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  1. #1
    amyjung is offline Newbie
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    Please help me to edit my sentences and fixing my grammar .......

    Please help to edit my writing and fixing grammar. I tried to fix it but would like to make sure it's readble before hand in to teacher. Thank you

    Here is my writing


    The Diffusion of Innovation in my family and my workplace



    In my daily life, social relationships that I am usually involved in and spend time with are people in my family and my workplace. Each of them has their own individualities and abilities which I am going to describe both from my family and my workplace according to Diffusion of Innovation Theory.
    The first group is an Innovator who first came up to my mind: my eldest sister. She has a prominent character in terms of curiosity. She is venturesome and educated, holds a master's degree in Science which makes her having multiple sources of information and shows a tendency to take risks. She loves technologies and usually brings new ideas of change. She is good in making decisions and is creative. When we were young my eldest sister was always the only one who designed games and activities for us to play. She loves to create her own toys as well. She was dubbed “Queen of kids” in those days. For these reasons, I think my sister is suitable to be the innovator.
    The second group is an Early Adopter which I think my brother is suitable. He is a careful person, has an ability to understand or know something immediately without needing to think about it, learn it or discover it by using reason. When he needs to do or buy things, he has to collect data that provided by innovators. He always asks them for information and takes time in making a decision. He does not care about social trends or systems but if he thinks the things that he is going to accomplish is effective, he would do it according to the information he learned from the innovators.
    The next group is an Early Majority which I think describes my close friend. She is a history teacher who is always thoughtful. She comes from a rich family but her life is not happy. Her mother passed away when she was young which made her move to stay with her father's new family. Her general character according to the Diffusion of Innovation Theory is adopting new things after she found that those things are accepted or prove from society or she sees that she is allowed to do it. She always needs an example from those who have experienced when making decisions, hardly making decision herself. She needs some suggestions. I think those behaviors are close to the Early Majority as my friend shows.
    My father should fall into the Late Majority group. Age of 52 makes him a bit traditional but still adopts innovations when forced. My father is old but still active. He is doubtful sometimes about the innovation in this globalization. His acceptance must take times to make a decision and trusts advice from others to help him make sense with innovation.
    My mother should fall into the Late Adopter group. She is 50 years old, was born in poor family and graduated only Prathom 4. However, as a housewife, she has a limited cycle of friends and most of the information she usually collects come from her friends, neighbors and relatives. She is traditional as well; always following or belonging to the customs or ways of behaving that a group of people in society has continued for a long time without changing. It is quite hard to embrace her with new technologies or products.
    The last group is Resister which honestly I can not find anyone in my family and my workplace who matches with this group because a person who should fall into this group should be conservative, always block any innovation and limited to society which may be just only around their communities. So, friends and neighbors perform an important role as main information sources for them. They mostly like being by themselves; do not like keeping up with others.
    The diffusion is a theory of how, why, and at what rate new ideas and technology spread through cultures. It is beneficial to the world's society today as this world is the world of communication. Thus, it helps to explain the process of social change. Each adopter's willingness and ability to adopt an innovation would depend on their awareness, interest, evaluation, trial, and adoption.

  2. #2
    rocking is offline Junior Member
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    Smile Re: Please help me to edit my sentences and fixing my grammar .......

    Quote Originally Posted by amyjung View Post
    Please help to edit my writing and fixing grammar. I tried to fix it but would like to make sure it's readble before hand in to teacher. Thank you

    Here is my writing


    The Diffusion of Innovation in my family and my workplace



    In my daily life, social relationships that I am usually involved in and spend time with are people in my family and my workplace. Each of them has their own individualities and abilities which I am going to describe both from my family and my workplace according to Diffusion of Innovation Theory.
    The first group is an Innovator who first came up to my mind: my eldest sister. She has a prominent character in terms of curiosity. She is venturesome and educated, holds a master's degree in Science which makes her having multiple sources of information and shows a tendency to take risks. She loves technologies and usually brings new ideas of change. She is good in making decisions and is creative. When we were young my eldest sister was always the only one who designed games and activities for us to play. She loves to create her own toys as well. She was dubbed “Queen of kids” in those days. For these reasons, I think my sister is suitable to be the innovator.
    The second group is an Early Adopter which I think my brother is suitable. He is a careful person, has an ability to understand or know something immediately without needing to think about it, learn it or discover it by using reason. When he needs to do or buy things, he has to collect data that provided by innovators. He always asks them for information and takes time in making a decision. He does not care about social trends or systems but if he thinks the things that he is going to accomplish is effective, he would do it according to the information he learned from the innovators.
    The next group is an Early Majority which I think describes my close friend. She is a history teacher who is always thoughtful. She comes from a rich family but her life is not happy. Her mother passed away when she was young which made her move to stay with her father's new family. Her general character according to the Diffusion of Innovation Theory is adopting new things after she found that those things are accepted or prove from society or she sees that she is allowed to do it. She always needs an example from those who have experienced when making decisions, hardly making decision herself. She needs some suggestions. I think those behaviors are close to the Early Majority as my friend shows.
    My father should fall into the Late Majority group. Age of 52 makes him a bit traditional but still adopts innovations when forced. My father is old but still active. He is doubtful sometimes about the innovation in this globalization. His acceptance must take times to make a decision and trusts advice from others to help him make sense with innovation.
    My mother should fall into the Late Adopter group. She is 50 years old, was born in poor family and graduated only Prathom 4. However, as a housewife, she has a limited cycle of friends and most of the information she usually collects come from her friends, neighbors and relatives. She is traditional as well; always following or belonging to the customs or ways of behaving that a group of people in society has continued for a long time without changing. It is quite hard to embrace her with new technologies or products.
    The last group is Resister which honestly I can not find anyone in my family and my workplace who matches with this group because a person who should fall into this group should be conservative, always block any innovation and limited to society which may be just only around their communities. So, friends and neighbors perform an important role as main information sources for them. They mostly like being by themselves; do not like keeping up with others.
    The diffusion is a theory of how, why, and at what rate new ideas and technology spread through cultures. It is beneficial to the world's society today as this world is the world of communication. Thus, it helps to explain the process of social change. Each adopter's willingness and ability to adopt an innovation would depend on their awareness, interest, evaluation, trial, and adoption.
    Hello, I read through your writing and marked in red what i felt wordy, hard to follow or grammatically wrong.

    Since this is your homework for the teacher, you may think it over and make some improvement on your own.

  3. #3
    amyjung is offline Newbie
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    Re: Please help me to edit my sentences and fixing my grammar .......

    Thank you very much for your suggestion. I will try to make it concise

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