Results 1 to 5 of 5
  1. #1
    m-tongy is offline Newbie
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    5
    Post Thanks / Like

    Could anyone help me correct my essay,please ?

    This is Personal Statement and Study Plan for scholarship. I hope that someone could help me check this essay and correct it. I am very end.

    Personal Statement


    “I believe in my ability and decision” is my motto for my way of living. Because if we have strive and earnest, everything possible. My mother always told that I was independent and high self-assured although I always haggle but with supported reason. I agree with that because I believe that my decision on doing something is the best for myself. Therefore, after my graduation I searched for scholarship in South Korea because of Korean cultural has expanded all around the world and booming especially in Thailand, which gave me a perspective in Korea media potential as an efficiency tool of cultural exportation.

    As I was study in Faculty of Journalism and Mass Communication and I have confidence in my capability, thus I desire to study further in Broadcasting at South Korea. In order to learn and understand the idea of television program producing especially in entertainment program such as drama, game show or variety show and adapt with Thailand so that it will bring on the creative of new program, which can be a tool in Thai cultural exportation as well.

    During the past 4 years at [My University], I gained a lot of knowledge. I am specially interested in television production’s subject such as Introduction to Broadcasting, Writhing for Broadcasting, Radio & Television news I&II, Radio Production I, Television Production I&II, Broadcasting Management, Drama & Music and Culture Study Radio & Television. I most likely the practical part more than theory and always find outside knowledge in order to increasing skill for example editing practice from website tutorial. Apart from major relate’s subject, I also select the elective subject from my interest such as Photography, Ethics, Psycho Interpersonal Relation and Korean I that I see the advantage of having a various knowledge field, which will bring out more newly idea.

    When I was in the second year, my friends and I assemble to produce television program broadcasting in University’s dormitory. The aim of project is to set the real work field such as working as a group, coordination with other organization, marketing plan, production process and problem resolving. At that time, I was graphic designer for music program. Even though, it was Pre-Production process but it have to work in a limited time and under pressure, which I can pass through. Moreover, in study of Television Production I&II I always work in editor, director and switcher, which is my forte.

    I have an opportunity to intern in [Company's name]. which is the television production company when I was in the last year of University. My duty is to coordinate, think of issue for presenting and camera assistant. From the internship, I learn all the process in television producing from the beginning and see the limitation in television production for example limitation of time, place, tool, person, budget and station policy.

    Travel documentary is my favorite program because it let me see through the world that I never go. So I decide to study in Television field in order to create a program that pass my though to others. Study aboard at South Korea is the first step in to my goal. Since, [The university] is famous in modern tool that will support the educational ability. Also, have an interesting course of study whether the theory or practicing part. Especially in practicing part, which I pay close attention because working in the real process, will more learn and understand than theory. Apart from tool and educational, there also qualified professors with great capability that I hope to learn from those.

    After complete program at [The university] will develop my idea, creativity and skills to improve my knowledge and ability in television producing, which I wish to be a qualified producer including, understand of Korea television station management. Moreover, studying at Korea will make me learn the culture and language, which widen my vision, bring on the valuable memory, and experience that I couldn’t find anywhere.

    I believe that after finished the program, I can adapt the knowledge I have learnt with Thai television industry. In addition, it will guarantee my ability in work apply with every organization. I am hopefully being considered for study in undergraduate program, Department of Broadcasting at [The university].

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  2. #2
    m-tongy is offline Newbie
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    5
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Could anyone help me correct my essay,please ?

    Study Plan



    I always think that learning is never-ending even though, I have learnt for 19 years. After graduated from university, I realize that applying for a job mostly require experienced candidate. The result is many new graduate student unemployed. I knew that how lacking of experience I am so, I decide to find the study aboard scholarship. In my opinion studying in various institute especially study aboard will provide more new creativity due to the cultural different. If bring the forte from each and mix it together, it will bring out more newly idea.

    The reason I choose to study aboard at South Korea because I had watched many Korean drama including game show and variety which I saw the quality production and wish to improve the quality of Thai production as equal as Korea. I also saw behind the television production from some TV program that made me put more effort in finding the scholarship to study in TV production field for extended knowledge boundary especially in broadcasting department. This is the open of new idea and adapts it with Thai culture. Moreover, I want to study the technique and Korea television production style in order to produce new kind of program in Thailand. Which, my goal could be success if I got the scholarship.

    I found the Scholarship at [The university] which is full free scholarship and allow me to study Korean before admit to the university. Personally, I really like the language subject for example when I was in high school I choose to study in Art & French program and took Korean I in the University because in my view, various language we know more communications to other people.

