[Essay] A Ship Tour

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Ashiuhto

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Nov 30, 2010
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Chinese
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Taiwan
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The following paragraph is fictional. Would anyone be kind enough to correct the errors for me? Thanks!

Today, the wind invited me to travel with it. It took me to board a big ship. The ship was leaving for Europe. There were more than 300 passengers here. I was afraid that the throng of people might tread me to death. Thankfully, a cute dog picked me up and guided me to stroll around the ship. First, we went to the swimming pool, where it was crowded with dabblers having a frolic. Then we visited the restaurant, which was tastefully furnished with modern furniture. Next, we came to the health club, where it was full of people doing body-building exercise. This travel was the greatest traveling experience in my life. I was grateful to the wind that served as my tour guide.

 

Grumpy

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Aug 12, 2009
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UK
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Today, the wind invited me to travel with it. It took me [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] onboard a big ship,[STRIKE]. The ship[/STRIKE] which was leaving for Europe. There were more than 300 passengers [STRIKE]here[/STRIKE]. I was afraid that the throng of people might tread me to death. Thankfully, a cute dog picked me up and guided me [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] on a stroll around the ship. First, we went to the swimming pool, [STRIKE]where it[/STRIKE] which was crowded with [STRIKE]dabblers having a frolic[/STRIKE] frolicking paddlers. Then we visited the restaurant, which was tastefully furnished with modern furniture. Next, we came to the health club, [STRIKE]where it[/STRIKE] which was full of people doing body-building exercise. This [STRIKE]travel[/STRIKE] journey was the greatest travelling experience [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] of my life. I was grateful to the wind [STRIKE]that served[/STRIKE] for serving as my tour guide.
 
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