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Pierce111

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Can you check for me given below business letter? I hope I haven't made many mistakes.

Dear Sir o Madame,
We would like to interest you in establishing trade cooperation with our company – XXXX Ltd. We are Polish largest producer and distributor (supplier?) of bolts, screws and other joining components with 28 years of business running experience. With our staff amounting (mounting, reaching?) 480 employees, big production plant and five abroad, commercial branches we are serious and trustworthy partner for any kind of business cooperation.
What we can offer you is:

  • very wide assortment of products counting over 25 000 positions, ranging from screws and bolts, through building connectors, to construction chemicals;
  • high quality goods;
  • products made according to clients’ design concept;
  • commercial support connected with commodities (technical information, approvals, certificates of origin);
  • stable and reliable partnership conditions.
Regarding all given above, please consider possibility of future cooperation.
To get more on our company we invite you to visit our website: xxxxxx.com . Please take a look at our offer, range of business activity, our achievements.

If you have any questions please feel free to contact me at my email or by phone.
Thank you for your consideration.

Yours faithfully,
signature
 
Last edited:

emsr2d2

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Can you check [STRIKE]for me given[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]below[/STRIKE] the business letter below? I hope I haven't made many mistakes.

Dear Sir o​r [STRIKE]Madame[/STRIKE] Madam,

We would like to interest you in establishing a trade [STRIKE]cooperation[/STRIKE] partnership with our company – XXXX Ltd. We are [STRIKE]Polish[/STRIKE] Poland's largest producer and distributor (supplier? both of them work) of bolts, screws and other joining components with 28 years of business [STRIKE]running[/STRIKE] experience. [STRIKE]With our staff amounting (mounting, reaching?) [/STRIKE] We employ 480 [STRIKE]employees[/STRIKE] staff across our large [STRIKE]big[/STRIKE] production plant and our five [STRIKE]abroad[/STRIKE] commercial branches abroad. We are a serious and trustworthy business partner. [STRIKE]for any kind of business cooperation.[/STRIKE]

What we can offer you is:
[STRIKE]
  • very wide assortment of[/STRIKE] Over 25,000 products [STRIKE]counting over 25 000 positions,[/STRIKE] ranging from screws and bolts, through building connectors, to construction chemicals;
  • high quality goods;
  • products custom-made [STRIKE]according[/STRIKE] to our clients’ design concept;
  • commercial support connected with commodities (technical information, approvals, certificates of origin);
  • stable and reliable partnership conditions.

To [STRIKE]get[/STRIKE] find out more [STRIKE]on[/STRIKE] about our company we invite you to visit our website: xxxxxx.com. Please take a look at our offers, range of business activities and our achievements.

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me [STRIKE]at my[/STRIKE] by email or by phone.

Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to hearing from you regarding the possibility of future cooperation.

Yours faithfully,
signature

See above.
 

Pierce111

Member
Joined
Nov 27, 2012
Member Type
Other
Native Language
Polish
Home Country
Poland
Current Location
Poland
See above.

Wow, thanks, quite a lot of changes .... : )

And what about the sentence:
"Regarding all given above, please consider possibility of future cooperation." Should I discard it or have you missed that?
 

emsr2d2

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Staff member
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
UK
Wow, thanks, quite a lot of changes .... : )

And what about the sentence:
"Regarding all given above, please consider possibility of future cooperation." Should I discard it or have you missed that?

You wrote "Regarding all given above" which was incorrect. I would have changed it to "In light of the above" but such a phrase is not really appropriate in this kind of letter.

I deleted the whole sentence from its original position and reworded it. It now appears at the end of the letter as "Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to hearing from you regarding the possibility of future cooperation".

 
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