    “My glory future is waiting for me” I believe that because from my past experience in Faculty of Journalism and Mass Communication, [My University] will support me to learn faster at [The university]. Since I had basic in Mass Communication field which mostly theory such as Introduction to Communication, Introduction to Broadcasting, Introduction to Journalism, Introduction to Advertising & Public relations, Film Studies and Communication Theory etc. Still I have more things to learn. I want more practicing part that I will find this support at [The university]. I had studied for the educational curriculum and found that apart from the compulsory in each year, I also interested in elective subject such as Photography, Video Making Fundamentals, Workshop for Plot Construction, Intermediate Video Editing, Workshop for Character Creation, Digital Telecommunication Network: Internet Broadcasting, Advance Video Editing, Programming of Broadcasting & Analysis, TV Drama Analysis, Advanced Production Workshop2, Advanced Post-Production Workshop. These subjects will improve my skill. Moreover, the main purpose of studying at South Korea not Europe or America, because I really want to study the Korean idea so I pay attention at these subjects: Korean Culture & Thought, Korean Culture & Space and Introduction to Cultural Studies.

    I noticed that when I watch Korean drama or game show, there always cultural intervened such as gastronomy, national sport or even Korean way of living. This can’t be seen in Thai drama that the character always travel by personal car or sometimes didn’t mention it. Even if there a lot of people that use bus in the real life, this made Thai drama unrealism and always accuse of by modern generation that it was melodrama. This group of people turns in to Korean drama that has realistic and good production instead. Beside the drama, Korean game show are very popular in Thailand because of the amusement that relaxing the stress. On the contrary, mostly of Thai game show is educational game show like quiz show, which in the same style and not response to customer needed that want new kind of program.

    Both drama and game show is the program that I really want to learn. Because I have learned the production of documentary in my University, which I really like it too but it did not make the various of knowledge. The decision of study in undergraduate program, Department of Broadcasting which I have to study for 4 years because I want to gather all the educational as much as I could. There are several subjects that I am interested and want to take all that course, if it possible. Apart from educational, I hope to join in University activity including the TV production field study at the television station.

    I hopefully that [The university] will support and help me to be a qualified person by educational fund and the good educational. Since [The university] is appropriate with several qualifications such as the supported form both government and private organization, qualified professors, the modern tool and the most important thing is the quality University of South Korea. All these things will help me to reach my goal.


    -----------------------------------------------------------

    Please sugesting me more to improve my essay.

    Thank you very much.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    1
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Could anyone help me correct my essay,please ?

    Hi,

    I can't help you with the essay, but when you're ready to start learning Korean, I currently have a site going called Learn To Read, Write, and Speak Korean.

    If you can't yet read Korean, there is a page called "Learn To Read And Write Korean Now" which has 3 videos taken from my online class which teach exactly that.

    Also on that site are other videos giving answers to questions people have asked so once you're a little further along, you can use those to help you as well.

    Good luck with everything!

  4. #4
    Searching for language is offline Senior Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Other
      • Native Language:
      • German
      • Home Country:
      • Germany
      • Current Location:
      • Canada
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    1,035
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Could anyone help me correct my essay,please ?

    "I believe in my ability and decisions” is my motto for my way of living. Because if we work hard and strive for excellence, everything is possible. My mother always told me that I was independent and self-assured. Although I always argued, I could always support my rationale. I agree with that because I believe that my decision for doing something is the best for me. Therefore, after my graduation I searched for a scholarship in South Korea. Korean cultur has expanded all around the world and is booming especially in Thailand. This gives me a perspective in Korean media potential as an efficient tool of cultural exportation.

    Wow, that's a long one to correct, so I will just take the first paragraph, and hopefully someone else will take the next.


    I am not a teacher.

  5. #5
    m-tongy is offline Newbie
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    5
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Could anyone help me correct my essay,please ?

    I feel very thankful for your help. You help me a lot in improving my essay.
    I want to say something to show how I really thanks but I don't know how to write it in English. Sometimes I'm so annoying when I can't think of the phrase or word.

Similar Threads

  1. [General] Correct use of 'Program' and 'Programme'
    By jasont in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 26-Apr-2010, 11:08
  2. Can you please correct these sentences?
    By twilit1988 in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 16-Jul-2009, 05:52
  3. can you help me
    By student2007 in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 15-Mar-2009, 10:41
  4. [Idiom] Difficult Test
    By Unregistered in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 12-Mar-2009, 19:07
  5. Correct them plz
    By twilit1988 in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 22-Oct-2008, 15:54

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •