Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. #1
    lygha is offline Newbie
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    3
    Post Thanks / Like

    Wink I am new here, plz check my issue and give me some advices. Thank you very much!

    I am new here, this is my issue. Plz check and give me some advices. Thank you very much!!!

    Topic:is more important for students to understand ideas and concepts than it is for them to learn facts.

    Article:

    In many people’s books, ideas and concepts is the rule of lives. They solve problems depend on these rules. However, the world changes faster than before as well as more complex. So I think it is more important for students to learn facts than to understand ideas and concepts.
    We are now in a time called “the Information Age”, and our society is continuous changing. Every day we can face various problems. Some problem seems to be same on the surface, but they maybe have different conditions. In the other word, each thing has its specific background. If we solve two problems which seems to be same under one policy, the things may be more difficult. To support my point, there is a good example. Cold and flu have same early symptoms such as headache, cough or dizzy. They should be healed by different treatment. If the doctor uses the same method to treat these diseases, one may be healed and the other may be aggravated.
    Ideas or concepts do not reflect all aspects of thing. As we all know, ideas and concept is based on ideal conditions. Maybe solving one problem needs a lot of concepts. However, no one can deny the fact that now we must pay mort and attain greater pressure than before. We need spend more time and energy learning more useful knowledge and skills. Otherwise, we will take no advantages of opportunities when they come to visit us. Therefore, more concepts should be learned can only give a lot of pressure to us. On the contrary, remembering the facts is easier than remember the difficult and unintelligible ideas or concepts.
    Apart from what has been stated above, using ideas or concepts is low efficiency, especially when dealing with a problem you do not familiar. Moreover, using ready concepts is even impossible. For instance, when we go abroad, we will meet a lot of unimaginable things and we always call this culture shock. The most efficient way to adapt culture shock is to tell people how to do instead of telling people why. Maybe it can accelerate the process getting into the country.

  2. #2
    1984law's Avatar
    1984law is offline Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • Greek
      • Home Country:
      • Greece
      • Current Location:
      • Greece
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    104
    Post Thanks / Like

    Post Re: I am new here, plz check my issue and give me some advices. Thank you very much!

    In many people’s books, ideas and concepts are the rule of life. They solve problems depending on these rules. However, the world changes faster than before as well as in a more complicated way. So I think it is more important for students to learn facts than to understand ideas and concepts.
    We are now in a time called “the Information Age”, and our society is constantly changing. Every day we face various problems. Some of these seem to be superficially the same, but the conditions are different. In other words, each case , problem has its specific background. If we solve two problems that seem to be same, using the same policy, the situation may be more difficult. Here is an example to support my point. Cold and flu have the same early symptoms such as headache, cough or dizzyness. But they should be healed using different treatments. If the doctor uses the same method to treat these diseases, one may be healed and the other may be aggravated.

    Ideas or concepts do not reflect all aspects of every issue thing. As we all know, ideas and concepts are based on ideal conditions. we can solve a problem using many different strategies =Maybe solving one problem needs a lot of concepts. However, no one can deny the fact that now we must pay mort and attain greater pressure than before. We need to spend more time and energy learning more useful knowledge and skills. Otherwise, we didn't grasp the (will take no advantages of) opportunities when they were passing by. Therefore, more concepts should be learned can only give a lot of pressure to us. On the contrary, remembering the facts is easier than to remember the difficult and non-intelligent ideas or concepts.
    Apart from what has been stated above, using ideas or concepts is low efficient, especially when dealing with a problem one is not familiar with. Moreover, using fixed concepts is even impossible. For instance, when we go abroad, we will meet a lot of unimaginable different* things and we always call this a culture shock. The most efficient way to overcome a culture shock is to tell people how to do that instead of telling people why.
    To my opinion taking action is better than lingering in why one should do that.
    Maybe it can accelerate the process getting into the country.

  3. #3
    pyoung is offline Senior Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    909
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: I am new here, plz check my issue and give me some advices. Thank you very much!

