[Essay] Someone, please evaluate my cover letter!

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smoresmore

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I am applying for a teaching position and have written a cover letter, but would like the opinion of a 3rd person that I do not know. I have obviously replaced some sensitive information, but if someone could evaluate the following letter and give me your opinions or suggestions, that would be WONDERFUL! Thank you!



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I am interested in applying for the Lower School teaching position advertised on Monster.com.

During my time at XXXX University’s School of Education, I had the pleasure of spending 3 weeks at XXXXXX School in Mrs. Y's 2[SUP]nd[/SUP] grade classroom. In this setting, I was able to work on bringing an artistic side into my teaching skills to be more interesting and flexible in the classroom. These skills followed me into student teaching, where I used my capabilities in technology and the arts to grab the interest of my students in even the most difficult of topics. I have spent the last several months at XXXXX utilizing Safe Crisis Management and many behavior management systems that target different abilities and behaviors.

I have learned that teaching is more than classrooms and lessons, but changing what the world looks like for a child. Previous experiences have been spent defining skills in management, organization and communication, and sharing the knowledge gained from previous experiences with my co-workers.

If I have changed one child, I have done my job, and it is what I strive to do on a daily basis. Teaching is a passion and way of life to me. I would like the opportunity to schedule an interview time that is convenient for you and your hiring committee to discuss my qualifications in a more complete manner. Thank you for the time taken to review my enclosed cover letter and resume.
The best time to reach me would be early morning or late afternoon at (555) 555-5555.

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billmcd

Key Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
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English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
I am applying for a teaching position and have written a cover letter, but would like the opinion of a 3rd person that I do not know. I have obviously replaced some sensitive information, but if someone could evaluate the following letter and give me your opinions or suggestions, that would be WONDERFUL! Thank you!



>>

I am interested in applying for the Lower School teaching position advertised on Monster.com.

During my time at XXXX University’s School of Education, I had the pleasure of spending 3 weeks at XXXXXX School in Mrs. Y's 2[SUP]nd[/SUP] grade classroom. In this setting, I was able to work on bringing an artistic side into my teaching [STRIKE] skills [/STRIKE] to[STRIKE] be [/STRIKE] create more interest and flexibility in the classroom. These skills [STRIKE] followed [/STRIKE] remained with me into student teaching, where I used my capabilities in technology and the arts to [STRIKE] grab [/STRIKE] grasp the interest of my students in even the most difficult of [STRIKE] topics [/STRIKE] subjects. I have spent the last several months at XXXXX utilizing Safe Crisis Management and many behavior management systems that target different abilities and behaviors.

I have learned that teaching is more than classrooms and lessons, but changing what the world looks like for a child. At a personal level, previous experiences have been spent defining skills in management, organization and communication, and sharing the knowledge gained from previous experiences with my co-workers.

I believe that if I [STRIKE] have changed [/STRIKE] can have a positive effect on one child, I will have done my job, and it is what I strive to do on a daily basis. Teaching is a passion and way of life [STRIKE] to [/STRIKE] for me. I would like the opportunity to schedule an interview [STRIKE] time [/STRIKE] that is convenient for you and your hiring committee to discuss my qualifications in a more [STRIKE] complete manner [/STRIKE] detail. Thank you for the time taken to review my [STRIKE] enclosed [/STRIKE] cover letter and enclosed resume.
The best time to reach me would be early morning or late afternoon at (555) 555-5555.

>>

Suggestions. Good luck.
 
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