Plz help me proofread this paragraph

Status
Not open for further replies.

casablanca_30391

Junior Member
Joined
Dec 26, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
Vietnamese
Home Country
Vietnam
Current Location
Vietnam
Topic : some reasons why relationships break up
Breaking up seems to be one of the worst things that no one who is falling in love would like to happen. However, there is something that we sometimes have to accept because life is not a house full of beautiful flowers. Therefore, when your partner wants to go on his own way, it is necessary to keep a fresh mind then think of the reasons which led you to the failure so that you can build up another relationship better. According to a research carried out by the psychologists from Oxford University, there are three common causes. Firstly, if you can not stop thinking of your ex as well as the sweet memories though you are in love with another guy then you may neglect your partner’s tender care which will consequently hurt your mate. Secondly, if you feel more sad than happy when you are with your partner in view of his odd appearance or the different viewpoints, sooner or later you will deliberately break up. Finally, if your love is one-sided, it is impossible to remain the romance. On account of the fact that love must be based on the mutual benefit, you can not give only and your mate just wants to take. Gradually, both of you will be bored and disappointed, resulting from you deficiency in affection. In conclusion, it is not easy to remain a relationship, however, as long as you are willing to love with your whole heart, you can find your Mr. Right one day
 

billmcd

Key Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
Topic : some reasons why relationships break up
Breaking up seems to be one of the worst things that [STRIKE]no[/STRIKE] one who is falling in love would never like to happen. However, [STRIKE]there[/STRIKE]it is something that we sometimes have to accept because life is not a house full of beautiful flowers (or bed of roses). Therefore, when your partner wants to go on his or her own way, it is necessary to keep a fresh mind then, think of the reasons which led you to the failure so that you can [STRIKE]build up another [/STRIKE]develop a new and better relationship [STRIKE]better[/STRIKE]. According to [STRIKE]a[/STRIKE] research carried out by [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] psychologists from Oxford University, there are three common causes. Firstly, if you can not stop thinking of your ex [STRIKE]as well as [/STRIKE]and the sweet memories even though you are in love with another guy, then you may neglect your new partner’s tender care which will consequently hurt [STRIKE]your mate[/STRIKE]him or her. Secondly, if you feel more sad than happy when you are with your partner in view of his odd appearance (?) or [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] different viewpoints, sooner or later you will deliberately break up. Finally, if your love is one-sided, it is impossible to [STRIKE]remain the romance[/STRIKE]continue the relationship. [STRIKE]On account of the fact that [/STRIKE]Because love must be based on [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] mutual benefit, you can not give only and your mate just wants to take. Gradually, both of you will be bored and disappointed, resulting from you deficiency in affection. In conclusion, it is not easy to remain in a relationship, however, as long as you are willing to love with your whole heart, you can find your Mr. or Ms. Right one day.

A few suggestions.
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top