[Essay] Can anyone please advice on my IELTS letter writing Task, thanks in advance

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pip depp

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You are unhappy about a plan to make your local airport bigger and increase the number of flights. You live near the airport.
Write a letter to your local newspaper. In your letter:
• explain where you live
• describe the problem
• give reasons why you do not want this development.
You should write at least 150 words.
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.



Dear Sir, or Madam,
I live in Murray, north east side of Queensland and this town is just 15 km from Brisbane Domestic Airport.
I am writing this letter to show the dark side of proposed rebuilding plan of airport that would not only affect to our natural habitance but also uplift number of other problems.
To start with, Green Park is the only but lavish park area near to my town. At evening and holidays, children and grandparents used to go there to play and strengthen their social bonds consecutively. Unfortunately, new development plan will occupy that area and there is no other ground nearby due to residential buildings. Consequently, Problems like obesity, peripheral artery disease and other health concerns will become more obvious. Secondly, new airport boundaries will be at 2km space from Murray town and to worsen the situation, number of flights is also increasing. And it will leave nothing but noise and air pollution which will leave jeopardized affects like asthma, ear and other disease. To be honest, this concern is not only of my family but the whole town is worried with this plan.
At the end, whole heartedly, I would like to request to the government to rethink their plan and its serious consequences on its surrounding areas. Hope to get positive response to this request letter.
Yours sincerely,
 

emsr2d2

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Welcome to the forum.

When will you submit this essay to your teacher/tutor?
 

pip depp

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Thanks, I am not having any tuition so that's why need some suggestions for my work. I have an IELTS exam on next Saturday.
 

emsr2d2

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You are unhappy about a plan to make your local airport bigger and increase the number of flights. You live near the airport.
Write a letter to your local newspaper. In your letter:
• explain where you live
• describe the problem
• give reasons why you do not want this development.
You should write at least 150 words.
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.



Dear [STRIKE]Sir, or Madam,[/STRIKE] Sir/Madam (or "Dear Editor" as you are writing to a newspaper)

I live in Murray, on the north-east side of Queensland, [STRIKE]and this town is[/STRIKE] just 15 km from Brisbane Domestic Airport.

I am writing this letter to show the dark side of the proposed rebuilding plan [STRIKE]of[/STRIKE] for the airport, [STRIKE]that[/STRIKE] which would not only affect [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] our natural [STRIKE]habitance[/STRIKE] habitat but also [STRIKE]uplift[/STRIKE] bring about a number of other problems.

[STRIKE]To start with[/STRIKE] Firstly, Green Park is the only [STRIKE]but[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]lavish park area[/STRIKE] open green space near [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] my town. [STRIKE]At[/STRIKE] In the evenings and holidays, children and grandparents [STRIKE]used to[/STRIKE] go there to play and strengthen their social bonds. [STRIKE]consecutively[/STRIKE]. Unfortunately, the new development plan will occupy that area and there is no other suitable [STRIKE]ground[/STRIKE] area nearby due to residential buildings. Consequently, problems like obesity, peripheral [STRIKE]artery[/STRIKE] arterial disease and other health concerns will become more [STRIKE]obvious[/STRIKE] prevalent as people will not be able to take exercise.

Secondly, the new airport boundaries will be [STRIKE]at 2km space[/STRIKE] only 2km from Murray [strike]town[/strike] and [STRIKE]to worsen the situation,[/STRIKE] the number of flights is [STRIKE]also[/STRIKE] increasing. [STRIKE]And it[/STRIKE] This will [STRIKE]leave[/STRIKE] create [STRIKE]nothing but[/STRIKE] noise and air pollution which [STRIKE] will leave jeopardized[/STRIKE] could cause/exacerbate issues [STRIKE]affects[/STRIKE] like asthma, [STRIKE]ear[/STRIKE] hearing problems and other diseases.

[STRIKE]To be honest, this concern is not only of my family but the whole town is worried with this plan.[/STRIKE] It is not just my family who are concerned about this - it's worrying the whole town.

[STRIKE]At the end,[/STRIKE] Finally, [STRIKE]whole heartedly,[/STRIKE] I would like to request [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] that the government [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] rethink their plan for the airport and its serious consequences on [STRIKE]its[/STRIKE] the surrounding areas. [STRIKE]I hope to get[/STRIKE] look forward to a positive response to [STRIKE]this request[/STRIKE] my letter.

[STRIKE]Yours sincerely, [/STRIKE] Unnecessary in a letter to a newspaper

Your name
Murray

Please see above for my suggested amendments in red. I haven't done a word count so I don't know if you have written at least 150 words. This was a timed exercise. Did you write your original within the stated 20-minute time limit?
 

pip depp

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Hi,
Thank you so much. Yes, i did. i suggestions are much appreciable. thanks for your greatness :)
 

emsr2d2

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Hi,
Thank you so much. Yes, I did. Your suggestions are much [strike]appreciable[/strike] appreciated. [strike]thanks for your greatness[/strike] Unnecessary [strike]:)[/strike] Don't try to use your own smilies/emoticons. If you click on the :) button in the toolbar, you will find plenty to choose from.

Note my amendments to your post. Remember that you must capitalise the word "I" at all times. I hope your exam went well. Let us know the results when you get them.
 

pip depp

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Thank you very much!!!!!!! my exam is on Saturday 11/01- I'll try to do my best. Would you mind to give me a suggestion for Task 2,if possible. thanks for all your help, it's really helpful :)




Advertising is all around us, it is an unavoidable part of everyone’s life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while others say it is a negative one. Discuss both views and include your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.



Advertisement has become an inevitable part for most of the people. Some people argue that it leaves a positive impression on their lives while other’s state that it has more disadvantages. In this essay, I will contend both views in detail and try to give my rational opinion.

No doubt, promotion has an advantage for both people and businesses. Firstly, it provides awareness to the people about new services, equipments, sales and convenience products. For example, on Boxing Day, people get pamphlets from different stores where they can compare price and configuration options before buying anything. Commercials have proven to be more convenience for people than to go and explore every store especially in such a hectic life schedule. Secondly, small to large businesses earn name, fame and profit by advertisement and become a formidable contender. For example, from two stores of same products, people would more prefer to shop from an advertised store than another one. They just excuse that they have seen promotional product of that particular store and hence it might be a best choice for them. Scientifically, this is called a psychological impression of a commercial.

However, for some people, advertisements have proven to be a curse. For instance, as stated above, advertisements leave a psychological impression, but in most cases, it could be negative. Sometimes, people cannot afford to buy, but the curiosity of advertised product compels them to go beyond their limit. For example, in 2001, Mr. Mesh Patel was caught in a bankruptcy case. Consequently, his house and household furniture went on auction. Later it was revealed that every item in his house was on installment and that still persist. Hence, many times, it leaves a negative influence on human mind.

To conclude, commercial have both positive and negative impact on mental status of a person. However, its advantages outweigh disadvantages due to the fact that in this hectic lifestyle, awareness and knowledge of market products and services is more necessary than to have a dumb attitude towards that.
 
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