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  1. #1
    Ever Student's Avatar
    Ever Student is offline Senior Member
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    Question Suspending prose and your editing

    " Suspending"

    A dandelion is light with a loose root. It needs a little wind to blow out this flower.
    Sometimes dancing in the sky, the dandelion pass the south with 25 degrees towards north-western and back to the south-eastern with a 30 degree angle. After crossing from a winding path, this rolling round dandelion lands slowly. having not finished the journey, it is taken by a kid from the ground with his little fingers and he starts puffing. What will happen to the poor tiny flower is taking up a new travel to the nose of a donkey that is standing on the road side. The donkey starts itching and the dandelion takes off. Where do you think it lands finally? Wherever a wind likes, whether in the sky or on the ground or in the nose.

  2. #2
    rocking is offline Junior Member
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    Smile Re: Suspending prose and your editing

    hello, Leila. I'm afraid if you read it over now, you yourself may have some new ideas to make it better by some more paragraphing or maybe by rewording some lines to make them concise and clear.

    I feel something odd with the angle expressions but i'm afraid i'm not good enough to help you with them. if you like, you may try some words like "gentle wind or breeze".

    i would rather say " a young kid catches it and sends it up puffing in front of his eyes".

    lastly, " Wherever the wind likes it - in the sky, on the ground or in a donkey's nose"

    just for your reference


    A dandelion is light with a loose root. It needs a little wind to blow out this flower.
    Sometimes dancing in the sky, the dandelion passesthe south with 25 degrees towards north-western and back to the south-eastern with a 30 degree angle. After crossing from a winding path, this rolling round dandelion lands slowly. having not finished the journey, it is taken by a kid from the ground with his little fingers and he starts puffing. What will happen to the poor tiny flower is taking up a new travel to the nose of a donkey that is standing on the road side. The donkey starts itching and the dandelion takes off. Where do you think it lands finally? Wherever a wind likes, whether in the sky or on the ground or in the nose.

  3. #3
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    Raymott is offline VIP Member
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    Default Re: Suspending prose and your editing

    Quote Originally Posted by taghavi View Post
    " Suspending"

    A dandelion is light with a loose root. It needs only a little wind to blow out this flower.
    Sometimes dancing in the sky, the dandelion passes to the south with 25 degrees towards north-western and back to the south-eastern with a 30 degree angle. After crossing from a winding path, this rolling round dandelion lands slowly. Having not finished the journey, it is taken by a kid from the ground with his little fingers and he starts puffing. What will happen to the poor tiny flower? It is taken up in a new travel to the nose of a donkey that is standing on the road side. The donkey starts itching and the dandelion takes off. Where do you think it lands finally? Wherever a wind likes, whether in the sky or on the ground or in the nose.
    It needs little wind, or It needs only a little wind.
    "only a little" = "not much".
    I like this little story.

  4. #4
    Ever Student's Avatar
    Ever Student is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: Suspending prose and your editing

    hello,
    Thank you so much for the correcting my passage.

    Why is it "It needs a little wind" wrong?

  5. #5
    Raymott's Avatar
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    Default Re: Suspending prose and your editing

    Quote Originally Posted by taghavi View Post
    hello,
    Thank you so much for the correcting my passage.

    Why is it "It needs a little wind" wrong?
    It's not exactly wrong. But if you're implying that it doesn't need a lot of wind, you write 'it only needs a little wind'.

    Often 'a little' by itself, paradoxically means 'more than a little', as in:
    English isn't hard, but you have to put in a little work before you're good at it. 'A little' is a litotes - the technical term. It's an understatement.
    'He could use a little tact'. - This means he should use a lot more tact than he does use.

  6. #6
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: Suspending prose and your editing

    I would say the dandelion is taken up in a new direction rather in a new travel.


  7. #7
    Ever Student's Avatar
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    Default Re: Suspending prose and your editing

    Thank you so much for your answer Raymott. I learned a lot.

    And

    Thank you for your suggestion RonBee.

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