http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/ Discussions about writing CVs, Resumes and cover letters, including applying for jobs and courses. en Sat, 25 May 2013 14:21:06 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/images/misc/rss.png http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/ http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/191298-please-help-me-make-motivation-letter-better-i-need-take-scholarship.html Fri, 24 May 2013 20:55:35 GMT Dear Madam/Sir A Arabic saying is “MEAT and mass never hindered man.”. As a person who is sensitive to food, I hold the belief that the quality and safety of food is what matters most for the whole society, and from because of this, I have dream to... Dear Madam/Sir
A Arabic saying is “MEAT and mass never hindered man.”. As a person who is sensitive to food, I hold the belief that the quality and safety of food is what matters most for the whole society, and from because of this, I have dream to pursue a career in studying Meat sciences and Technology. That is why I chose the major, food science and technology, for my Bachelor’s Degree in the best school of food sciences in Iran.
The United Kingdom is a developed country, and has one of the most advanced agricultural systems in the world. Whenever I think about the UK, there are always pictures of herds of cows, seas of flowers, and endless farmlands. It is a perfect place for living and studying. Also, there are qualified foods, happy and managed animals in the fair land, but what attracted me most is XXXXXX University, one of the most famous university in Europe in terms of Meat Science. It is an ideal place for me, a student from a developing country to fulfill my dream, not to mention that the program is just what I am looking for.
As I Known myself in the projects I did, I strongly can say I am able to work well either on a team or by myself. With a motivated, energetic and open-minded personality, and a thirst for knowledge, I think it will be easy for me to adapt to a new environment and face challenges. Besides, I will be honored if I could be a lecturer and also a great researcher someday, so studying in Europe will qualify me better for that. There are so many areas in which I still need to improve, and I believe that studying in your university will give me an excellent opportunity to maximize my ability.
In general, taking the account of the research facilities of the department and the active function of the university and the department in different fields; scientific fields especially, moreover the great passion and determination that I have about the task, I wholeheartedly believe that I would be of the best use for the university and the department, in particular.

Yours Faithfully ]]> CVs, Resumes and Applications smartjavad http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/191298-please-help-me-make-motivation-letter-better-i-need-take-scholarship.html http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/191293-emergency-please-help-me-make-my-sop-better-i-think-s-awful.html Fri, 24 May 2013 20:22:21 GMT “If you want something you would reach it, by trying”. It is an Iranian proverb that I have always believed in and kept it in my mind in all my endeavors. Now, I have decided to pursue my education in one of the best England universities,... “If you want something you would reach it, by trying”. It is an Iranian proverb that I have always believed in and kept it in my mind in all my endeavors. Now, I have decided to pursue my education in one of the best England universities, University of XXXXX. I am applying for admission to M.Sc. program of Meat Sciences and Technology since I want a career in the research and Learning of Food Science and experimental, theoretical and numerical analysis Food Processes.
My tendency toward Food Component and food processing inspired me to look for a career as an Food Scientist when I was a high school student. Through many deliberations with some university students, in food science and technology, about vast applications and features of this major I figured out that food science and technology would be the best major for me. So I selected it as my first choice in the universities entrance exam and achieved to enroll in this program at Shahid Beheshti University of Medical Sciences Which has a rich members of academicals board and also has a great correlation with National Nutrition Science and Food Technology Institute of Iran and is being financially and instrumentally supported by it.
I am not going to tell the story, I don’t know what is the best word to say my enthusiastic interest for researching, and how much I love food science, but how to catch up and my persistency to learn, has been known in our faculty as you can ask from my references. for the first experience I talked to all my professors in order to cooperate with them in different projects, but it was difficult for them to rely on a bachelor student who had just spent 3 semesters in university, firstly I was rejected by all of them. so I found a simple and attractive issue to do research about that I had found it just in the class, when we were being thought, ‘Investigation and Determination of physicochemical and nutritional properties of 5 mass productive species of rice in Iran’, what were differences between them, how their property would change after aging,… were my questions, and I supposed to answer myself. So I searched a lot and after studying many articles and investigating about the issue and learning how to write a proposal, I finally wrote it and it was accepted in student research committee, by difficulty I got laboratory just for a week and did all necessary examination. In this procedure 2 of my Professors and 1 PhD student joint me, it had been sweet attitude for all of us! We are writing the results as a article for sending to Journal of Cereal Science and we hope it be accepted because we all work hard. In this project I learn a lot about essential thing in research process such SPSS. It was a beginning for me and after seeing my hard working, I have been reliable student for my professors, they have trusted me and my acquired results in the procedures, so we have done several national projects together as you will read.
My first true introduction to Food Sciences area came in a extensive research offered by Dr. Sohrabvandi ; “ the way to the improvement of foods for the consuming public, make a better-quality food, life and eating more enjoyable with a base of healthy and innovation”. In addition the time limitation on this project taught me to plan well, work systematically and keep my reports up-to-date and organized. also to manipulate different apparatus, I did an exciting teamwork project. Living in the Laboratory of Institute, dividing task among four members, trying to have remarkable contribution to the project altogether with finishing the project in time with highest level of accuracy has made it a memorable event.
4 month research assistantship under supervision of Dr. Sohrabvandi provided me with the opportunity to become familiar with the way of doing an industrial and Scientific research project.

