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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
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    Default Can someone creatively rewrite this?

    I would like to have this rewritten to maintain context but with different wording and sentence structure. In other words, this is what I would like to say, but said differently...Is that asking too much? :o). I am trying to start a business and, because I am currently unemployed, I cannot afford to pay for copywriting and I am no good at it!

    "With the convenience of a single contact for all your needs, we offer you our local knowledge, experience, and expertise to create a program that will meet your goals and exceed your expectations in one seamless operation.
    We save you time by offering you what will work best to achieve your goals rather than the "hit and miss" of locations and venues that may not be suitable. Specially with the tremendous resources of the Internet, only our local knowledge and expertise will ensure the quality, desirability, and effectiveness of chosen venues.
    We give you unbiased opinions on what works best for you what hotel, venue or location is most suited for your program we work independently from all suppliers and have only your best interests in mind our goal is to make your program successful.
    We negotiate the best pricing, with the best suppliers and components for your venue or program. Our established relationships with preferred vendors, repetitive use of suppliers, and on the spot supervision, not only gives us an edge on pricing, but also ensures quality throughout.
    We structure your program to fit your budget by offering viable solutions to give you best use of your investment.
    We provide multilingual, professional, and knowledgeable staff for all your needs. From project manager to airport meet and greet, our staff will be a positive reflection of your corporate image.
    We work behind the scenes to ensure the success of your program. It takes a myriad of details for a successful program the ones you think of and the ones you don't we are there to ensure that even the smallest detail is taken care of and your program or event runs smoothly from inception to completion"

  2. #2
    Lady Hawk is offline Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Retired English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    107
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: Can someone creatively rewrite this?

    We is whom? What key words and phrases are affiliated with your product/service? My suggestion to you would be to join the Thirty Day Challenge Thirty Day Challenge . Sign up, it is for free. It's for people like you (and me) who are searching for a business to take to the web, but don't exactly know how to do it. Trust me, it's worth it. I will help you through it if you'd like, especially in the area of proofreading and content writing.

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