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    • Join Date: Sep 2006
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    #1

    Thumbs up IELTS WRITING PRACTISE---Please can someone revise it?

    WRITING TASK

    An English Ė speaking friend is coming to study at your college next year and has written asking for information and advice.
    Write a letter to your friend. In your letter:

    • give advice about accommodation in the town
    • descrive the best thing about the college
    • offer to show your friend around the college


    Write at keast 150 words



    = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =




    Dear John,

    Iím happy to know that youíve finally made the decision of studying here. Let me congratulate you for that.

    I know youíll love the college. There a big fountain at the entrance just in front of the statue of Francis Caldas,who was the founder of the college. As in many places, there is also a cafeteria, but the best of all is that just behind it there is a gallery. That shows all the works made by students, even if they are not artists!
    When you get here Iíll show you this as well as the surrounding of the college. Itís got a natural view just for relaxing after a tiring day.

    I was checking some places in town for you to accommodate, and there are 2 possibilities that I considered right for you. One is a single room 3 blocks far from college. The rent is $60 per month but you have to get your own food because there is no kitchen. The other one is a big room that you have to share with other 2 guys. Thatís $80 per month and itís got a kitchen and a livingroom.

    I hope it would be helpful for you. See you at the airport.

    Andrea Q

    =====================================


    Thanks

    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Interested in Language
      • Native Language:
      • Russian
      • Home Country:
      • Russian Federation
      • Current Location:
      • Israel

    • Join Date: Jun 2009
    • Posts: 50
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    #2

    Re: IELTS WRITING PRACTISE---Please can someone revise it?

    Hi,
    I corrected only what seemed obviously wrong (like language style, grammar and spelling mistakes). But frankly, I would rewrite the whole letter, make it more vivid, add more adjectives and enrich the language.

    Hope it helped )

    = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =




    Dear John,

    Iím happy to know that youíve finally made the decision of studying here. Let me congratulate you on that.

    I know youíll love the college. There is a big fountain at the entrance just in front of the statue of Francis Caldas, who was the founder of the college. As in many places, there is also a cafeteria, but the best place is just behind it - there is a gallery. That demonstrates all the works done by students, even if they are not artists!
    When you get here Iíll show you this as well as the surrounding of the college. Itís got a natural view just for relaxing after a tiring day.

    I was checking some places in town for you to accommodate, and there are 2 possibilities that I considered right for you. One, is a single room 3 blocks away from the college. The rent is $60 per month but you have to buy cooked food because there is no kitchen. The other one is a big room, shared with two roommates. Thatís $80 per month and itís got a kitchen and a living room.

    I hope you found this information helpful. See you at the airport.

    Andrea Q

    =====================================

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