One of the amazing research I have done is about developing a new method for rapid extraction and determination of PAHs in edible oils, it was unbelievable to me ; by working with the only GC-mass we have in the PhD`s student Laboratory! We were a team that each one was responsible for certain parts. I was supposed to preparing samples, Standard graphs, injections, comparing results and reporting this data to my professor Dr.Mohammadi. We sheared our opinions about results, it sometimes was really amazing, we have obtained the best and also the most rapid method for extraction and detection of PAHs. It has been sent to an international Conference and we are waiting to their answer.
I believe that mentioned experiences have prepared me to come into master of meat science program. In addition, I think that I am academically able to continue my education at a large and prestigious University such as XXX University. I will receive my B.Sc. degree from Shahid Beheshti University of medical sciences, Faculty of food sciences and technology, the best food school in my country, with GPA is around of 17/20. I will be awarded my bachelor degree by June 2013.
I worked as a trainee in a companies for more than 500 hours, but I never could accustom myself to routine, boring, and without excitement and creativity atmosphere of that place. Imagining a career in such places after the graduation bothers me. I enjoy learning and obtaining new knowledge and don’t want to deprive myself of this potential pleasure by giving up my education. I think that if I don’t continue my education, I would have not completely utilized the talent that God has endowed me with. I like teaching as a part of my work as well as doing industrial and research projects in future. The master degree and after that Ph.D. degree would enable me to combine both these preferences.
At least, it is necessary to be said This being in lab, think of why something happened or not, try to do my best with the highest accuracy make me satisfied. ]]> CVs, Resumes and Applications smartjavad http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/191293-emergency-please-help-me-make-my-sop-better-i-think-s-awful.html http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/191201-need-help-my-statement-purpose-correction.html Thu, 23 May 2013 03:56:21 GMT *Statement of Purpose*By the time I knew I needed to pursue my career in a singular field I prioritized on my handiness and my competence to learn new things along with creatively motivating myself into its application, a major reason why I was mind... Statement of Purpose

By the time I knew I needed to pursue my career in a singular field I prioritized on my handiness and my competence to learn new things along with creatively motivating myself into its application, a major reason why I was mind set to be an engineer. In addition to that, after my intermediate in science with major biology and additional mathematics I wanted to ensure that I had chosen the suited subject before embarking on a definitive course that would shape my future. Then I was acquainted with Biomedical engineering, a unique mix of engineering, medicine and life sciences comparably new and fast growing field in today’s context and the application of which I found very interesting. During my undergraduate course, I gained a deep understanding of various fields of biomedical engineering and its implementation. Besides the curriculum, presentations and seminars in conjunction to interaction with intellect of the relevant field were perfect opportunity for me to enhance the knowledge in applied biomedical science even more. Furthermore my final year project titled “Designing of a Device Using Pulsed Electromagnetic Field for Fracture Healing” helped me with the realize the application of biomedical sciences for the betterment on the medical aspect of the society plus get well conversant with the implementing my theoretical knowledge into practice along with the use of research tool like tesla meter and bone densitometer.

