[Essay] Please check my work.

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jamilakn

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As more and more students enter universities, academic qualifications are becoming devalued. To get ahead in many professions, more than one degree is now required and in future it is likely that people will take a number of degree courses before even starting work. This is an undesirable situation.
Do you agree or disagree?

It is the right of everybody to enter a university to get education for better future prospects. With the increased demand of students to get in universities, the value of academic qualification has been compromised. Some organizations while offering job, prefer people who have more than one professional degree. Although these organizations pay higher salaries, the number of jobless people is increasing and this is highly unlikely for the future of individuals and economy of countries as well.

Some people argue that the higher education, the more knowledge and the more competency. A person who has more than one degree course is more competent and can efficiently improve the quality of work. For example some pharmaceutical companies offer jobs to those pharmacists who have additional degrees or masters in business administration for their sales or marketing departments. This improves the quality of work along with better future prospects for individuals.

On the other hand those students who for any reason are unable to go for higher education or more degree courses can not get jobs easily As a result the number of jobless people in increasing day by day. This can lead to increased frustration among the youngsters who as a result could indulge themselves into criminal activities for their livelihood. Moreover, during studies, students would always remain under stress which could affect their studies as well as their health.

In conclusion it is clear that although more job opportunities would be available to an individual who have more degree courses, a number of jobless people would increase as those individuals who do not have more degrees will fail to fulfil the criteria of the employeers.
Here comes the role of governments and private organizations to provide more job opportunities which will not only improve the quality of life of individuals but this will also be beneficial for the economic conditions of the governments as well as the companies.
 

konungursvia

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It's a good essay. Note that in many places, such as North American universities, a degree course is a single course which counts toward a degree. For my Bachelor, I took twenty degree courses constituting a degree programme.
 

jamilakn

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It would be appriciated if a teacher give some time to proofread my essay and rate it for IELTS.
 

prosaic

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Interesting essay - may I make the following suggestions

It is the right of everybody to enter a university to get education for better future prospects. With the increased demand [STRIKE]of [/STRIKE]on students to get in universities, the value of academic qualification has been compromised. Some organizations while offering a job, prefer people who have more than one professional degree. Although these organizations pay higher salaries, the number of jobless people is increasing and this is highly [STRIKE]unlikely[/STRIKE] ?challenging? for the future of individuals and economy of countries as well.

Some people argue that the higher education, the more knowledge and the more competency. A person who has more than one degree [STRIKE]course[/STRIKE] is more competent and can [STRIKE]efficiently[/STRIKE] improve the quality of work efficiently. For example, some pharmaceutical companies offer jobs to those pharmacists who have additional degrees or masters in business administration for their sales or marketing departments. This improves the quality of work along with better future prospects for individuals.

On the other hand, those students who for any reason are unable to go for higher education or more degree courses can not get jobs easily. As a result the number of jobless people in increasing day by day. This can lead to increased frustration among the youngsters who as a result could indulge themselves into criminal activities for their livelihood. Moreover, during studies, students would always remain under stress which could affect their studies as well as their health.

In conclusion it is clear that although more job opportunities would be available to an individual who [STRIKE]have[/STRIKE] has more than one degree course [STRIKE]s[/STRIKE], [STRIKE]a[/STRIKE] the number of jobless people would increase as those individuals who do not have more degrees will fail to fulfil the criteria of the employe[STRIKE]e[/STRIKE]rs.
[STRIKE]Here comes [/STRIKE]It should be the role of governments and private organizations to provide more job opportunities, which will not only improve the quality of life of individuals but [STRIKE]this[/STRIKE] will also [STRIKE]be beneficial for [/STRIKE] benefit the economic conditions of the governments as well as the companies.

Hope that helps - all the best
 

jamilakn

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please somebody rate my essay for ielts.
 
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