Please correct my letter

[akm2446]

Letter Topic: 2 weeks ago you bought a radio from a local branch of a well known chain of shops. It did not work properly. The shop took it back and said that they would repair it. You have waited a week and still it not ready. Write a letter to the shop complaining.
Tell what has happened and how you feel. Ask them to repair the radio very soon or supply you with a new radio.
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Dear Sir,


I am writing this letter to express my dissatisfaction about a defected radio that I bought it from a local branch of Sony shops two weeks ago.


First time, when I turned it on, its sound was not audible and I was inevitable to set its volume to highest level. Furthermore, I tried to set its clock. But, I found out that it did not work properly. After that I returned it back to the store and they promised to repair it after two business days. In third day, I called them and asked them about the radio. But, they said that it could not be repaired and I had to wait more.


I complain about customer service of this store and I think that they do not solve my problem as well. I would like the store to fix the radio or replace it with a new one as soon as possible. Otherwise, I insist on getting a refund on my full payment.


I look forward to hearing from you as soon as possible.


Yours faithfully,
John Smith.

[write2subhayu]

I have tried to correct your letter. The red letters are correct ones & the letters with a strike through are incorrect ones.

Dear Sir,


I am writing this letter to express my dissatisfaction about over a defected defective radio that I bought it from a local branch of Sony shops two weeks ago.


First time, when I turned it on, its sound it was not audible and I was inevitable to I, inevitably, had to set its volume to the highest level. Furthermore, I tried to set its it's clock. But, I found out that it did not work was not working properly. After that I returned it back to the store and they promised me to repair it after within two business days. In On third day, I called them up and asked them about the radio. But, they said that it could not be repaired and I had would have to wait more.


I complain about lodged a complaint with customer service of this store and I think that they do have not solve handled my problem as well. I would like the store to fix the radio or replace it with a new one as soon as possible. Otherwise, I insist on getting a refund on my full payment. full refund of my payment.


I look forward to hearing I am looking forward to hear from you as soon as possible.


Yours faithfully sincerely,
John Smith.

[5jj]

Thank you for attempting to assist, write2subhayu, byt please make sure that your corrections are correct:

I tried to set its it's clock.

Its is the correct form. It's is used only as a contracted for of it is/it has.

In On the third day, I called them up

It is not necessary to use up.

I look forward to hearing I am looking forward to hear from you as soon as possible.

I look forward to is fine. Hear is wrong - it must be hearing.

Yours faithfully sincerely,
John Smith.

When the opener is Dear Sir, the closer is Yours faithfully, not Yours sincerely.

[write2subhayu]

Its is the correct form. It's is used only as a contracted for of it is/it has.

Yes, you are right. Sorry, I was wrong.

It is not necessary to use up.

Yes, its not necessary but it sounds more formal. Sounds good in an official letter.

I look forward to is fine. Hear is wrong - it must be hearing.

Isn't it grammatically wrong to use present participles (or -ing words) after 'to'?

When the opener is Dear Sir, the closer is Yours faithfully, not Yours sincerely.

There is no grammatical rule about it. Writing 'Yours faithfully' isn't wrong. But here it is more logical to write 'Yours sincerely'. Because, here, you are the customer hence the you are not supposed to be faithful to the shop but the shop is supposed to be faithful to you. 'Yours faithfully' is more logical when you write a official letter to your boss or your client. There is no binding rule though.

[5jj]

Originally Posted by 5jj It is not necessary to use up.

w2s: Yes, its not necessary but it sounds more formal. Sounds good in an official letter.
5jj: No, it does not sound more formal. If anything, the use of 'up' makes it sound less formal to me, a speaker of BrE

Originally Posted by 5jj I look forward to is fine. Hear is wrong - it must be hearing.

w2s: Isn't it grammatically wrong to use present participles (or -ing words) after 'to'?
5jj: No. 'to' is a preposition here, and, if it is followed by a verb, that verb must be an -ing form ( gerund, not a participle):

I look forward to hearing from you.
I am used to seeing this type of mistake.
I came close to crying.


Originally Posted by 5jj When the opener is 'Dear Sir', the closer is 'Yours faithfully', not 'Yours sincerely'.

w2s: There is no grammatical rule about it. Writing 'Yours faithfully' isn't wrong. But here it is more logical to write 'Yours sincerely'.
5jj: It is not a matter of logic or grammatical rule., but of convention.

[...] There is no binding rule though.
5jj: Well, the convention is pretty firmly established in British English that 'Yours faithfully' close a letter beginning 'Dear Sir/Madam', and 'Yours sincerely' closes a letter starting 'Dear (Name).

[write2subhayu]

Originally Posted by 5jj It is not necessary to use up.

w2s: Yes, its not necessary but it sounds more formal. Sounds good in an official letter.
5jj: No, it does not sound more formal. If anything, the use of 'up' makes it sound less formal to me, a speaker of BrE

Originally Posted by 5jj I look forward to is fine. Hear is wrong - it must be hearing.

w2s: Isn't it grammatically wrong to use present participles (or -ing words) after 'to'?
5jj: No. 'to' is a preposition here, and, if it is followed by a verb, that verb must be an -ing form ( gerund, not a participle):

I look forward to hearing from you.
I am used to seeing this type of mistake.
I came close to crying.


Originally Posted by 5jj When the opener is 'Dear Sir', the closer is 'Yours faithfully', not 'Yours sincerely'.

w2s: There is no grammatical rule about it. Writing 'Yours faithfully' isn't wrong. But here it is more logical to write 'Yours sincerely'.
5jj: It is not a matter of logic or grammatical rule., but of convention.

[...] There is no binding rule though.
5jj: Well, the convention is pretty firmly established in British English that 'Yours faithfully' close a letter beginning 'Dear Sir/Madam', and 'Yours sincerely' closes a letter starting 'Dear (Name).

Thanks a lot. Learned few new things today.