Propelled by my interest in Biomedical engineering, I worked in Siddhi Memorial hospital and B.P. Koirala Memorial Cancer hospital for a year as a part of my practical exposure in various biomedical equipment’s. Working under the supervision of Mr. Prakash Pandey, the very first biomedical engineer of Nepal was a privilege. On top of it the day to day monitoring of equipment’s, actively participating in installation and demonstration of medical devices, discussion of problems, its detection and its solutions with the specialists, documentation of work and associated professional practices boosted my skills and effectiveness.

Biomedical engineering is relatively fresher discipline in my country and due to the absence of medical Industries and allied medical fields, biomedical engineers are subjected to nothing more than maintenance of medical devices. My undergraduate course though enabled me to grasp the fundamentals of Biomedical engineering, could not present enough opportunity in applying my knowledge to the real-world situations. And I wanted to heighten my team work and self-confidence that could be utilized toward problem solving and achieving a common goal. Further motivating myself towards understanding the roles of engineer, engineering principles, responsibility towards the society, communicating appropriately and management of an organization.


After countless hours searching for the relevant course in the internet finally I found the perfect match for my motivation. Program offered as Masters in engineering studies-Biomedical engineering and Masters in engineering- Biomedical engineering in University of Technology Sydney. Attending UTS would give me prospect of discerning and developing my interest within Biomedical engineering. I want to explore my domain of expertise to a Medical instrumentation, anatomy and physiology, medical device and imaging and so on. I believe obtaining a Master’s degree at UTS will provide necessary background for me to anticipate and react to ever-changing environments. I wish to delve deeper into the subject and further carry out my understanding in the field and to follow it up with second masters or PhD or serve as a biomedical engineer in an institution.
Thus Master’s degree from UTS offered as Masters in Engineering studies-Biomedical engineering will undoubtedly be a significant boost in realizing my long term goals and understanding the new technology and improve and implement upon the existing one so as to broaden the social perspective of biomedical engineering in my country. ]]> CVs, Resumes and Applications proprabhavs http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/191201-need-help-my-statement-purpose-correction.html http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/190930-letter-interest-phd-position.html Wed, 15 May 2013 21:55:05 GMT May i ask you guys to correct my Letter -------- Dear Dr. xx: I am sending my CV attached to this letter, in order to apply for the PhD position in xx, with the xxInstitute. As you can see from my CV, all of my academic and professional... May i ask you guys to correct my Letter
--------

Dear Dr. xx:

I am sending my CV attached to this letter, in order to apply for the PhD position in xx, with the xxInstitute.

As you can see from my CV, all of my academic and professional experiences are related to the study of Software and Programming. During my undergraduate studies in Software Engineering, I took several courses related to Database, software programming, and in my Master’s degree I also had a project in implementing finite element analysis by Database and its optimization techniques, Moreover, I worked as a teacher assistant in xx University which is one of the most famous university in xx.
I've gotten my master degree from Interdisciplinary School of Scientific Computing (ISSC) in India which gave me a very wide and good view to how to apply computer science in other fields.
After my Post graduation I had a chance to analyze and develop a Schedule & Train Tour Tickets Booking program for xx Railway Co that all clients in each province connect to this program and buy ticket. I should mention that this program is still working in xx Railway Co, and all people reserve and buy ticket via this application.

My main academic goal in pursuing a PhD degree is to gain the abilities needed to allow me to become an international-level researcher with highly specialized knowledge and expertise in my field. I would like to study, for example, advanced topics in database.

There are several reasons because I would like to carry out my PhD at xx Institute, but the most important are related to the fact that many students are supported by studentships and the very low ratio of graduate students to professors (40:20) in Institute, what means that advisors and students carry out their research activities very close each other, what I think it is a great opportunity for students to learn from professors’ and other students’ experience and knowledge.

I am very confident that you will agree with me about my potential to become a member of xx. I look forward to hearing from you about my application, or if you require any additional information. ]]> CVs, Resumes and Applications aelmi http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/190930-letter-interest-phd-position.html http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/190848-my-motivation-letter-university.html Mon, 13 May 2013 21:13:52 GMT I'm really sorry for my awful english, but I need your help to correct my mistakes and maybe edit my sentences or express my idea in different words.

