creative writing

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ostap77

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"To resume disbursments of frozen loans from the International Monetary Fund, the Supreme Council has not only approved a zero deficit budget but adopted laws for carrying out a banking reform,the new banking law was adopted with the budget having been approved.''

OR

""To resume disbursments of frozen loans from the International Monetary Fund, the Supreme Council has not only approved a zero deficit budget but adopted laws for carrying out a banking reform,not until the budget had been approved,was the new banking law adopted."

Would you please correct them? Sound OK?
 
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Barb_D

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"To resume disbursments of frozen loans from the International Monetary Fund, the Supreme Council has not only approved a zero deficit budget but adopted laws for carrying out a banking reform --I was doing okay up to here.

,the new banking law was adopted with the budget having been approved.'' -- I can't understand what you mean here.

OR

""To resume disbursments of frozen loans from the International Monetary Fund, the Supreme Council has not only approved a zero deficit budget but adopted laws for carrying out a banking reform,not until the budget had been approved,was the new banking law adopted."??

Would you please correct them? Sound OK?

I can't make out the part in blue at all. It seems like you need to try to say this using more than one sentence.

I would also use an "also" -- not only... but also...
 

ostap77

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I can't make out the part in blue at all. It seems like you need to try to say this using more than one sentence.

I would also use an "also" -- not only... but also...

Regarding the part in blue, could I use it as a separate sentence to mean that the new banking law was adopted right after the budget had been aproved?

Regarding the part in pink, I was trying to mean that the aproval of the budget preceded the adoption of the new banking law?
 

freezeframe

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"To resume disbursements of frozen loans from the International Monetary Fund, the Supreme Council has not only approved a zero deficit budget but adopted laws for carrying out a banking reform,the new banking law was adopted with the budget having been approved.''

OR

""To resume disbursements of frozen loans from the International Monetary Fund, the Supreme Council has not only approved a zero deficit budget but adopted laws for carrying out a banking reform,not until the budget had been approved,was the new banking law adopted."

Would you please correct them? Sound OK?

To resume disbursements of frozen loans from the IMF, the Supreme Council has not only approved a zero deficit budget but also adopted laws for carrying out a banking reform. The new banking law was adopted (only) after the budget had been approved.

Your second version is too convoluted, in my opinion.
 

ostap77

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To resume disbursements of frozen loans from the IMF, the Supreme Council has not only approved a zero deficit budget but also adopted laws for carrying out a banking reform. The new banking law was adopted (only) after the budget had been approved.

Your second version is too convoluted, in my opinion.

My second choice would be "Not until the budget had been approved,was the new banking law adopted."?
 

freezeframe

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My second choice would be "Not until the budget had been approved,was the new banking law adopted."?

Okay. But why? Your sentence seems to me to have the wrong tone/style for the topic at hand. This kind of topic calls for a straightforward business-like language.
 

ostap77

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Okay. But why? Your sentence seems to me to have the wrong tone/style for the topic at hand. This kind of topic calls for a straightforward business-like language.

It's just that our teachers make us use this mighty complex grammar constructions. I'm not realy comfortable at using them.
 
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