Bassim
VIP Member
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2008
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Bosnian
- Home Country
- Bosnia Herzegovina
- Current Location
- Sweden
Dear people.
Is there anyone who could proofread this text. I would like to know if my last sentence "But, instead if he played.." is grammatically correct? Could one use "would be soon sitting" or it should be some other tense?
Her words came as a relief to him, although part of him wanted to stay here beside her even if her brothers would beat him to death. He hesitated for a moment, glanced at the two idiotic faces on the other side of the fence and they made him feel sick. He turned around and walked off without uttering a word, pretending not to hear their jeering voices behind him. First when he came to the outskirts of town and was away from people he became aware of his blunder. His own stupidity was going to cost him dearly. Weeks of hope and the most beautiful feelings he had experienced until now, had turned into a disaster. And the only culpable was he himself, sinking to the idiot’s level and bursting into rage because of some mocking words. But, instead if he had played his cards right, he would be soon sitting together with her in her orchard, talking love, stroking her beautiful hair and eating fruit from her own hand.
Is there anyone who could proofread this text. I would like to know if my last sentence "But, instead if he played.." is grammatically correct? Could one use "would be soon sitting" or it should be some other tense?
Her words came as a relief to him, although part of him wanted to stay here beside her even if her brothers would beat him to death. He hesitated for a moment, glanced at the two idiotic faces on the other side of the fence and they made him feel sick. He turned around and walked off without uttering a word, pretending not to hear their jeering voices behind him. First when he came to the outskirts of town and was away from people he became aware of his blunder. His own stupidity was going to cost him dearly. Weeks of hope and the most beautiful feelings he had experienced until now, had turned into a disaster. And the only culpable was he himself, sinking to the idiot’s level and bursting into rage because of some mocking words. But, instead if he had played his cards right, he would be soon sitting together with her in her orchard, talking love, stroking her beautiful hair and eating fruit from her own hand.