Dear Sir or Madam:

With this letter, I would like to express my interest in studying at the „University of ...”

My name is Raimonds. I was born in Latvia, the country next to The Baltic Sea. Latvia is really wonderful little country with a bit more than 2.5 millions of citizens and it is fantastic that from 2004 Latvia in the European Union.

I am comprehensively developed person. In soonest few weeks I am going to finish studies in Riga Secondary School Nr.93. I constantly trying to participate in different variety of activities just because I like to work in team or group and spend my free time doing some interesting activities that I am involved in. I usually go on the most various optional classes outside of school, doing some sports and in general I am trying to lead an active lifestyle. I regularly go to the gym to keep myself in good shape and so my immune system is not weakened. At age 12, graduated from the computer courses at 17 graduated waiters – bartender courses so I can find some summer job and part time job while I still study. I love people. I enjoy communicate with them, make different discussions about any topic and help with all I can.

This may sound strange, but wherever I go I always find some new interesting friends and I am very pleased about that. Just because I like to study and communicate with people with different culture, try to learn something more about other religions and nationalities, that’s why I regularly travel a lot with my parents and I have been already to more than ten different countries which we visited by car and most of time we stayed in tent in wild.

From the life I want to get as many as I can and I want to be useful to people and my main goal in life is to get a higher education and competitive profession, so I can work in the chosen profession and regularly improve it as far as possible. I think this university “Name of University” has everything that I want and all what I need. I want to apply “Communication and Multimedia” very interesting with great potential for career advancement and further education. As I mentioned before I like to work and communicate with people, work with computers and with different audio and video stuffs. I have read a lot of your educational institution and if I can say, I fell in love with it. I love that students can communicate with teachers freely like with friends, little classes is big plus too, because than teacher can concentrate on every student. It’s so lovely how much useful practical knowledge your high school can give, how great it is to meet people from different countries and make them as your friends.

Thank you for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response.

Yours faithfully, ]]> CVs, Resumes and Applications Raymond Yeesalneeks http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/190848-my-motivation-letter-university.html http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/190768-cover-letter-apply-tour-guide-position.html Sun, 12 May 2013 17:15:55 GMT Please help me to edit my cover letter (the sooner the better). Thank you so much! Vu Van Uoc Den Lu 1, Hoang Van Thu, Hoang Mai, Ha Noi Mob: Email: May 13th, 2013 Ms. Nguyen VIDOTOUR Travel Company 206 Au Co Road, Quang An commune, Tay... Please help me to edit my cover letter (the sooner the better). Thank you so much!

Vu Van Uoc
Den Lu 1, Hoang Van Thu, Hoang Mai, Ha Noi
Mob:
Email:
May 13th, 2013
Ms. Nguyen
VIDOTOUR Travel Company
206 Au Co Road, Quang An commune, Tay Ho District, Hanoi
Re: Tour guide position
Dear Ms.Nguyen,
I wish to apply for the position of tour guide as advertised in the website svjob.net.
As you will see on my CV, I’m a member of Hanoi Free Tour Guides, an NGO Organization, in which I take a role as a tour guide to show the beauty of Ha Noi to foreigners. Besides, I had two months working as a volunteer at Vietnam Museum of Ethnology with the main task is to guide and to interview tourists visiting the museum. Throughout these positions, I have acquired a lot of experience needed for the job.
Moreover, I am currently the President of GALEC English Club. It has helped me a lot in improving my soft skills, my English and knowing how to manage my time effectively, which are the essential skills for a tour guide.
In addition, I love travelling, have a high passion for showing the beauty of Vietnam to tourists worldwide. I am very enthusiastic, self-motivated and patient in work. I know how to communicate well with everybody and understand the important of listening and respecting the others.
I strongly believe that I fit with this job and I really hope you will give me an opportunity to perform my abilities. I would welcome the opportunity to have an interview in your company.
Thank you for your time and consideration!
Sincerely yours,
Vu Van Uoc ]]> CVs, Resumes and Applications jonywish http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/190768-cover-letter-apply-tour-guide-position.html http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/190689-help-how-write-addressee.html Sat, 11 May 2013 03:50:09 GMT I am writing a cover letter for my resume. I am applying for a university program wherein only 30 applicants will be chosen out of 200 applicants. I wrote an email to the contact person on who to address the letter to and found out that there are... I am writing a cover letter for my resume. I am applying for a university program wherein only 30 applicants will be chosen out of 200 applicants. I wrote an email to the contact person on who to address the letter to and found out that there are three people who will be reading this letter. The people involved are from the university admission's office and from a company who will be paying for the tuition.