    Dear lygha:

    Quote Originally Posted by lygha View Post
    I am new here, this is my issue. Plz check and give me some advices. Thank you very much!!!

    Topic:It is more important for students to understand ideas and concepts than it is for them to learn facts.

    Article:

    In many people’s books, ideas and concepts are the rules of life. They solve problems depending on these rules. However, the world changes faster than before [the reader does not know what you mean by 'before.' Before what?] as well as being more complex. So I think it is more important for students to learn facts than to understand ideas and concepts.

    We are now in a time called “the Information Age”, and our society is continuously changing. Every day we
    can may face various problems. Some problems seems to be the same on the surface, but they maybe have different conditions root causes or they may have arisen from different conditions and require different treatments. In the other words, each thing has its specific background. If we solve two problems which seems to be the same under one policy using just one method, [the things may be more difficult]. Do you mean: 'we may make things worse' ? To support my point, there is a good example. Colds and the flu have the same early symptoms such as headaches, a cough or dizziness. However, they should be healed by different treatments. If the doctor uses the same method to treat both these diseases, one may be healed and the other may be aggravated.

    Ideas or concepts do not reflect all aspects of things. As we all know, ideas and concepts
    is are based on ideal conditions. Maybe solving one problem needs a lot of concepts.[ However, no one can deny the fact that now we must pay mort [more?] and attain greater pressure than before.] I do not understand your meaning in this sentence. Could you explain it to me? We need to spend more time and energy learning more useful knowledge and skills. [More useful than what? Can you give examples?] Otherwise, we will take no advantages of opportunities when they come to visit us. [This is charming figurative language. ] [Therefore, more concepts should be learned can only give a lot of pressure to us.] Again, I apologize, but I do not understand your meaning here. Do you want to say that being required to learn more concepts will only cause us more stress? On the contrary, remembering the facts is easier than remembering the difficult and unintelligible ideas or concepts.

    Apart from what has been stated above, using ideas or concepts is
    low efficiency inefficient, especially when dealing with an unfamiliar problem you do not familiar. Moreover, using ready concepts is may even be impossible. For instance, when we go abroad, we will meet a lot of unimaginable things and we always call this culture shock. The most efficient way to help people adapt to culture shock is to tell people them how what to do instead of telling people them why. Maybe It can may accelerate the process getting into the country.
    Thank you for sharing your work. It is apparent that you have worked hard to write a good essay. I enjoyed reading it. A few suggestions:

    ✍ It is helpful, when writing about abstractions such as 'ideas and concepts' to give examples of what you mean by these terms. In your opening, you may want to use the idea of culture shock as a way to make sure the reader knows what you mean by 'ideas and concepts' as opposed to 'facts.'
    ✍ Be sure to provide a context for your ideas. In your first paragraph you say 'the world changes faster than before' but the reader does not know what you mean by 'before.' Later, you write, 'more useful knowledge and skills', but the reader does not know what skills you are writing about, nor does s/he know what skills would be more useful and why.
    ✍ It is best not to introduce new information at the conclusion of an essay. Your comment about helping people to enter the country may be part of an excellent example, but it belongs in the body of the piece, not at the end.
    ✍ ...and, it is easier for us to read lengthy pieces of work when they are double-spaced (each line of writing is separated from the next by a blank line). Most word processors can be set to do this automatically.

    Again, thank you for sharing your work.

    All best wishes,

    Petra

  4. #4
    lygha is offline Newbie
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    3
    Post Thanks / Like

    Thumbs up Re: I am new here, plz check my issue and give me some advices. Thank you very much!

