should do without atomic energie. It is too dangerous, we only have to remember what happened in chernobyl. We could win energie from water. More water plants should be built. Another environmental problem is that to many trees are cut down. Cutting down trees, like in Brazil, will harm many aspects of the environment. Habitats for people and animals will be destroyed. To put it in a nutshell, we are able to improve the environment bet i think most of us are too lazy.

2. MEDIA
There are different types of media. For example the television. Everyone has got at least one television hat home. I think it's the best way to inform people. TV offers many types of entertainment: News, movies, soap operas, programme for kids....
Newspapers too. There are so many newspapers today. But I think there are a lot of negative facts too.
Many teenagers become unsocial. I know some people who sit in front of the computer nearly the whole day. But I think if people use the media carefully they would profit with a lot of improvement/progress.
Another important media is advertising. Today you can find advertisting nearly everywhere. In the internet, at streets, on newspapers, on cars....
I don't think it's a bad thing because it's good for our economy.

[apex2000]

Why should anyone but her teachers correct her test?

[Anglika]

Originally Posted by steph_333

Could someone please correct those two articles. My younger sister wrote them, and she's got a test this week...
TIA

1. Environment
It's one of the most current topics today. Environment! But it has got a bad aftertaste. A lot of people harm the environment extremely. I don't think it is difficlut to improve the environment. Everyone could help to save our planet. How?
For example with saving energie. I don't think it is difficult to switch off the light when you leave the room. I also think people shouldn't drive short distances with their cars. Another easy way to improve the environment is recycling. If we would recycle old newspapers, used plastc and used aluminium we would help to improve the environment a lot. I also think we should do without atomic energie. It is too dangerous, we only have to remember what happened in chernobyl. We could win energie from water. More water plants should be built. Another environmental problem is that to many trees are cut down. Cutting down trees, like in Brazil, will harm many aspects of the environment. Habitats for people and animals will be destroyed. To put it in a nutshell, we are able to improve the environment bet i think most of us are too lazy.

2. MEDIA
There are different types of media. For example the television. Everyone has got at least one television hat home. I think it's the best way to inform people. TV offers many types of entertainment: News, movies, soap operas, programme for kids....
Newspapers too. There are so many newspapers today. But I think there are a lot of negative facts too.
Many teenagers become unsocial. I know some people who sit in front of the computer nearly the whole day. But I think if people use the media carefully they would profit with a lot of improvement/progress.
Another important media is advertising. Today you can find advertisting nearly everywhere. On the internet, in streets, in newspapers, on cars....
I don't think it's a bad thing because it's good for our economy.

The second one is too unfocused. She needs to make it more logical. What is "media"? What does it consist of? What are its benefits? What are its disadvantages?

[apex2000]

The highlighted in red items are incomplete and with no explanation. For example 'energie' should be spelt 'energy', and 'bet i' should be 'but I' and 'to' should be 'too'.
All the underlined items are misspelt.
There are other parts where the words used are not incorrect but the sentence could be better worded. For other students reading this example be aware that the corrections are incomplete.

[steph_333]

Could someone please correct them? The more corrections I get, the better. (Doesn't even matter if teacher or not)
Why anyone but her teacher should correct that?? To have less mistakes....

[Anglika]

Originally Posted by steph_333

Could someone please correct them? The more corrections I get, the better. (Doesn't even matter if teacher or not)
Why anyone but her teacher should correct that?? To have less mistakes....

Sorry - we will advise and point out where improvements could be made, but she must do the checking and correcting for herself.

It is really important that she learns by her own mistakes. If she constantly turns in work to her teacher that is essentially written by others, then she is both cheating and failing to learn.

[Anglika]

Originally Posted by apex2000

The highlighted in red items are incomplete and with no explanation. For example 'energie' should be spelt 'energy', and 'bet i' should be 'but I' and 'to' should be 'too'.
All the underlined items are misspelt.
There are other parts where the words used are not incorrect but the sentence could be better worded. For other students reading this example be aware that the corrections are incomplete.

Thank you for this so helpful comment. It is to be hoped that a student seeing something highlighted will do some checking for him or her self.

[steph_333]

What about word-order???? Could you at least tell me about that?
Just a little help with the context, please

[Mohammed Abu Risha]

May I suggest the following:

1. Environment
Environment is one of the most current topics today. It has got a bad aftertaste. A lot of people are doing a lot of harm to the environment. I don't think it is difficlut to improve the environment. Everyone could help to save our planet. Saving energy is one way for doing that. I don't think it is difficult to switch off the light when you leave the room. I also think people shouldn't drive short distances with their cars. Another easy way to improve the environment is recycling. If we recycle old newspapers, used plastic cans and used aluminum, we would help to improve the environment a lot. I also think we should do without atomic energy. It is too dangerous. We only have to remember the catastrophe that happened in Chernobyl. We can get energy in such a clean way as from water. More water plants should be installed. Another environmental problem is that many trees are cut down. Cutting down trees, like in Brazil, will harm many aspects of the environment. Habitats for people and animals will be destroyed. To put it in a nutshell, we are able to improve the environment bet I think most of us are too lazy to do that.

[apex2000]

Originally Posted by Anglika

Thank you for this so helpful comment. It is to be hoped that a student seeing something highlighted will do some checking for him or her self.

Yes, I agree and my first post takes that further. However it was other students reading the post that concerned me. Once we started to provide answers I thought they should be understood by all. Perhaps I am wrong so do post to my inbox.