Fix these three sentences

atchan said:

My country is Somalia and I cry whenever I see my broken country and fighting brothers. :-(

1) My biggest dream is to see “The big Somalia”, not these weak regions which cannot defend [STRIKE]its self[/STRIKE] themselves [STRIKE]if it’s been[/STRIKE] when attacked by any enemy.

2) I hope to see these regions [STRIKE]going to[/STRIKE] gathering together to solve their [STRIKE]disagreement[/STRIKE] disputes [STRIKE]on speech by their selves.[/STRIKE] by talking to each other.

3) Somali pirates aren’t terriers (terrorists?) [STRIKE]not[/STRIKE] nor are they burglars (? robbers/thieves ?) They’re our brothers who protect[STRIKE]ing [/STRIKE]and defend[STRIKE]ing[/STRIKE] our sea after its wealth has been stolen and [STRIKE]thrown[/STRIKE] chemicals have been thrown into it by foreign countries.

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bertietheblue said:

I'm not sure about 3). If wealth has already been stolen and chemicals thrown into the sea then what are you defending the sea against? I think I'd rephrase this, since aren't you defending against future theft and pollution and not the past? Also, I'd say 'spewn' instead of 'thrown out' because it's more emotive and also I don't think you 'throw chemicals out' - it sounds like you're thowing them overboard as jetsam! Altenatively 'discharged' (less emotive than 'spewn', more correct that 'thrown out') or 'leaked' (suggests less of an intention to pollute).

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atchan said:

My country is Somalia and I cry whenever I see my broken country and fighting brothers. :-(


3) Somali pirates aren’t terriers not burglars they’re our brothers who protecting and defending our sea after its wealth has stolen and thrown chemicals by foreign countries.

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bertietheblue said:

How about:

"The Somali pirates aren't terrorists, nor are they thieves. They are our brothers who protect our sea from foreign countries that plunder it for its wealth and pollute all life within."

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