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  1. #1
    Unregistered Guest

    Unhappy George Twelves Hewes

    Please help me correct my essay, i was told that there's alot of mistakes, i cant even point out, and thank you much appreciated

    George Robert Twelves Hewes was born and raised from a wretched family in Boston in1742. Around the 1760s George Hewes became an apprentice shoemaker. one of the lower ranking jobs. All the commotion in Boston by four thousand British soldiers in 1768 drew the Hewes into the resistance movement. At first his concerns were personal; he took offense when British sentries challenged him and when a soldier refused to pay for a pair of shoes. He also witnessed other people been victimized by soldiers. This harsh upbringing shaped Hewes's personality.
    More events came to Boston, and his growing political consciousness had placed Hewes in the middle of the Boston Massacre. First, it started with the school boy Christopher Seider on February 23, 1770 when a Loyalist merchant fired into a crowd of apprentices who were picketing his shop, killing him (ten days before the Massacre). Second, Off-duty paid British soldiers moonlighted; taking jobs away from Bostonians, so the Bostonians sought revenge and beat a few soldiers. And so on March 5, 1770, the day of the Massacre, British soldiers came out in force to clear the streets of rowdy civilians throwing snow, ice, and rocks at them. Hewes joined his fellow townspeople and stated “They were in the king's highway, and had as good a right to be there” as the British troops. It led the British to open fire killing five workingmen. Not only did Hewes know four of the five workingmen shot down that night by British troops, but one of them, James Caldwell, was standing by his side, and Hewes caught him as he fell.
    Outraged, Hewes armed himself with a cane, only to be confronted by Sergeant Chambers of the 29th British Regiment and eight or nine soldiers, all with very large clubs or cutlasses. Chambers seized and forced his cane, but as Hewes stated in a legal deposition, "I told him I had as good a right to carry a cane as they had to carry clubs." This deposition, which went on to tell of the soldiers threats to kill more civilians, was included in a pamphlet "A Short Narrative of the Horrid Massacre in Boston" published by a group of Boston Patriots. Hewes was also involved in the Boston Tea Party. On December 16, 1773, he turned up as a volunteer at the Tea Party organized by the radical Patriot leaders of Boston. Hewes had been singled out and made a minor leader, and played his role well. Boarding all the ships and breaking the tea boxes then throwing it overboard.
    In January 25, 1774 Hewes was coming along Fore Street; found John Malcolm an odious Bostonian who had many accomplishments as well, threatening a boy, with his cane. Hewes engaged a conversation with Malcolm retorting, that it would be ashamed to strike a boy with a blunt object. Malcolm called him a vagabond, but Hewes quickly responded “be that as it will, I never was tarred nor feathered anyhow.” Malcolm struck Hewes, leaving a deep wound on his forehead, and was taken to the doctor. But Malcolm was taught a lesson as Hewes triumph over him.
    Hewes was a well poor, honest, brave and respectful man. He was motivated by his personal experiences that shared with large numbers of other Bostonians. Hewes spoke out against all brutality. And throughout his life he was extremely sensitive about his class status, so he took action with others in his rank and condition Bostonians. He was neither a rascal nor a vagabond, “though a poor man was in as good credit in town as he was.” For man to accomplish so much, and not any recognition, no statues, stamps, or streets on his behalf is absolutely obscured. A man of greater ability or ambition might have seized the moment, using his reputation as a Patriot to win fame or fortune, but that was not Hewes's goal. He was a nobody who briefly became a somebody in the Revolution and, for a moment near the end of his life, a hero like our abolitionists who wanted to end slavery, wrote books or poems about freedom and like our women who fought to vote. All of them shared the same goal to be treated equally as everyone else.

  2. #2
    Ann1977 is offline Senior Member
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    Re: George Twelves Hewes

    George Robert Twelves Hewes was born and raised from a wretched family in Boston in1742.
    ADDED BELOW. DELETE HERE

    Around the 1760s George Hewes became an apprentice shoemaker. one of the lower ranking jobs.
    DELETE

    THE ESSAY STARTS HERE
    George Robert Twelves Hewes was one of the last survivors of the American Revolution. He played a role in the political protests in Boston that led up to the War of Independence, and later fought as a privateer and militiaman. By the time of his death at the age of 98, he had become a celebrity for his personal qualities as well as for his role in gaining America's independence from England.

    All the commotion in Boston by four thousand British soldiers in 1768 drew the Hewes into the resistance movement.
    In 1768, the commotion caused by four thousand British soldiers garrisoned in Boston drew Hewes, born in 1742 under wretched circumstances, into the Patriot movement.

    At first his concerns were personal; he took offense when British sentries challenged him and again when a soldier refused to pay for a pair of shoes.
    (This is fine, but add 'again' after 'and')

    He also witnessed other people been victimized by soldiers.
    DELETE

    This harsh upbringing shaped Hewes's personality.
    DELETE

    (new paragraph)
    More events came to Boston, and his growing political consciousness had placed Hewes in the middle of the Boston Massacre.
    In 1770, events placed Hewes in the middle of the Boston Massacre.

    First, it started with the school boy Christopher Seider on February 23, 1770 when a Loyalist merchant fired into a crowd of apprentices who were picketing his shop, killing him (ten days before the Massacre).
    On February 23, 1770, ten days before the Massacre, a Loyalist merchant fired into a crowd of apprentices who were picketing his shop, killing schoolboy Christopher Seider.