My question is: how do i write this letter knowing there are three people involved in making the decision with regards to my application? I know their names. How do i write these names on the addressee line of this letter?

Any help will be greatly appreciated......thanks..... ]]> CVs, Resumes and Applications olalat http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/190689-help-how-write-addressee.html http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/190609-motivational-letter-uni-architec.html Thu, 09 May 2013 13:27:06 GMT hey, im dinda from indonesia, im going tot enter UNi this 2013 and one of the requirements is that i have to make a motivational letter. i've done mine. could you correct mine please ? thanks :)


Dinda Pramita Djodi Putri
address
city, state, zipcode


May, 7, 2013

Dear Madam or Sir
I appreciate this opportunity to provide further background information in support of my application for entrance to the foundation program of Architecture at the XXX University for the 2013 term. I want to gain deeper understanding of the properties and uses of materials, manufacturing processes, building structure, and the sequence of building operations.

In high school I graduated with Science as my major. My knowledge of Science I gained for 3 years is very abundant. The impact of this knowledge spurs me to learn and discover more organisms. My academic performance has been always good. Due to my passion and ambition I became top 5 students in every semester. My experiences outside of academics have prepared me to be able to work with diverse populations. I have been a member of Teens Scientific Research in my school. During my activity in this organization, I learned how to be more creative and imaginative by making scientific thing out of scarps. Furthermore, this organization thought me to try new things. Moreover, I learned to work as team and cooperate with each other. In addition, I became more connected with the Science world. I also a member of Student Company and JA Job Shadow in Indonesia. Here, I strengthened my sense of patience and understanding for other students. By donating my time as a part of the student organization, I am capable to understand how emotions, especially enthusiasm, can motivate others. Through my activity from this, I gained much about different cultures in Indonesia. Furthermore, I helped people to overcome their insecurities by exchanging experiences and inspirations and sharing my first impressions.

Over time, I have assumed the roles of a team member, a team leader and most recently of that school peer. In retrospect, I feel that the engagement with the student of Drum band during my high school not only groomed me as a team player but greatly improved my interpersonal skills. I also join the extracurricular activity in drawing. Through my daily drawing, I came to recognize that my knowledge and skill of drawing according to a set of conventions is very limited. I want to learn more about the topics so that I can continue with my education in architecture and become a professional architect.

I would very much like to spend studying at the XXX University. This would give me a chance to deepen my architecture knowledge in the inspiring, creative and cosmopolite environment of one of the largest Australia University. Moreover, I am confident that my experience in Australia would be extremely exciting, fun and valuable for both my studies and overall general development.

Given my past history of commitment to excellence, I am confident that I will bring a high level of energy and enthusiasm to your program. I am sure to exceed your expectations, because of both my academic and interpersonal skills as well as the experience gained from my internship. I will enrich the program by enabling fellow students and professors to benefit from my ambitious and open nature. Furthermore, my international background and interdisciplinary education will add more diversity to your program.

Thank you for considering my application, and I look forward to your acceptance.

Sincerely,

Dinda Pramita Djodi Putri

]]> CVs, Resumes and Applications Dinda Djodi http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/190609-motivational-letter-uni-architec.html http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/190583-setting-individual-objectives-please-help.html Thu, 09 May 2013 06:15:48 GMT Hi Every body, Iam wondering if anyone can help me in how to set individual objectives for position of the secretary!! I have some ideas, but i think there are very poor. Really i dont know how to begin!! i must submit it next week... Hi Every body,

Iam wondering if anyone can help me in how to set individual objectives for position of the secretary!!

I have some ideas, but i think there are very poor.

