Correct my cover letter please!!!!!!!

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uja0514

New member
Joined
Dec 5, 2012
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Korean
Home Country
South Korea
Current Location
Ireland
Hi,
could u correct my cover letter, please?

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Dear Hiring Manager,

I am writing to apply for the Multi-Media Designer position advertised in Jobbridge.ie. I obtained my bachelor's degree in Information Science and Telecommunication from Hanshin University, South Korea in February of this year and am very interested in web development areas. I have permission to work in Ireland and my CV is enclosed for your review and consideration.

I am a fast learner person, highly motivated and able to work under pressure. I am always willing to learn new skills in order to enhance my abilities. During my study I have had a great deal of laboratory experience in Computer graphics. A range of projects with lab members enabled to develop my project management skills and my experiences as a leader in the lab have given me the capacity to manage teamwork and problem-solving and multi-tasking.

I am sure that I will be useful member of your team in your company. I can be available for interview at any time. Should you have any questions before that time, you may reach me via email at xxxxxxxxxx or by phone at xxx-xxxxxxxxx.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Yours sincerely,

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Thank u in advance!
 

billmcd

Key Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
Hi,
could u correct my cover letter, please?

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Dear Hiring Manager,

[STRIKE]I am writing [/STRIKE][STRIKE]to apply [/STRIKE] This is my application for the Multi-Media Designer position advertised in Jobbridge.ie. I obtained my bachelor's degree in Information Science and Telecommunication from Hanshin University, South Korea in February of this year and I am very interested in the web development area. I have permission to work in Ireland and my CV is enclosed for your review and consideration.

I am a fast learner [STRIKE] person[/STRIKE], highly motivated and able to work under pressure. I am always willing to learn new skills in order to enhance my abilities and to contribute to the organization. During my study I have had a great deal of laboratory experience in Computer graphics. A range of projects with lab members enabled me to develop my project management skills and my experiences as a leader in the lab have given me the capacity to[STRIKE] manage teamwork and [/STRIKE] develop problem-solving and multi-tasking skills.

I am [STRIKE]sure[/STRIKE] confident that I [STRIKE]will[/STRIKE] can be [STRIKE] useful member [/STRIKE] a valuable and productive asset to your team in your company. I [STRIKE]can be [/STRIKE] am available for an interview at any time. Should you have any questions before that time, you may reach me via email at xxxxxxxxxx or by phone at xxx-xxxxxxxxx.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Yours sincerely,

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Thank u in advance!

A few suggestions. Good luck.:up:
 
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