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Thread: revision needed

  1. #1
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    Default revision needed

    When I was 10, my family moved to a small town 100 km to the south of Lima. The town based its economy on the exports of agricultural products (mainly pomegranates and figs). Its small population was based on strong familial ties and ancient traditional customs and values. My town would probably be one more of the typical towns of the extended Peruvian coast, had it not been for an special icon that distinguish it among others, its colonial church that could be distinguished miles away. Every year, in august 15th, the celebration for the Virgin Asuncion de Maria is held in the plaza in front of the church, an event that for the priest of the town has a mandatory character for the entire citizens. The Catholic doctrine rigidly commanded the spiritual and moral paths of the community, however, as I vividly appreciated, there were thousands of different forms in which people lived their spirituality being.
    One day one of my new friends in the town invited me to his house, he proudly wanted to show me the convalescent roster that won the more important cockfight championship of the area the week before. While we were approaching to the roster cages, I saw the images hanging on the walls of the lord of Miracles, Virgin Mary, la Sarita, Equeko, etc and a number of religious artifacts as special feathers, huayruros, horseshoes, etc. For me, that environment was complete strange, but for my host all of them, images, tools and artifacts were naturally accommodated in a mosaic of complete equity and harmony.
    Last edited by yrmacita; 28-Jul-2009 at 02:06.

  2. #2
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    Jul 2009
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    Talking Re: revision needed

    Well i see it a v.good writing..
    but may be you can say Its economy was based on instead of saying the town based its economy...
    besides in this sentence had it not been for an special icon,, i feel that there is some thing wrong,,but i dont know it


    but i really liked this paragrah so much its interesting..

    goodluck

  3. #3
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    Smile Re: revision needed

    Thank you very much friend!

  4. #4
    ms_shd is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: revision needed

    good writing

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