Really i dont know how to begin!!


i must submit it next week on Sunday

Please assist me 8-) ]]> CVs, Resumes and Applications Sara 58 http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/190583-setting-individual-objectives-please-help.html http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/190481-motivational-letter-university-architec.html Tue, 07 May 2013 08:15:56 GMT hello, im dinda and im from Indonesia, im going to enter on of university in australia and one of the requirement is i have to write a motivational letter. i wrote this today, and i wonder if there a lot of mistakes. would you mind to correct it... hello, im dinda and im from Indonesia, im going to enter on of university in australia and one of the requirement is i have to write a motivational letter. i wrote this today, and i wonder if there a lot of mistakes. would you mind to correct it please ? thank you:-):-D

Dinda Pramita Djodi Putri
address
city, state, zip code

Dear Madam or Sir

I appreciate this opportunity to provide further background information in support of my application for entrance to the foundation program of Architecture at the XXX University for the 2013 term. I want to gain deeper understanding of the properties and uses of materials, manufacturing processes, building structure, and the sequence of building operations.

In high school I graduated with Science as my major. My knowledge of Science I gained for 3 years is very abundant. The impact of this knowledge spurs me to learn and discover more organisms. My academic performance has been always good. Due to my passion and ambition I became top 5 students in every semester. My experiences outside of academics have prepared me to be able to work with diverse populations. I have been a member of Teens Scientific Research in my school. During my activity in this organization, I learned how to be more creative and imaginative by making scientific things out of scarps. Furthermore, this organization thought me to try new things. Moreover, I learned to work as team and cooperate with each other. In addition, I became more connected with the Science world. I also a member of Student Company and JA Job Shadow in Indonesia. Here, I strengthened my sense of patience and understanding for other students. By donating my time as a part of the student organization, I am capable to understand how emotions, especially enthusiasm, can motivate others. Through my activity from this, I gained much about different cultures in Indonesia. Furthermore, I helped people to overcome their insecurities by exchanging experiences and inspirations and sharing my first impressions.


Over time, I have assumed the roles of a team member, a team leader and most recently of that school peer. In retrospect, I feel that the engagement with the student of Drum band during my high school not only groomed me as a team player but greatly improved my interpersonal skills. I also join the extracurricular activity in drawing. Through my daily drawing, I came to recognize that my knowledge and skill of drawing according to a set of conventions is very limited. I want to learn more about the topics so that I can continue with my education in architecture and become a professional architect.



I would very much like to spend studying at the XXX University. This would give me a chance to deepen my architecture knowledge in the inspiring, creative and cosmopolite environment of one of the largest Australia University. Moreover, I am confident that my experience in Australia would be extremely exciting, fun and valuable for both my studies and overall general development.



Given my past history of commitment to excellence, I am confident that I will bring a high level of energy and enthusiasm to your program. I am sure to exceed your expectations, because of both my academic and interpersonal skills as well as the experience gained from the organizations. I will enrich the program by enabling fellow students and professors to benefit from my ambitious and open nature. Furthermore, my international background and interdisciplinary education will add more diversity to your program.



Thank you for considering my application, and I look forward to your acceptance.

Sincerely,

Dinda Pramita Djodi Putri




]]> CVs, Resumes and Applications Dinda Djodi http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/190481-motivational-letter-university-architec.html http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/190391-help-editing-personal-statement-medical-school.html Sun, 05 May 2013 17:13:57 GMT I was wondering if someone with a strong background in English could assist me with my Personal Statement for Medical School. If you could please check for grammatical errors, sentence structure, misspelled words, or other unclear aspects of the... I was wondering if someone with a strong background in English could assist me with my Personal Statement for Medical School. If you could please check for grammatical errors, sentence structure, misspelled words, or other unclear aspects of the essay, it would be greatly appreciated. Please feel free to give me your opinion about my statement. Thank you for your time.


It was 2:30 in the morning when my dad woke me yelling “Anthony, come quick!” I hurried over to my parent’s bedroom and saw my mother lying on the floor. Expecting the worst, I mentally prepared myself that I might have to perform CPR until the ambulance arrived. After checking her vitals and ensuring she was okay, I helped her onto the bed and called 911. After waiting several minutes in the emergency room, we were greeted by Dr. Stellpflug. After he took a thorough history and explained the tests he planned on ordering, he assured us he would take excellent care of her, and comforted not only her anxiety but mine as well. This was one of the instances that inspired me to pursue a career in medicine, and showed me the importance of a physician’s bed side manner, as well as the communication between a doctor, a patient, and their family. I was grateful to have the opportunity to shadow him after this event. Another experience that sparked my interest in medicine was learning I was born 3 ½ months premature, I was inspired by the stories of empathy and the skills of the neonatal physicians’. The experiences I encountered working in a hospital, solidified my ambitions to pursue a career in medicine.