    Second, Off-duty paid British soldiers moonlighted; taking jobs away from Bostonians, so the Bostonians sought revenge and beat a few soldiers.
    Then a few off-duty British soldiers were beaten by Bostonians for taking away civialian jobs by moonlighting.

    And so on March 5, 1770, the day of the Massacre, British soldiers came out in force to clear the streets of rowdy civilians throwing snow, ice, and rocks at them.
    On March 5, British soldiers were out in force to clear the streets of rowdy civilians who were throwing snowballs, ice, and rocks at them.

    Hewes joined his fellow townspeople and stated “They were in the king's highway, and had as good a right to be there” as the British troops.
    Hewes, an apprentice shoemaker, was part of the crowd. He refused to clear the streets, telling a British officer that they were "in the King's highway, and had as good a right to be there as the British troops."

    It led the British to open fire killing five workingmen.
    In the end, the British opened fire, killing five men.

    Not only did Hewes know four of the five workingmen shot down that night by British troops, but one of them, James Caldwell, was standing by his side, and Hewes caught him as he fell.
    Not only did Hewes know four of the five men shot down that night, but one of them, James Caldwell, was standing by his side, and Hewes caught him as he fell.


    (new paragraph)
    Outraged, Hewes armed himself with a cane, only to be confronted by Sergeant Chambers of the 29th British Regiment and eight or nine soldiers
    this is fine, but omit the comma after "soldiers"

    all with very large clubs or cutlasses.

    armed with cutlasses and clubs.

    Chambers seized and forced his cane, but as Hewes stated in a legal deposition, "I told him I had as good a right to carry a cane as they had to carry clubs."
    Chambers seized Hewes' cane to force it away from him, but as Hewes stated in a legal deposition, "I told him I had as good a right to carry a cane as they had to carry clubs."

    This deposition, which went on to tell of the soldiers' threats to kill more civilians, was included in a pamphlet called "A Short Narrative of the Horrid Massacre in Boston," published by a group of Boston Patriots.
    Add an apostrophe after "soldiers" like this -- soldiers'
    Add a comma after Boston, inside the quotation mark

    (new paragraph)
    Hewes was also involved in the Boston Tea Party. On December 16, 1773, he turned up as a volunteer at the Tea Party, organized by the radical Patriot leaders of Boston.
    (This is fine. Just add a comma before "organized")

    Hewes had been singled out and made a minor leader, and played his role well. Boarding all the ships and breaking the tea boxes then throwing it overboard.
    By now Hewes had become a minor leader of the resistance, and he played his part well, boarding the ships and throwing crates of tea into Boston Harbor.

    (new paragraph)
    In January 25, 1774 Hewes was coming along Fore Street; found John Malcolm an odious Bostonian who had many accomplishments as well, threatening a boy, with his cane.
    On January 25, 1774, Hewes was coming along Fore Street when he saw a boy being threatened by John Malcolm, a despised customs inspector and Loyalist who had once been tarred and feathered by New Hampshire sailors for his overly strict customs fees.

    Hewes engaged a conversation with Malcolm retorting, that it would be ashamed to strike a boy with a blunt object.
    Hewes told Malcolm that it would be shameful to strike a boy with a cane.

    Malcolm called him a vagabond, but Hewes quickly responded “be that as it will, I never was tarred nor feathered anyhow.”
    Malcolm called him a "vagabond." Hewes responded by saying, "Be that as it may, I was never tarred nor feathered anyhow."

    Malcolm struck Hewes, leaving a deep wound on his forehead
    At that, Malcolm struck Hewes with the cane, causing a deep wound on his forehead and knocking him unconscious.

    , and was taken to the doctor. But Malcolm was taught a lesson as Hewes triumph over him.
    In one of the most publicized incidents leading up to the Revolutionary War, Hewes' fellow Bostonians seized Malcolm in reprisal, tarred and feathered him again, then dragged him to the Liberty Tree, where he was forced by threats to apologize.



    (new paragraph)
    During the Revolutionary War, Hewes fought as a militiaman and signed up for several sea voyages as a privateer attacking British shipping. At the end of the War, he sank back into obscurity and the grinding poverty that he was born into, and which he never escaped.

    He is known today through the two biographies that were written about him in his old age. They show a picture of a common man nobly connected to extraordinary events.


    DEAR STUDENT: I think you should delete all the rest

    Near the end of his life, public interest returned to the historical events of the War, and Hewes was lionized as one of its last survivors.
    Hewes was a well poor, honest, brave and respectful man. He was motivated by his personal experiences that shared with large numbers of other Bostonians. Hewes spoke out against all brutality. And throughout his life he was extremely sensitive about his class status, so he took action with others in his rank and condition Bostonians. He was neither a rascal nor a vagabond, “though a poor man was in as good credit in town as he was.” For man to accomplish so much, and not any recognition, no statues, stamps, or streets on his behalf is absolutely obscured. A man of greater ability or ambition might have seized the moment, using his reputation as a Patriot to win fame or fortune, but that was not Hewes's goal. He was a nobody who briefly became a somebody in the Revolution and, for a moment near the end of his life, a hero like our abolitionists who wanted to end slavery, wrote books or poems about freedom and like our women who fought to vote. All of them shared the same goal to be treated equally as everyone else.
    DELETE
    Last edited by Ann1977; 25-Sep-2009 at 03:58.

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