My Statement Of Purpose

[mkmfAm]

Hello , please help me to improve my SOP .
The role:
Statement of purpose: the statement of purpose (1-2 pages) needs to describe your prior education and explain why you wish to study at the college, and your personal/professional goals"
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I was born in an educated Iranian family with high social values of diligent and responsibility in the face of adversity . My interest in computer back to my middle school days when I learnt M.S DOS for the first time . I grew to like the subject because of its logical and large number of demands for computer knowledge all over the world specially in Iran which is a developing country . After middle school , I was lead to start in my beloved field , Computer Software in high school .
Later in high school , I always had an excellent performance and was quite popular among my ‎ classmates because I was usually a volunteer to help other in studying .‎‎ I discovered my good skills in team working such as cooperation and responsibility there .‎‎In my country, educational programs are admitted based on students rank in ‎nation-wide entrance exams . This exam contains almost all of the materials in the field of study and some other courses which are general for all the students .
I took part in the undergraduate university entrance exam and I was elected in S-S university for associate degree which is one of the best university in the country . I pursue my education in S-S till end . I have been always a reputable student in both morality and studying . The title of my final project was " A Web Site For professors " . This web site is able to cover everything that professors expect to do in world wide web . This project showed my creativity and an innovative design in the practical situations . since , communicate between professors and students is a real concern for institutes specially when they are apart from each other . The project is still one of my honor because I utilized all the courses I had learned and mixed them together to create a successful web based program .
After 2 academic years , I got associate degree from the university and I start evaluating the other opportunity for continuing my education in . My career counselor advised me to star studying for the next entrance exam but I was looking for better educational systems . According to my research , in contrast to other countries , U.S. universities spend too much money on each student . Worldwide recognition of U.S. degrees and wide range of educational programs beside of valuable U.S. degrees for employers was high enough to convince me to star evaluating the required application for American's colleges . ‎‎
I think , M college is a suitable place for me to continue my studying And I expect you help ‎me to guide through the best position by considering my abilities and determining . I wish, by ‎studying and working hard, I could enhance my knowledge not only in my filed of studying ‎and educating , but also as a pace of reform to an ideal world and better life for every one and also Iranian . And your college ‎can help me to reach my long term goal .

Hopefully , after leaving the college , I would start considering a well-known university in‎California and willing to enter there . I Also need to cooperate with a career counselor in the ‎department who can aid me to find an appropriate university in the region . However , I have decided to pursue my education in one of the best American universities, I am ‎highly ambitious for start studying in UCLA which I was imagine all the time . I intend to follow this up with a Ph.D., and later, a career in research and teaching. ‏
As my previous experience shows, I was always an active person in several communities , ‎from schools and students group till different people with variety of points of views who are ‎living in our society , I think I can be a successful and responsible college student in that ‎department. ‎I wish , I can solve part of problems of the world that ‎comes from irrational decision makings and incorrect management, specially the problems that ‎have been existing in my country from lack of good management and coordination . ‎I hope to continue in this manner of selfless act and ‎commit my life to help others and help to improve society's level of understanding and volunteer for dedication to a just cause .
I believe that with my keen interest in computer science and my ability and willingness to work hard , I am suited ‎to be accepted in computer department . Furthermore, I am confident that I have typical characteristics and skills to be ‎able to live up to the high standards of your department. Thank you for your time and considering my applications .

"
many thanks
Ali

[Soup]

I was born in an educated, Iranian family with high social values of diligence and responsibility in the face of adversity. My interest in computers goes back to my middle school days when I learnt MS DOS for the first time. I grew to like the subject because of its logic and the great demands for computer knowledge all over the world, especially in developing countries such as Iran. After middle school, I started in my beloved field, Computer Software in high school.

In high school, I was an excellent student and was quite popular among my classmates as I usually volunteered to help my classmates with their studies.‎‎ I discovered I had good teamwork skills such as cooperation and the ability to take on responsibilty. ‎‎

In my country, admittance to educational programs are based on how students rank in ‎nation-wide entrance exams. These exams contain almost all of the materials in the field of study, and some other courses which are general for all the students.

I took part in the undergraduate university entrance exam and was accepted to S-S University for an associate degree, which is one of the best universities in the country. I have always been a diligent student in both morality and study. The title of my final project was "A Website For Professors." The website I designed is able to cover everything that professors expect to do in the World Wide Web, which is an innovative design in for practical situations. Prior to my creating the website, communication between professors and students was a real concern for institutes, especially for distance learning courses. The project is one of my greatest achievements. I utilized all the course material I had learned and mixed them together to create a successful web based program.

After my second academic year, I gratuated with an associate degree from the University and started looking into post-graduate courses. My career counselor advised me to start studying for the next entrance exam but I was looking for better educational systems. According to my research, in contrast to other countries, U.S. universities spend too much money on each student. Worldwide recognition of U.S. degrees and the wide range of U.S. educational programs was enough to convince me to look into the requirements to attend American colleges. ‎‎
I think M college is a suitable place for me to continue my studies, and I look to you for guidance in helping ‎me find the best, suitable position by considering my abilities and determination. By ‎studying and working hard, I hope to enhance my knowledge not only in my field of study, but also as a step towards an ideal world and a better life for everyone. Your college ‎can help me reach my long term goal.

Hopefully, after graduating college, I would like to enroll in a well-known university in ‎California. I also need to cooperate with a career counselor in the ‎department who can help me find an appropriate university in the region. I have decided to further my education in one of the best American universities, UCLA, which I is a dream of mine. I intend to follow this up with a Ph.D., and later, a career in research and teaching. ‏
As my previous experience shows, I have always been an active person, ‎in school and in student group. I think I can be a successful and responsible college student, and I hope to solve part of problems of the world that ‎come from irrational decision making and incorrect management, especially the problems that ‎have been existing in my country from lack of good management and coordination. ‎I hope to continue in this manner of selfless acts and ‎commit my life to helping others to improve society's level of understanding by dedicating my life to a just cause.

I believe that with my keen interest in computer science and my ability and willingness to work hard, I am a suitable candidate for the Faculty of Computer Sciences. Furthermore, I am confident that I have typical characteristics and skills to be ‎able to live up to the high standards of your university. Thank you for your time and for considering my application.

Good luck to you, Ali.