UsingEnglish.com ESL Forum - CVs, Resumes and Applications http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/ Discussions about writing CVs, Resumes and cover letters, including applying for jobs and courses. en Sat, 21 Nov 2009 06:32:36 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/images/misc/rss.jpg UsingEnglish.com ESL Forum - CVs, Resumes and Applications http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/ Please help me to correct my personal satements 2 http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/109357-please-help-me-correct-my-personal-satements-2-a.html Wed, 18 Nov 2009 05:30:43 GMT Dear teacher, below is my second part of my personal statements, please help me to correct it. with many thanks, Cream tata:up: To enhance my academic ability level I joined in an actual research group concerning the relationship... Dear teacher,

below is my second part of my personal statements, please help me to correct it.

with many thanks,
Cream tata:up:

To enhance my academic ability level I joined in an actual research group concerning the relationship between exercise and insulin resistance. Even I was the youngest member in this group; I also contributed a lot to the research. For example, in my suggestion, choice of exercise for animal models changed from ZH-PT to swimming for it is easier to control exercise intensity. Over the three and a half months of the animal experiments, I have withstood test of both physical and mental. From hurry-scurry at the beginning of training mouse to skillfully draw animal tissues, I acquainted oneself with process of animal experiment and molecular biology^^^^^^^. Through the review of the literature, I found out there are several researches about exercise and insulin resistance at the molecular level, while lack of histology. After the experiment, I applied funds of Extracurricular Science Research Project for Undergraduate from university for my own experiment----Effect of Aerobic Swimming Exercises on Histology of Liver and Pancreas of Rats with high-fat diet. This is the first time I lead an independent research. I took lessons with graduate students to learn knowledge and skill in histology and then mastered how to use freezing microtome, electron microscope and stained slices with oil red O and HE. Unfortunately, the experiment result is unfavorable and the reason might be tissue deterioration for storage. Even though my first independent experiments failed, by being intimately involved in every aspect of research, I still learned a lot: the rigorous and scientific research attitude; histochemistry experimental procedures and operations; the storage of animal tissue, I have learned what it takes to be a researcher, but more than that, I have learned how fulfilling and interesting research can be.



Besides, I joined in Research group of Key Technology in Improving Teen-agers’ Physical Fitness leaded by Prof. Chen Peijie and A/P. Zhuangjie. I devoted my whole after-class time of the first semester in 2009 on this program. We went to several primary, junior and senior high school for questionnaire survey and Physical fitness testing. And this is the first time that China imported some testing items such as 20 meters shuttle run (20MST) test which I participated in. For the new items and testing method, we met some problems and difficulties such as the young pupils cannot understand the procedure of 20MST, they always ran very fast at the beginning. We came up an idea that let some testers be the leading which partly solve the problem. After the testing, I have been in charge of 20MST data input and analysis. For it is the first time use Fitnessgram testing items for mass population test in China, there is few Chinese literature and test result to compare and reference, so I searched lots of English literature and research reports, during which my research ability improved significantly. Finally, we four undergraduate students finished one report named Measurement Results about Adolescents Physical Fitness in Shanghai and Causes Analysis. This report won third prize in the 11th "Challenge Cup” of National University Students Extracurricular Science Projects Competition in Shanghai Area. This research experience not only builds my academic ability but let me get aware of the importance of physical activity.

Since Sept 1st 2009, I have started my four months internship in Sport Science Research Center (SSRC) in Beijing Sport University, the best sport university in China. SSRC has 36 labs divided into 6 lab groups and the 3 research departments. I am spending two weeks in each lab groups. In the past days, I have assisted researchers here provide the technological service for national teams and learned rules of operating the majority of apparatus and the range of application of them in four lab groups including Sport Condition Labs, Fitness Evaluation Labs, Biochemistry Labs and Animal Experiment Labs. There are two other labs waiting for me, Hypoxic Training Labs and Sport Biology Labs. Through communication with graduate students and researchers in SSRC and training for operating lots of basic and high-tech instruments, I got a deeper understanding of research front and program conducted in kinesiology. It’s significant to get a wide knowledge in kinesiology for some research conducted in interdisciplinary way recently.

