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Old 15-Apr-2008, 20:56
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Default The Resurrection, Part one

Dear people
Please, would you proofread this text:

He was back again. After many centuries and thousands of years he was breathing the fresh air again. He could hear the birds chirping in the trees and fill his lungs with the smell of freshly brewed coffee wafting from somewhere. The feeling of deep happiness filled his heart. When he opened his eyes for the first time he noticed a white metal plate which read that the cost for a guided tour around for a group of visitors is 300 crowns. It reminded him he was completely penniless. He was dressed in a dark blue cap, blue jeans and the red and white chequered shirt. He wore the white Adidas shoes. He had chosen this kind of clothes intentionally. He could have worn expensive clothes covered in gold in diamonds, but it was not his style. He was a simple person, a man of the people and he wanted to continue that way.

He opened the massive door and found himself inside a dark porch. Immediately his eyes fell on a strange machine with light blue display. There was a text saying it accepted all kind of credit cards. He understood the machine was a modern offertory bag. Unfortunately, he did not have a credit card either. He passed the stall where they were selling pictures of him. They cost between 10 to 20 crowns. He did not love them. The portraits he saw reminded him more of Osama Bin Laden then himself.

When he entered the huge space of the nave what impressed him was not its beauty and magnificence but another plate which read that candles cost 5 crowns. He tried to count how much it was in Euro but failed. It was early in the morning and there was still too early for the tourist as well as for the believers. He made a few steps not bothering to look at the stained glass windows and their masterly made decorations, neither did he give a glance at numerous sculptures. A few meters away he saw a brother human being and that made his heart leap with joy. It was a black person using a dustpan and a brush to collect bread crumbs a hungry tourist had left behind. "Good morning," he said stretching out his hand. "Good morning," answered the black man. They shook hands and he said, "My name is Jesus. I have returned just now and I would like to speak to the dean. Do you know where I can find him?" The black man gazed at him with his sad eyes and said, "My name is Mohammed. I work as a cleaner and I do not know where you could find him. The best is to ask at the information desk."

Jesus felt something was wrong with his brother Mohammed. There was no joy in his eyes. Not a hope of a new life. However, what he did not know was the fact that Mohammed was born in Nigeria and had a PhD in history but never was called in for a single interview and after more then 14 years in Sweden this was his first real job. He would probably die without ever working at all if Swedish government had not been criticised severely by the EU who admonished the Swedes for treating immigrants like animals in ZOO, showing them for the media and tourists but never giving them a chance. Therefore, when he saw Jesus he believed he had came to apply for his job. As a Muslim his chances were slim comparing to someone called Jesus.

The woman at the information desk said to Jesus the dean was due to come shortly. He had already made an appointment with a photograph who should take picture of him inside the cathedral. If he was bored waiting there is the visitor centre where he can buy coffee. It cost 25 crowns. Jesus thought it was overpriced. So much money for a cup of a Swedish tasteless warm water!

To be continued...

Last edited by Bassim : 15-Apr-2008 at 21:36.
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Old 16-Apr-2008, 00:50
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Default Re: The Resurrection, Part one

The Resurrection, Part one


He was back, after many centuries and thousands of years, he was breathing the fresh air again. He could hear the birds chirping in the trees and fill his lungs with the smell of freshly brewed coffee wafting in from somewhere. The feeling of deep happiness filled his heart. When he opened his eyes for the first time he noticed a white metal plate which read that the cost of a guided tour for a group of visitors was 300 crowns. It reminded him that he was completely penniless. He was dressed in a dark blue cap, blue jeans and a red and white chequered shirt. He wore white Adidas shoes. He had chosen this kind of clothing intentionally. He could have worn expensive clothes covered in gold and diamonds, but it was not his style. He was a simple person, a man of the people and he wanted to continue that way.

He opened the massive door and found himself inside a dark porch, immediately his eyes fell on a strange machine with a blue light display. There was a text saying it accepted all kinds of credit cards, he understood the machine was a modern offertory bag. Unfortunately, he did not have a credit card either. He passed the stall where they were selling pictures of him, these cost between 10 to 20 crowns. He did not like them. The portraits he saw reminded him more of Osama Bin Laden than of himself.

When he entered the huge space of the nave what impressed him was not its beauty and magnificence but another plate which read that candles cost 5 crowns. He tried to count how much it was in Euros but failed. It was early in the morning and it was still too early for the tourists as well as for the believers. He took a few steps not bothering to look at the stained glass windows and their masterly crafted decorations; neither did he give a glance at the numerous sculptures. At a shortdistance he saw a brother human being and that made his heart leap with joy. He was a black person/man using a dustpan and a brush to collect breadcrumbs that a hungry tourist had left behind. "Good morning," he said stretching out his hand. "Good morning," answered the black man. They shook hands and he said, "My name is Jesus. I have returned just now and I would like to speak to the Dean, do you know where I might find him?" The black man gazed at him with his sad eyes and said, "My name is Mohammed, I work as a cleaner and I do not know where he is. The best thing is to ask at the information desk."

Jesus felt something was wrong with his brother Mohammed. There was no joy in his eyes, with no hope for a new life. However, what he did not know[?really, doesn’t He know and see everything] was the fact that Mohammed was born in Nigeria and although he had a PhD in history he had never been called in for a single interview, and after more then 14 years in Sweden this was his first real job. He would probably have diedhere without ever working at all if the Swedish Government had not been criticised severely by the E.U., who admonished the Swedes for treating immigrants like animals in a zoo, showing them off for the media and tourists, but never giving them a chance. Therefore, when he saw Jesus he believed that he had come to apply for his job. As a Muslim his chances were slim compared to someone called Jesus.

The woman at the information desk said to Jesus the Dean was due shortly. He had already made an appointment with a photographer who should take some pictures of him inside the cathedral. If he was bored of waiting there was always the visitor centre where he could buy a coffee for 25 crowns. Jesus thought it overpriced. So much money for a cup of tasteless Swedish warm water!

To be continued...

Last edited by Svaneska : 18-Apr-2008 at 08:23.
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