    Quote Originally Posted by 1984law View Post
    In many people’s books, ideas and concepts are the rule of life. They solve problems depending on these rules. However, the world changes faster than before as well as in a more complicated way. So I think it is more important for students to learn facts than to understand ideas and concepts.
    We are now in a time called “the Information Age”, and our society is constantly changing. Every day we face various problems. Some of these seem to be superficially the same, but the conditions are different. In other words, each case , problem has its specific background. If we solve two problems that seem to be same, using the same policy, the situation may be more difficult. Here is an example to support my point. Cold and flu have the same early symptoms such as headache, cough or dizzyness. But they should be healed using different treatments. If the doctor uses the same method to treat these diseases, one may be healed and the other may be aggravated.
    Ideas or concepts do not reflect all aspects of every issue thing. As we all know, ideas and concepts are based on ideal conditions. we can solve a problem using many different strategies =Maybe solving one problem needs a lot of concepts. However, no one can deny the fact that now we must pay mort and attain greater pressure than before. We need to spend more time and energy learning more useful knowledge and skills. Otherwise, we didn't grasp the (will take no advantages of) opportunities when they were passing by. Therefore, more concepts should be learned can only give a lot of pressure to us. On the contrary, remembering the facts is easier than to remember the difficult and non-intelligent ideas or concepts.
    Apart from what has been stated above, using ideas or concepts is low efficient, especially when dealing with a problem one is not familiar with. Moreover, using fixed concepts is even impossible. For instance, when we go abroad, we will meet a lot of unimaginable different* things and we always call this a culture shock. The most efficient way to overcome a culture shock is to tell people how to do that instead of telling people why.
    To my opinion taking action is better than lingering in why one should do that.
    Maybe it can accelerate the process getting into the country.
    Hi 1984law,
    Thank you for checking my essay! Your job is great! And I have a question. When I was writing I do not know which word is the best?

    Thanks again! Best wishes!!!

    Sparky in Beijing

  5. #5
    lygha is offline Newbie
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    3
    Post Thanks / Like

    Thumbs up Re: I am new here, plz check my issue and give me some advices. Thank you very much!

    Quote Originally Posted by pyoung View Post
    Dear lygha:



    Thank you for sharing your work. It is apparent that you have worked hard to write a good essay. I enjoyed reading it. A few suggestions:

    ✍ It is helpful, when writing about abstractions such as 'ideas and concepts' to give examples of what you mean by these terms. In your opening, you may want to use the idea of culture shock as a way to make sure the reader knows what you mean by 'ideas and concepts' as opposed to 'facts.'
    ✍ Be sure to provide a context for your ideas. In your first paragraph you say 'the world changes faster than before' but the reader does not know what you mean by 'before.' Later, you write, 'more useful knowledge and skills', but the reader does not know what skills you are writing about, nor does s/he know what skills would be more useful and why.
    ✍ It is best not to introduce new information at the conclusion of an essay. Your comment about helping people to enter the country may be part of an excellent example, but it belongs in the body of the piece, not at the end.
    ✍ ...and, it is easier for us to read lengthy pieces of work when they are double-spaced (each line of writing is separated from the next by a blank line). Most word processors can be set to do this automatically.

    Again, thank you for sharing your work.

    All best wishes,

    Petra

    Hey Petra,
    Thank you for checking my essay and give me your professional suggestion! Your job is extremaly excellent especially the questions and few suggesitions!
    I will work hard to write a good essay.
    Thanks again! Best wishes!


    Sparky in Beijing

  6. #6
    1984law's Avatar
    1984law is offline Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • Greek
      • Home Country:
      • Greece
      • Current Location:
      • Greece
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    104
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: I am new here, plz check my issue and give me some advices. Thank you very much!

    Thank you for your kind comments. I don't understand which word you are looking for.
    If you still have questions, post them.
    Bye

Similar Threads

  1. please correct my Essay and please give a score
    By awa in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 06-Aug-2009, 12:59
  2. [Essay] Can you check it please ?
    By Rimbaud in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 01-Aug-2008, 04:04
  3. pleeaassee check my essay! "do we need to "unlearn" ideas?"
    By kaka90 in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 17-Apr-2008, 17:23
  4. Please check and correct the brochure
    By visagan in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 27-Mar-2008, 21:39
  5. please check and give me a feedback- proposal
    By maricel_more in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 13-Dec-2007, 16:18

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •