Results 1 to 3 of 3
  1. #1
    Babak Guest

    Letter to University

    Hi I would kike to start a master programm in Scotland or Engladn. Therefore I have to meet some Profs. to gest some Informations. Iwrote this eMail to get an appintment.
    Could you do me favour and check whether this letter (grammar and content) is okay. If not don`t hesitate to imrpove it. Very Happy
    Thanx very much in advance.

    Dear Mrs. xxx and Mr. xxx

    my name is Babak xxx and I am a graduated German student of 24 years. I have studied in Berlin at the "Fachhoschschule fr Technik und Wirtschaft - University of Appled Sciences".I have my first degree. It is the "Bachelor of Science".

    I am quiete interested in the Master Programm (Msc Management) you offer. I will start a trip to Scotland and Egland to meet some Master co-ordinators to get some valuable information. I will stay from 1st February to 14th February in Scotland. I would appreciate a meetng with you during this time.

    I suggest an appointment for the 4th February at 13 pm. If this date suits you, I will look forward to see you. Otherwise could you please propose an alternative date.

    Thanking you in advance,
    yours sincerely, Babak xxx.

  2. #2
    SithCloud Guest

    Re: Letter to University

    Dear Mrs. xxx and Mr. xxx,

    my name is Babak xxx and I am a graduated German student of 24 years. I have studied at the "Fachhoschschule fr Technik und Wirtschaft - University of Appled Sciences" in Berlin, where I got my first degree: "Bachelor of Science".

    I am quite interested in the Master Programm (Msc Management) you offer. I'm going on a trip to Scotland and England to meet some Master co-ordinators to acquire some valuable information. I will stay from 1st February to 14th February in Scotland. I would appreciate it if we could meet, during this time.

    I suggest an appointment for the 4th February at 1 pm, otherwise could you please propose an alternative date.

    I will look forward to see you. Thanking you in advance.


    Your sincerely,


    Babak xxx.


    (if you use 24 hour system no need to use pm or am, so either say 13 or say 1 pm)

    also it's Yours truly or Your sincerely, not yours sincerely

    Well, I think this one is a big step in the right direction, let a real teacher correct it for you, I'm still in my first year bachelor :]

  3. #3
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • Japan
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Posts
    44,191
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Letter to University

    Quote Originally Posted by Babak
    Hi I would kike to start a master programm in Scotland or Engladn. Therefore I have to meet some Profs. to gest some Informations. Iwrote this eMail to get an appintment.
    Could you do me favour and check whether this letter (grammar and content) is okay. If not don`t hesitate to imrpove it. Very Happy
    Thanx very much in advance.

    Dear Mrs. xxx and Mr. xxx

    my name is Babak xxx and I am a graduated German student of 24 years. I have studied in Berlin at the "Fachhoschschule fr Technik und Wirtschaft - University of Appled Sciences".I have my first degree. It is the "Bachelor of Science".

    I am quiete interested in the Master Programm (Msc Management) you offer. I will start a trip to Scotland and Egland to meet some Master co-ordinators to get some valuable information. I will stay from 1st February to 14th February in Scotland. I would appreciate a meetng with you during this time.

    I suggest an appointment for the 4th February at 13 pm. If this date suits you, I will look forward to see you. Otherwise could you please propose an alternative date.

    Thanking you in advance,
    yours sincerely, Babak xxx.
    Babak,

    I think this letter needs restructuring. I wouldn't start with your name- I can get that from the bottom of the page. Start with the reason for the letter= get straight to the point.

    I'd start with expressing an interest in the Master's Programme, and I wouldn't say 'quite'intyerested- this doesn't sound vfery interested. The first paragraph should contain that information, and nothing esles. The second should give more info- that you are a graduate. Then tell them about your availability and ask them if it would be posiible to arrange a meeting, thank them and close.

Similar Threads

  1. Please help me to remend my resume and coverting letter
    By Anonymous in forum CVs, Resumes and Applications
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 23-Jul-2006, 13:25
  2. resume and cover letter
    By janety_hsu in forum CVs, Resumes and Applications
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 25-Oct-2004, 23:27
  3. resume and cover letter (shirley)
    By Shirley in forum CVs, Resumes and Applications
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 25-Oct-2004, 23:18
  4. cover letter and resume
    By Anonymous in forum CVs, Resumes and Applications
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 21-Oct-2004, 05:38

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •