appeal to a midwife
Please help me correct the following paragraph. Thanks!
In one class, the teacher gave a lesson by playing a video clip for her students to watch. In the film, a little girl lived in a remote mountain village and her family couldn’t afford to buy a pair of shoes for her. One day, her mother was going to give birth, so the little girl had to travel over mountains and valleys to appeal to a midwife for help.
Re: appeal to a midwife
It is grammatically correct and pretty good as it stands. You might replace One day, her mother was going to give birth, so the little girl with Her mother was going to give birth soon, so one day the little girl. This allows more time for the action to unfold. The way you have written it, a suspicion may arise that the birth is so imminent that the little girl will not have time to cross mountains and valleys to fetch the midwife, shoes or no shoes.