[Cover Letter] Need helps with motivation letter

Hi everyone,

I am applying for Master degree in Finland and I am required to write a motivation letter which I have not written one before. Thus, please correct my letter. I will appreciate for any suggestions.

Dear Sir or Madam

I hereby apply for entrance to the Master Programme in Financial Economics at the xxx for the 2013 autumn term. I am very interested in this degree and I believe my strong academic background in Economics and Finance combined with quantitative desire will fulfill your requirements.

I am a young Vietnamese student studying in aaa where my desire in Economics and Finance flourish. My degree program in Finland had led me to an excellent exchange program in Reutlingen, Germany under ERASMUS program. During the 6-month period in Germany, I have attended many meetings and conferences specialized in Accounting and Finance which also shaped my future career. In 2012, I embraced the opportunity to do an internship in my home country that gave me experience of my fast-changing Vietnam where I finally arrived after 3 years. After that, I participated in a volunteer camp in Ha Long Bay, a well-known world heritage, to protect the environment and, in a way, to extend my network of international friends.

After 4 years of studying, I got the maturity to decide on which area I pretend to be specialized. This Master Programme will contribute to the evolution of my career and will allow me to develop my skills in Finance. Moreover, besides English, I have a quite good understanding of Finnish and German after 2 years of studying, which are really helpful in social life. In addition to linguistic capability, I have gained strong quantitative background from several financial and mathematical courses which allows me to pursue this particular programme. Besides, I believe that my admission will contribute to the school's diversity of nationality and internationalization

In summary, I am confident that I have the right academic record, the right appropriate skills and proper attitude to exceed the requirements of xxx and I am convinced that this program is the right step for my professional ambitions.

Thank you for considering my application.

Yours Sincerely,

Click to expand...

Konect said:

Hi everyone,

I am applying for Master degree in Finland and I am required to write a motivation letter which I have not written one before. Thus, please correct my letter. I will appreciate for any suggestions.

Click to expand...

Suggestions.


Dear Sir or Madam

I hereby apply for entrance to the Master Programme in Financial Economics at the xxx for the 2013 autumn term. I am very interested in this degree and I believe my strong academic background in Economics and Finance combined with [STRIKE]quantitative[/STRIKE] firm desire to excel in my chosen field of study will fulfill your requirements.

I am a [STRIKE]young[/STRIKE] Vietnamese student studying in aaa where my [STRIKE]desire[/STRIKE] interest in Economics and Finance flourish. My degree program in Finland had led me to an excellent exchange program in Reutlingen, Germany under the ERASMUS program. During [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] a 6-month period in Germany, I [STRIKE]have[/STRIKE] attended many meetings and conferences specialized in Accounting and Finance which has also shaped my future career ambition. In 2012, I embraced the opportunity to do an internship in my home country that gave me firsthand experience of my [STRIKE]fast-changing [/STRIKE][STRIKE]Vietnam[/STRIKE] rapidly changing homeland. [STRIKE]where I finally arrived after 3 years.[/STRIKE][STRIKE] After [/STRIKE] Following that experience, I participated in a volunteer camp in Ha Long Bay, a well-known world heritage (?), to protect the environment and, in a way, [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] extend my network of international friends.

After 4 years of study[STRIKE]ing[/STRIKE], I [STRIKE]got[/STRIKE] gained the maturity to decide [STRIKE]on[/STRIKE] in which area I [STRIKE]pretend[/STRIKE] intend to [STRIKE]be specialized[/STRIKE] specialize. This Master Programme will contribute to the evolution of my career and will allow me to develop my skills in Finance. Moreover, besides English, I have a quite good understanding of Finnish and German after 2 years of study[STRIKE]ing[/STRIKE], which are really helpful in both professional and social life. In addition to my linguistic capability, I have gained a strong quantitative background (?) from several financial and mathematical courses which allows me to pursue this particular programme. [STRIKE]Besides,[/STRIKE] I believe that my admission will contribute to the school's diversity of nationality and internationalization

In summary, I am confident that I have the right academic background and record, the [STRIKE]right[/STRIKE] appropriate skills and proper attitude[STRIKE] to [/STRIKE] that exceed the requirements of xxx and I am convinced that this program is the right step for my professional [STRIKE]ambitions[/STRIKE] goals.

Thank you for considering my application.

Yours Sincerely,

I think that where billmcd put a question mark after "world heritage", you may have been looking for the phrase "World Heritage Site". That is an official categorisation of an area so you need to be certain that it has officially been recognised as one.