help, is my answer correct??

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darkor22

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[FONT=&quot]I was ask to Revise the following sentences as necessary to eliminate any errors in parallel structure.

[/FONT] 1. I remember watching it the first time, realizing I’d never seen anything like it, and immediately vowed never to miss an episode of The Daily Show.

2. A crowd stood outside the school and were watching as the graduates paraded by.

3. An effective Web site is well designed, provides use full information, and links are given to other relevant sites.

4. It is impossible to watch The Office and not seeing a little of yourself in on the characters.

5. Lila was the winner not only of the pie-eating contest but also won the yodeling competition.

and here are my answer..


1. I remember watching it for the first time and realized I’d never seen anything like it. Immediately I vowed never to miss an episode of The Daily Show.
2. A crowd stood outside the school watching as the graduates paraded by.
3. An effective web site is well designed, provides use full information, and lings to other relevant sites.
4. It is impossible to watch The Office and not see a little of yourself in one of the characters.
5. Lila was the winner of the pie-eating and yodeling competitions.


[FONT=&quot]any help will be very appreciated..
[/FONT]
 
J

J&K Tutoring

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1. I remember watching it for the first time and realized I’d never seen anything like it. Immediately I vowed never to miss an episode of The Daily Show.
2. A crowd stood outside the school watching as the graduates paraded by.
3. An effective web site is well designed, provides use full information, and lings to other relevant sites.
4. It is impossible to watch The Office and not see a little of yourself in one of the characters.
5. Lila was the winner of the pie-eating and yodeling competitions.

1. I remember watching it for the first time and realizing I’d never seen anything like it.
2. You're okay if you add a comma after the word school. It's important to make clear who is doing the watching. As written, it looks like the school is watching- absurd. It's the same construction as: A crowd gathered around the man drawing funny pictures on the sidewalk. The man is drawing the pictures. But: A crowd gathered around the man, drawing funny pictures on the sidewalk. Now who's drawing the pictures? The crowd. You might consider a change to: The crowd stood outside the school and watched as the graduates paraded by.
3. An effective web site is well designed, provides useful information, and has links to other relevant sites. Need to make clear whether the word links is used here as a noun or a verb.
4. good
5. Okay, but I think I would add the word both between of and the. It's not needed because you have competitions in plural, but I think it's more clear. Lila was the winner of both the pie-eating and yodeling competitions.
 
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