After more than three years’ exploration and experiences of research and social practice, I have seen physical and emotional benefits the physical activity and exercise provide. The sad truth is that participation are greatly decreasing and millions of people are suffering from chronic disease every day such as obesity, heart disease, Type II diabetes and hypertension for lacking of physical activity and health living style. As a beneficiary of exercise, I decide to devote my academic career to discovering effective way to measure physical activity and looking for a better pattern to promote public health.

Research has become a fundamental part of my college career, and I hope it will become the primary component of my future. The reasons why I want to pursue my master and PHD degree in U.S are following. First of all, when I interned in SSRC in Beijing Sport University I noticed that lots of advanced instrument were imported from U.S., Germany or Japan, which means that kinesiology in China is still undergoing development. I’d like to further my study in a college with better research doctrine, which your university can provide me. Moreover, you have the conditions to contact with most advanced progress and professors of kinesiology in the world. Besides, I’m always thinking that the research in kinesiology is not only interdisciplinary but also international. And the studying in US can help me combine the way of thinking in western and eastern world. With my mind set on the very specific goal of preparing myself as excellently as possible for a future in the field of physical activity and health promotion, I am fully confident that, with the ability to pursue my education at the University of XXX, I will not only be able to fulfill my dream, but to contribute substantially to the university as. ]]> CVs, Resumes and Applications Cream tata http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/109357-please-help-me-correct-my-personal-satements-2-a.html Please help me to correct my personal statements 1 http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/109356-please-help-me-correct-my-personal-statements-1-a.html Wed, 18 Nov 2009 05:28:00 GMT I am planning to apply for a univeristy in USA. Below is my personal statements. Kindly help me to correct it. Thanks, Cream Tata:roll: Twelve years, is not a transitory period; 150,000 laps, is not a small number. This long road began at... I am planning to apply for a univeristy in USA. Below is my personal statements. Kindly help me to correct it.

Thanks,
Cream Tata:roll:


Twelve years, is not a transitory period; 150,000 laps, is not a small number. This long road began at the moment I entered into one elementary school famous for its sport---two Olympic champions, several Asian and National champions. I joined swimming team when I was only six years old. From training twice a week to everyday, from more than one hundred team members to the single one, when entered junior school, I were the only one left in swimming team. On the one hand, it is the intense study; on the other hand, it is the hard swimming training. The decade training not builds a health body but contributes greatly to precious qualities including fortitude, perseverance and rational use of time.

Some people are born with certain occupations, which is a vivid portrayal for me. When faced choosing the college major, I selected kinesiology without hesitation. Even both of my parents suggested that major like computer science or finance is easier to get a higher payment after graduation. While in my deep heart, sport has already permeated in my blood. What’s more, interest is the best teacher.

Finally, with Freshmen Scholarship I entered Shanghai University of Sport, the best sport university in the whole southern China. With years of semi-professional athlete experience, it is much easier to understand courses in kinesiology and exercise science as well as discover discrepancies between theoretical knowledge and practical use. After the first three years of efforts, I receive a GPA of 3.8 and major GPA 3.9, both rank first in 76.

In addition to strive to learn professional knowledge, I tried every means to make theoretical knowledge into practice. The first semester in 2007 I got a part-time job in
Dianfeng Weight Control Company. Every morning I would call up VIP customer in her living hotel and measured her morning pulse and weight. Then we would do morning exercise together, during which I would also monitor her exercise intensity by heart rate and rate of perceived exertion (RPE). Sometimes during meal hours, I took in charge of catering specific food for VIP. Every each day, I accompanied swimming training with her. With the effort of company and customer herself, by the end of one month, she had already lost 20 pounds. After more than one month of communication and contact, I not only develop my professional skills but also deeply realized the suffering and inconvenience overweight person faced as well as risks of causing other chronic diseases. Since then, I determined to explore the relationship and mystery between physical activity and health as well as devoted myself to career of health promotion.

to be continued...... ]]> CVs, Resumes and Applications Cream tata http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/109356-please-help-me-correct-my-personal-statements-1-a.html Request to a native speaker for checking my motivational letter http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/109005-request-native-speaker-checking-my-motivational-letter.html Sat, 14 Nov 2009 01:58:18 GMT I hope this letter doesn't contain many errors. However, the job is oh so much important to me and I'd rather have the letter checked by a native. So great thanks in advance to anyone who will make me firmly convinced that I may send it without any shame! :-)

Dear Ms X,




I would like to apply for the research assistant position in response to your advertisement I have found at the x.net web portal.


