asking for help

[keltouma_H]

thank you...

[b3foul]

you see souna if someone cririsize about something it s for your own benifet so don t misunderstand it...

[keltouma_H]

Where are you souna?what about your writings.
I'm waiting...

[souna]

Hi my friends, sorry if i did not write before because i was ill and am so happy to hear your comments which encourage me.
Iprefer choose the subject of tv to write about my self.Ithink it is easy
The subject say:Tv has bad effect on children.

Television has bad effects on children.First,the movies can has many immorals picture effects on the mind of children.Second,the age of children or teenagers dont allow them to choose between the good and bad.Third,tv is concidered a wast of time .Children dont have the time to stay with their parent.In addition,children spend a lot of time in front of tv without doing their home wiork.
In brief,parents should recognize the time of their children for not being lost.

thanks so much for your help and attention

[b3foul]

Hisouna,I hope you are ok.
the subject that you are talking about ,whether you choose it or it was proposed by a teacher is a very important one,and there are a lot of things to be said about it,I m not gonna talk in details ,but your paragraph is a bit short,talking about television may takes pages and pages,I m not asking you to do so,but at least try to focus on some important elements and try to elaborate them,and also try to use some elements that will help ypu to link between your thoughts.
good luck...


b3foul

[souna]

Hi my friend,
I remember that my teacher told me or "us"am not oblige to elaborate some sentences if am not sure i will not make mistakes. Which mean ; i prefer write small paragraphe to long with full of mistakes

Iwait your reply plz.

[b3foul]

you may be right,but you should have first the main sentenses (level 2 ) so that your paragraph won t be too short.
I agree with you when you say it s better to be short than long but full of mistakes,but be careful when choosing the sentenses that will be put in your paragraph...
good luck.

b3foul

[Tdol]

Originally Posted by souna

Television has bad effects on children.First,the movies can has many immorals picture effects on the mind of children.Second,the age of children or teenagers dont allow them to choose between the good and bad.Third,tv is concidered a wast of time .Children dont have the time to stay with their parent.In addition,children spend a lot of time in front of tv without doing their home wiork.
In brief,parents should recognize the time of their children for not being lost.

First,the movies can has many immorals picture effects on the mind of children- immoral should not have -s- it's an adjective and they don't have plural forms in English.
First, immoral movies can affect the minds of children.

the age of children or teenagers dont allow- age is singular and is the subject of the verb, so the verb should be 'does not'

I would say:
Children and teenagers are too young to de`cide between good and bad.


concidered a wast- considered a waste

Children dont- don't
their parent- parents
home wiork- homework
recognize the time of their children for not being lost- this needs rephrasing:
Parents should organise their children's time so that it is not wasted.

[souna]

Dear sir,
I hope my writing is better than before and thanks to your help.

[Tdol]

You're welcome, Souna.