Dear Mrs. xxx and Mr. xxx,
my name is Babak xxx and I am a graduated German student of 24 years. I have studied at the "Fachhoschschule für Technik und Wirtschaft - University of Appled Sciences" in Berlin, where I got my first degree: "Bachelor of Science".
I am quite interested in the Master Programm (Msc Management) you offer. I'm going on a trip to Scotland and England to meet some Master co-ordinators to acquire some valuable information. I will stay from 1st February to 14th February in Scotland. I would appreciate it if we could meet, during this time.
I suggest an appointment for the 4th February at 1 pm, otherwise could you please propose an alternative date.
I will look forward to see you. Thanking you in advance.
(if you use 24 hour system no need to use pm or am, so either say 13 or say 1 pm)
also it's Yours truly or Your sincerely, not yours sincerely
Well, I think this one is a big step in the right direction, let a real teacher correct it for you, I'm still in my first year bachelor :]
- For Teachers