I have extensive skills and personality traits that are relevant to this position. Having learned it since childhood and working abroad, I speak excellent English now. Moreover, my current studies provided me with a possibility of mastering my translation skills (by February I will have finished a course in English to Polish translation.) While working as a waiter I also became accustomed to the necessity of solving problems immediately and dealing with the pressure of time. Furthermore, I am much interested in politics and hope to begin International Relations studies as a second faculty next year.


The position you are offering has greatly interested me, for it enables working in an international environment as well as developing my diplomatic interests. I am fully convinced that if I were given an opportunity to hold the position of a research assistant, I would be totally committed to my work.


I believe that the combination of my political interests and translation knowledge is well-suited to the position you described. I have enclosed a copy of my resume with additional information about my qualifications.


I am available for an interview at your convenience.


Thank you for your consideration.




Yours sincerely,


PlainChandler ]]> CVs, Resumes and Applications PlainChandler http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/109005-request-native-speaker-checking-my-motivational-letter.html Mathematics and Physics Personal Statement http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/108984-mathematics-physics-personal-statement.html Fri, 13 Nov 2009 19:02:25 GMT Hi,
This is my first draft of my personal statement, i'm having difficulties writing about myself and i'm not sure if i've written enough.
I've underlined bits where i'm unsure of the phrasing. Please criticise as much as possible. Thanks =)

For as long as I can remember, I have always enjoyed problem solving and logic; I gained this from learning mathematics at school and as I started to develop my knowledge, I came to realise how important it really is in day-to-day life. Mathematics underlies all processes and patterns around us, and turns up everywhere you look in the world; nothing can work without it. This led me into my fascination ofhow the universe works. I discovered that physics is infinitely used in the world around me - from fluid dynamics in developing sweets and chocolates to understanding the life cycles of stars are how the universe began. Without physics, simple processes that we all take for granted wouldn’t exist, such as world wide communication and electricity - the idea that any advancement in physics could lead to even more extraordinary development in our understanding and quality of living is simply thrilling.

I particularly enjoy the core modules of mathematics at A level, it seems limitless and I find the challenge of problem solving relishing; mechanics makes it obvious how physics and mathematics work together hand in hand - the derivation of theories in physics would not be possible without maths, and physics provides maths with even more uses. Whilst studying physics at A level, I have found the subject challenging, stimulating and at times frustrating but the satisfaction gained when overcoming difficulties makes the hard work worth it, for example coming to terms with that fact that light actually consists of photons which are ‘packets’ or energy with no mass. Also, from taking psychology as an A level I have gained an incredibly useful skill of being able to constructively analyse, criticise and look at theories from every possible angle, and communicate these conclusions in well structured essays.

As a recreational activity, I have been self-teaching myself to play the piano for over 5 years. I acquired my love for music when I discovered how famous pieces of music, for instance, written by Chopin and Tchaikovsky, were simply mixtures of patterns and sequences, when looked at closely; yet they create such beautiful and complex songs filled with emotion which can be interpreted in so many different ways. To me - this relates back to mathematics and physics - on the outside, it looks as though they’re simply a list of theories and equations, but with further inspection, possibilities are endless. I have been under part-time employment since the age of 14 in various different types of vocations, for example babysitting and working at my local newsagents on weekends. I have been working in a retail store for over a year as a shop assistant which shows my commitment. From these jobs I have learnt a range of communications skills such dealing with unsatisfied customers and have gained experience in using my own initiative.

I would like to take a combined course of mathematics and physics at an even further level as it will expose me to challenges that will push me to my limits, enhance my knowledge and understanding, and also, simply for my own pleasure and personal interest. Although I am unsure of my path after graduating from university, I am certain that these qualifications will give me a variety of transferable skills and a strong base for a wide range of careers. I’m sure that I will thoroughly enjoy my university experience and that it will be full of opportunities and challenges that will help to develop me further as a person. ]]> CVs, Resumes and Applications maria3103 http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/108984-mathematics-physics-personal-statement.html <![CDATA[[CV] some questions about CV]]> http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/108884-some-questions-about-cv.html Thu, 12 Nov 2009 12:18:27 GMT hello everybody, i'm new here, this is my first thread here

so , i have some questions about how to explain correctly for the education history




for example
  • 1st year of the master’s degree in International Management
  • I am a student studying for the first year of the master's degree, specialized in international business.
  • Apply for an exchange program of the second year for the MASTER’s degree.
i can't make sure of these expressions are right:-( ]]> CVs, Resumes and Applications bocoyang http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/108884-some-questions-about-cv.html <![CDATA[[Essay] SOP for PhD in Computer Science]]> http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/108746-sop-phd-computer-science.html Tue, 10 Nov 2009 20:04:12 GMT Would someone review my essay. Some people say that there is some omitted a,an, and the articles in this essay. Would you please tell me where they are? Thanks in advance ---Quote--- Having completed my undergraduate degree and tasted... Would someone review my essay. Some people say that there is some omitted a,an, and the articles in this essay. Would you please tell me where they are?

Thanks in advance

Quote:
Having completed my undergraduate degree and tasted research briefly in M.Sc., as the next step along my career path, I am applying for admission to the Ph.D. program in Computer Science in … University to get involved deeply in research and be prepared for teaching and research-based careers. My main ambition is to utilize my research skills and knowledge to bring the welfare for my society. My undergraduate studies, research projects, work and teaching experiences, teamwork skills, and personal interests all support my decision to study computer networks and leads me to believe that I will be successful both as a Ph.D. student and later as a researcher in an academic milieu.

Computers have interested me since high school, when I was a collector of computer magazines. I was trying to read most every article in those magazines and learn everything about the state-of-the-art technologies. Soon, I became the supplier of computer magazines for my high school library because of my knowledge in this field. I participated in the nation-wide university entrance exam in my country and got the rank of 106 among approximately 400000 participants. Although I was given the chance to freely choose any major of my interest, I ended up choosing Information Technology as my prospective area of study in Sharif University of Technology, the most competitive university of technology in my home country. I studied diligently in undergraduate besides working outside university and reached the topmost rank in my major. Therefore, the university considered me as an exceptional talented student and let me enroll in M.Sc. program without passing the entrance exam. The government also exempted me from doing the compulsory military service.

When I was a junior, as the final project of Computer Networks course, I developed a Java-based graphical routing simulator (available online on my homepage) with the goal of demonstrating a well-known on-demand routing protocol in wireless networks. While it was a great chance for me to get acquainted with wireless networks, it was not until next semester that I started the research on mobility models in ad-hoc networks. MobiSim is a mobility generator, evaluator, and analyzer application, which I developed as my B.Sc. final project. I tried to implement my knowledge of object-oriented design and software patterns to make it modular and extensible. I, as a research team member, worked on improving distance prediction and mobility model recognition in ad-hoc networks using this software and published four papers in this field. Finding computer networks enchanting prompted me to voluntarily take Advanced Computer Networks, a graduate course, as an extra credit and pursue the computer networks field in M.Sc. program.

I knew about multimedia networks from Multimedia Systems course and when I was introduced to P2P networks by a Ph.D. student in the Digital Media Laboratory, I found P2P video streaming a challenging and fascinating field to pursue in M.Sc. program. I did a comprehensive survey on P2P live video streaming protocols and now am working on publishing it. Besides, I proposed a new hybrid P2P protocol, LayeredCast, with the goal of streaming live layered video. During this project, I learned how to work with OMNET++ simulator and its related packages. Then, I developed an additional module on it for simulating streaming applications on P2P networks.

