[Essay] I was wondering someone could check my essay in terms of semantic and grammer mistake

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roozbeh63

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When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?


Answer:
Throughout the history the human technology has continuously developed but it is quite obvious that over the recent century the acceleration of these developments has been on the significant increase. Arguably, while the new technologies turn up traditional skills substitute with new ones meanwhile the question is what happen to the last technologies, based on the statistics done in recent years vast proportion of these technologies wipe out of minds but surprisingly not all of them. The social experts are of the belief that people of every society need to have tradition, and as far as people are concerned some of the past technologies are an appropriate way to save tradition.
The general consensus in more enlighten societies believes that the traditional technology should be kept in the museum not completely die out, duo to the fact that the next generations and our children will be informed about the trend of the human inventions and the ways of life in the past. My assumption is that there are many advantages to thrive the present technology in order to ease the life yet maintain the past technology is more important, so that we always be aware of the intensive ways of life which our fathers had. Having studied the case from the social point of view one comes to the realization that it is just as beneficial to save the tradition as it is to develop new skills, for instance remind you to the chariot witch once was the major means of communication and dramatically substituted with many new spectacular inventions like aircraft, car, trunk, train etcetera… but still it is on the use in many entertainment events and festivals.
In conclusion, I am firmly of the assumption that preserving the past skills is not a pointless task at all, vice versa; it is an essential notion that conserving of tradition, drives and hauls us to the future and leads us to the new inventions.
thanks
 

Rover_KE

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Welcome to the forums.:-D

In future, please post requests for proofreading in the
Editing & Writing Topics forum.

I'll move this for you.

Rover
 

roozbeh63

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thanks for your consideration
 
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