i will show great gratitude if u can just spend a few minutes to take a look at my paragraph. it s from one of my essay.. i m supposed to describe a apprehensive person who was struck by another crestfallen moment and he cannot take it then fainted.
Aaron came from a single-parent family. Life has been so unfair to him when a sickening car accident paralyzed his mother’s limbs. Aaron became the only breadwinner in the family and he had to eked out a living after school periods. Since then, he seemed to be overtaken by the extreme anxiety and more, the agitation. He was nervy all the time , worrying his scholarship application , his mother’s wellbeing or the “haunting” medical bills. Everyday in school, he staggered around like a zombie with tormented soul. Peers started to isolate him as they thought Aaron was suffering from paranoid schizophrenia—which his conditions might have subscribed to the symptoms. Being skeptical about people around him, his cadaverous face has shown the delusion towards the rest. He tended to connect things happening to fate and all of that has made him highly-strung. That is why there was one time, he really ruptured his tensed nerve and that stopped him from striving for his mum and, his life.
thank you so much..
thank you very much for all your corrections and editing.
i apreciate that. they r all good suggestions to me. thank you