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  1. #1
    anupumh's Avatar
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    Smile Please Check this Sentence

    Hi,

    Is the sentence typed below appropriate?

    When I see him, I walk away from him, as he is a rogue.

    How will a native speaker express the same thought?

    Thanks

  2. #2
    konungursvia's Avatar
    konungursvia is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: Please Check this Sentence

    First of all, we don't use conjunctions in informal speech, almost entirely, except and / but when necessary. So, to move it one step closer to our native style, try the following. Also we drop obvious descriptions (from him) and use contractions (he's):

    "When I see him, I walk away-- he's a rogue."

    That's our native speaker style -- pared down.

    To really make it AmE "youth" style, change the consequence to a mere emotional attitude, introduced by "like." Also, exaggerate and overstate the reason with a demonstrative: "such a rogue."

    "When I see him, I'm like, 'let's get out of here.' He's such a rogue."

  3. #3
    anupumh's Avatar
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    Default Re: Please Check this Sentence

    Quote Originally Posted by konungursvia View Post
    First of all, we don't use conjunctions in informal speech, almost entirely, except and / but when necessary. So, to move it one step closer to our native style, try the following. Also we drop obvious descriptions (from him) and use contractions (he's):

    "When I see him, I walk away-- he's a rogue."

    That's our native speaker style -- pared down.

    To really make it AmE "youth" style, change the consequence to a mere emotional attitude, introduced by "like." Also, exaggerate and overstate the reason with a demonstrative: "such a rogue."

    "When I see him, I'm like, 'let's get out of here.' He's such a rogue."
    Thank you very much. I ll prefer the first alternative. I dont see the need to be jazzy and funky (youth style). Also I prefer BrE over AmE.

  4. #4
    Raymott's Avatar
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    Default Re: Please Check this Sentence

    Quote Originally Posted by anupumh View Post
    Hi,

    Is the sentence typed below appropriate?

    When I see him, I walk away from him, as he is a rogue.

    How will a native speaker express the same thought?

    Thanks
    When I see him, I disappear ... can't stand the bastard.

    Of course, there are a lot of versions, depending on what company you are in, and the degree and type of the person's roguery.

  5. #5
    anupumh's Avatar
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    Default Re: Please Check this Sentence

    Thanks, so to sound native the buttom line is to be consise and drop the obvious...

  6. #6
    konungursvia's Avatar
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    Default Re: Please Check this Sentence

    And drop the logical, the literary, up to a point.

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    Default Re: Please Check this Sentence

    Quote Originally Posted by anupumh View Post
    Hi,

    Is the sentence typed below appropriate?

    When I see him, I walk away from him, as he is a rogue.

    How will a native speaker express the same thought?

    Thanks
    You're sentence is correct. However, I believe it's more usual to use "because" instead of "as". I think adding "such" makes it sound more typical. I wouldn't call the use of "such" here "American youth style", and I don't believe that the use of "such" is exaggerating or overstating the case.

    When I see him, I walk away from him because he is such a rogue.

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    Default Re: Please Check this Sentence

    Thanks, so to sound native the buttom line is to be consise and drop the obvious...
    Quote Originally Posted by konungursvia View Post
    And drop the logical, the literary, up to a point.
    Of course, sounding literary is not natural in everyday spoken English. I wouldn't say that there is anything about anupumh's sentence in the first place that sounds literary. And language that is logical does not make one's spoken expression sound less natural.

    How will a native speaker express the same thought?
    I wouldn't interpret this question in any other way other than what it literally means.

    When I see him, I walk away because he's such a rogue. - That sentence sounds natural to me, and it does not sound like the shallow style of speaking that some people (youths?) use these days, which is typically accompanied by uptalk, also known as HRT - High Rise Terminal.

    I use conjunctions other than "and, but, or" in my spoken language, just as many others do. And "because" is one of them.
    Last edited by PROESL; 11-Sep-2009 at 21:51.

  9. #9
    konungursvia's Avatar
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    Default Re: Please Check this Sentence

    Quote Originally Posted by PROESL View Post
    I don't feel that this is necessary in order to sound like one is producing natural-native-like English. I wouldn't say that there is anything about anupumh's sentence in the first place that sounds literary. And language that is logical does not make one's spoken expression sound less natural.



    I wouldn't interpret this question in any other way other than what it literally means.

    When I see him, I walk away because he's such a rogue. - That's a good sentence, and, to me, it does not sound like shallow American youth style, which is typically accompanied by uptalk, also known as HRT - High Rise Terminal.

    I use conjunction other than "and, but, or" in my spoken language, just as many others do. And "because" is one of them.
    Yes I agree that sounds too sweeping for the observed reality. I overstated that case, sorry.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Please Check this Sentence

    Quote Originally Posted by konungursvia View Post
    Yes I agree that sounds too sweeping for the observed reality. I overstated that case, sorry.
    I just thought that it was rather broad, all things considered, or as you put too sweeping. If I had had the phrase in mind, I might have simply said that.

    Just the same, I understand what you mean or meant. People do talk that way, using "like" as a kind of crutch because they don't want to, or can't, complete some of their thoughts without it. And, of course, people exaggerate, and these days the same place we might hear "like" we can hear "so" modifying an entire phrase or clause. Combine that with uptalk, and we have speaking that "doesn't sound good". I've heard people in different age goups use uptalk. One unnecessary "like" and one phrase or sentence using uptalk might be okay, but if these things seem to be prominent to some degree in a person's speaking, then that person probably won't get the job.

    I've heard ESL students and speakers use uptalk, most likely copying Americans. I've had to explain to them the difference between rising intonation at the end of a sentence that is normal and uptalk. The topic is further made difficult by the fact that some people's intonation rises as a result of transference from their first language. That has to be distinguished from uptalk, or what is known more formally as HRT.

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