Other than my experience in presenting workshops in my part-time job, I volunteered as a teacher assistant for many undergrad/graduate courses to satisfy my desire to pass my knowledge down. I, however, would like to mention only two of them that were something more than only a teaching experience for me. Computer Workshop is a preliminary course in our university, which helps freshmen acquire computer skills they need during their undergraduate studies. It was an invaluable experience to have a close contact with freshmen and help them become familiar with the new environment of university. Being TA for Object-Oriented Analysis and Design course taught by Dr. yyy for three semesters, I became skilled at planning and managing the software project of up to 15 groups. Besides, I wrote a document to guide succeeding TAs to know how to propose a software development methodology for students to do their project based on it and to manage deadlines of projects to be in accordance with course pace.
Being familiar with mobile ad-hoc networks, wireless multi-path routing, P2P networks, and multimedia networks, I want to pursue my Ph.D. degree in computer networks. While I did not have the chance to work on real-world applications in my previous researches, I would like to wrestle with real-world problems in this field, have a close contact with tangible equipments along with simulation environments, and transfer the result of my researches to industry.
I have found that … university is one of the topmost universities in the world, particularly in the computer science field. However, what make me to choose it to follow my education in are its great network labs with its up-to-date research facilities and the diverse and profound courses. Moreover, I took a look at the research interests and some publications of faculties of Department of Computer Science in the field of computer networks and have found my objectives in accordance with interests of the faculties, especially, of professor xxx, yyy, and zzz. One last attracting point about … University is the cultural diversity of the students, making it a natural choice for someone who was not born in USA. I do hope that I will be given a fair chance to realize my objectives by being granted an admission. I look forward for a long and mutually beneficial relationship with the University.

]]> CVs, Resumes and Applications masood_mj http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/108746-sop-phd-computer-science.html Revision for CV http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/108661-revision-cv.html Mon, 09 Nov 2009 21:32:32 GMT Hello there, I´m a Civil Engineer from Colombia, and I´m in the process of migrating to Australia. As a part of the process I have to lodge my CV, and other documents to IEAust, in order to get my skills assessed. I wrote my CV, and I... Hello there,

I´m a Civil Engineer from Colombia, and I´m in the process of migrating to Australia.

As a part of the process I have to lodge my CV, and other documents to IEAust, in order to get my skills assessed.

I wrote my CV, and I would like it to be reviewed by any teacher. It may be possible?

Thanks ]]> CVs, Resumes and Applications jc_velez http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/108661-revision-cv.html <![CDATA[[Essay] how to write a bursary application letter]]> http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/108637-how-write-bursary-application-letter.html Mon, 09 Nov 2009 14:58:51 GMT Hi i am planning to write a bursary application letter for my honors degree and don't have a clue how its done. What are the important point that i'm suppose to highlight. ]]> CVs, Resumes and Applications alungile http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/108637-how-write-bursary-application-letter.html <![CDATA[[CV] Edit my CV]]> http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/108504-edit-my-cv.html Sat, 07 Nov 2009 10:31:45 GMT *:lol:Hello,* *I need you to edit my CV since I am going to apply for MPH very soon.* :lol:Hello,
I need you to edit my CV since I am going to apply for MPH very soon. ]]> CVs, Resumes and Applications dejenes1979 http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/108504-edit-my-cv.html application letter http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/107772-application-letter.html Wed, 28 Oct 2009 18:46:28 GMT a good friend of mine asked me to check the english version of his application letter. When I read his letter a lot of things sound really strange to me, however I'm not sure if it is wrong. So hereby I post his letter and I was wondering if you could help me out checking his letter (it is not that much to check). I would really appreciate your help.

Thanks in advance,

Barbet

Dear mister De Boer,

While reading your vacancy as an Assistant Controller I was immediately enthusiast. I’ve got a lot of affinity with finances and an eye for numbers in general. Moreover, I prefer going deeper at this level.
In my current job I discovered challenge is a very important aspect for me. Therefore I am looking for an challenging job with develop and education possibilities. From your advertisement I learn that this matches with your organization.
After, and during my study Business Economics at the Hes Amsterdam, I’ve had an administration job. During the past year I received a lot experience as a financial administrator and I’ve also developed at personal level. Furthermore I learned working independent and flexible and I can be placed all-round.
It seems to me a challenge to work as an Assistant Controller. With my ambitious, motivated en inquisitive state of mind I am sure I can provide a positive input to your organization. Therefore I would like to define my letter and resume to you in a personal interview.

With kind regards, ]]> CVs, Resumes and Applications barbet http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/cvs-resumes-applications/107772-application-letter.html