Working in healthcare has allowed me the opportunity and honor to assist in the care of members of my community. While in college I received invaluable experience working as a transporter, my job entailed escorting patients for their diagnostic imaging exams, and assisting the radiology technicians. One of the instances that stand out was caring for a patient named Joe who had been in a severe car accident that left his mobility impaired. Joe’s accident stood out because my dad was involved in a similar accident when I was younger. Being involved in the team effort for Joe’s care reminded me of the excellent care my dad received from the hospital staff and physicians. I enjoyed watching Joe progress from being bed ridden with multiple fractures to using crutches and after months of physical therapy, having the ability to walk under his own power.

I have gained a better understanding and appreciation for the career I’ve chosen to pursue when I started shadowing Dr. Fisher. I have learned that a doctor plays the role of teacher, educating their patients on their condition and symptoms, as well as which medications to avoid based on their medical history. Dr. Fisher showed me that a great doctor is compassionate, intelligent, and kindhearted. I respect how he often made his patient a partner in their medical case, and I have learned a sense of humor goes a long way and can make a tremendous difference in the patient’s mindset and demeanor. I learned that the physician-patient relationship is a team effort requiring a great deal of communication and understanding on both ends. Each patient isn’t just a collection of symptoms; each patient has his or her own unique story. I took what he taught me to heart, and I understand that medicine is a lifelong journey, which entails reading and expanding my knowledge on new research, medications, and technology for the benefit of my future patients. This is one of the aspects of medicine that is so intriguing to me, and I hope to pursue in the future.


My interest in science and research adds to my fascination of a career in medicine. From general biology to immunology, to perhaps my favorite course anatomy and physiology, all of my science classes have their share of new discoveries. I have cherished the opportunity to see real life examples at my job based on the concepts learned in my classes, such as autoimmune diseases, pH changes in diabetic ketoacidosis, and the use of intravenous immunoglobulins. I was excited to have the opportunity to perform my own research project. The challenges were gratifying as I wondered what the results would show after months of work. Despite being only on the undergraduate level, the idea that the results from the project I created would advance our knowledge of a particular area of science was exhilarating.

Although I have found research can be very rewarding, my five years of clinical experience has shown me that I would thrive in the clinical side of medicine by serving the underprivileged rather than pursuing a clinical-research career. I look forward to the challenges and rewards a career as a physician offers. ]]> CVs, Resumes and Applications Anthony78001 http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/190391-help-editing-personal-statement-medical-school.html http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/190185-help-would-you-please-correct-my-cover-letter.html Thu, 02 May 2013 09:26:13 GMT Please delete this thread. ;-) Please delete this thread.

;-) ]]> CVs, Resumes and Applications Username10 http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/190185-help-would-you-please-correct-my-cover-letter.html http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/190162-please-help-me-improve-my-cover-letter-job-ad.html Wed, 01 May 2013 19:54:03 GMT Admin, please remove this thread. Thanks. Admin, please remove this thread. Thanks. ]]> CVs, Resumes and Applications Abe_55 http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/190162-please-help-me-improve-my-cover-letter-job-ad.html http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/190093-please-help-me-correct-grammar-my-motivation-letter.html Tue, 30 Apr 2013 16:52:19 GMT Dear Sir or Madam,

I am hereby applying for entrance for the Bachelor's in Economic and Business at the Universiteit van Amsterdam in September 2013.

The subject of Economics fascinates me. It is interconnected with most social sciences and is the reason behind most our decisions. I wish to educate myself on its complexity and learn the useful tools on how to benefit from my knowledge on this subject. BSc in Economics and Business is the perfect program for me. After having completed BSC, I would like to extend my studies focusing on finance and UvA offers master program just for that.

During my secondary education I participated in many exchange programs to England and Scotland. I realized that living in another country made me more mature, acquire new skills and clarify my life goals. As I visited United Kingdom before, I chose USA as the country to spend a year in as an exchange student. Studying in USA offered many new experiences. I was the most interested in choosing subjects I preferred and picking classes with higher difficulty. One among many highlights in the US was the participation at the DECA state championships; a competition for all business and marketing students in the whole state. I was fascinated about how businesses operated, how marketing worked and how everybody could be unconsciously influenced. I also participated few school debates over subjects like same sex marriage and gun control. Researching and debating these and similar issues influenced me in choosing Netherlands as the country in which I would like to live and study.

A very obvious reason why the UvA is an attractive university is its internationality. Amsterdam is very international making UvA the perfect place to start an international business career. The university has a high percentage of international students. I would love to be among international students, because it is a great possibility to broaden my horizons and get in touch with people on international scale. This I see as a clear advantage in pursuing career in business and economics. Another good reason for me to join the UvA is its high standard of education. UvA is highly ranked and this attracts top professors. In addition, the wide range of top partner universities and student networks offer more possibilities to better education.

All this distinguishes UvA from other universities and is making my choice clear on at what university I want to study. Thank you for considering my application. I would be very pleased to be granted admission for the fall term. ]]> CVs, Resumes and Applications amstivan http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/190093-please-help-me-correct-grammar-my-motivation-letter.html http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/189988-motivation-letter-university-amsterdam.html Mon, 29 Apr 2013 05:41:26 GMT HI, I want to kindly ask you to proofread my motivation letter and help me correct and rephrase incorrectly written sentences. Thank you in advance. Dear Sir or Madam, I am hereby applying for entrance for the Bachelor’s in Economic and... HI, I want to kindly ask you to proofread my motivation letter and help me correct and rephrase incorrectly written sentences. Thank you in advance.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am hereby applying for entrance for the Bachelor’s in Economic and Business at the Universiteit van Amsterdam in September 2013.In the following letter I will explain why I think that the UvA is the ideal university for me and I am for it.

First of all, I would like to give you some background information about me.
I am from the capital city of Slovakia, Bratislava. As my father has German heritage I was exposed to German at the very young age. As I started school I came across languages as Spanish and English. Being reminded the role of English as international language I wanted to become fluent. Also my father is an international businessman and I think that is what motivated me in pursuing career in business from very young age and seeing the importance of international languages in business.

During my secondary education I participated in many exchange program to England and Scotland. I realized that living in another country was making me mature faster, acquire skills and clarifying my life goals. As I visited United Kingdom before, I chose USA as the country to spend a year in as an exchange student. Studying in USA offered many new experiences. I was the most interested in choosing subjects I preferred and picking classes with higher difficulty. This made me choose classes like Business and Marketing” and "Honors Contemporary American and World Issues”. Business and Marketing inspired me to participate in DECA state championship. This experience made me realize that career in business is the one for me. Through Contemporary American and World Issues I participated in few school debates over subjects like same sex marriage and gun control. I think researching and debating issues like and similar to these made me ultimately choose Netherlands as the country in which I would like to live and study.

A very obvious reason why the UvA is an attractive university is its internationality. Netherlands are already very international, but Amsterdam takes it a bit further making Amsterdam the perfect place to start an international business career. The university has a high percentage of international students. I would love to be among international students because it is a great possibility to broaden my horizons and get in touch with people on international scale, what I see a clear advantage in pursuing career in business and economics. Another good reason for me to join the UvA is its high standard of education. UvA is highly ranked and this attracts top professors. In addition, the wide range of top partner universities and student networks offer more possibilities to better education.

The subject of Economics fascinates me, because of its influence from world to our daily decisions(Please help me rephrase this). I wish educate myself on its complexity and learn the useful tools on how to benefit from my knowledge on this subject. BSc in Economics and Business is the perfect program for me. After having completed BSC, I would like to extend my studies focusing on finance and UvA offers masters program just for that.

All this distinguishes UvA from other universities and is making my choice clear on at what university I want to study.

Thank you for considering my application. I would be very pleased to be granted admission for the fall term. ]]> CVs, Resumes and Applications amstivan http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/189988-motivation-letter-university-amsterdam.html