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  1. #1
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    Default HELP WITH EDIT/GRAMMAR MY ESSAY. THANKS I HAVE 700, BUT I NEED 500WORDS

    I am originally from Tanzania located in the East Coast of Africa. It is considered to be one of the most beautiful countries, with a combination of wonders such as Mountain Kilimanjaro, Lakes, the Indian Ocean, and National Parks. However, in September 16, 1998 I came to Canada: British Columbia as an International Student. I was torn between sadness at leaving my whole life behind and a feeling of anxiety and excitement at startinga new life in an unknown world. I was amazed at how beautiful it was like Tanzania but in different ways. Despite the beauty there are dissimilarities in Social Interaction, Economy and Communication.
    Social Interaction, In Tanzania there is a strong belief in cultural. For example extended family members like cousins are important as immediately family. In contrast Canada tends to care more about immediate family such as spouses and children. Furthermore, In Tanzania the gap between rich and poor is huge, Tanzanian society is divided along two lines, rich and poor, but the percentage of poor is way higher especially in rural areas. People still struggle to survival, in terms of getting food, water, and shelter. On the other hand, Canada standard of living is higher, the government system well organized and look after their individuals, for example if you canít afford house, food or other basic needs, different organizations such as welfare and employment insurance are available to assist you. Tanzania gender rights particularly in rural areas still a struggle unfortunately. Women face discrimination when it comes to employment, Politics, and education rights, more chances are given to men. Men believe women and girls jobs is take care of the household chores, and small children. Canada being one of the most developed countries in the world both men and women have equal rights. In fact there are many women in big position.
    In addition, Canada is one of the world's largest and strongest economies. Also enjoys a desirable standard of living, an excellent infrastructure, a highly educated, and highly employment rate. In contrary to that, Tanzania is one of the poorest countries in the world. The economy is heavily dependent on agriculture, minerals, and tourisms. But agriculture dominates Tanzaniaíseconomy and it counts for about half of the national income.It produces sisal, cloves, coffee, cotton, cashew nuts, minerals, and tobacco. The country also produces diamonds; other natural resources include gold, nickel, and salt.Tourism is a potential growth sector as well.Apparently, with the entirenatural gifted, the vast majority of Tanzanians still live in poverty andit remains one of the poorest countries in the world,because of the corrupt government. Therefore, unemployment rate is extreme high. Life expectancy in Tanzania is 51 years old for men and 54 years old women; on the other hand Canada life expectancy is higher, male 78 years old and female 82 years old. However, in Canada life expectancy does vary from province to province. The reason is many Tanzanian dying from different type of disease such as malaria and AIDS, thus death rateis very high.
    Moreover, both countries speak different languages. In Canada English and French are official languages. The province of Quebec speaks mainly French and the rest of the provinces speak English. In Tanzania Swahili is the official language. Tanzania has approximately 126 local languages among the twenty-six regions. Nevertheless, Tanzania struggles to overcome the linguistic barrier the need to know English. As a results most parents spends tremendous amount of money to send their children to international school, African English speaking countries or overseas to learn English. In the work force today, especially profession careers, everyone is expected to have knowledge of English language. Although in Tanzania the growth of the broadcast media has been hindered by a lack of capital investment, but you can still access the internet, watch few television channels, and read few news papers in English. In contrary to Canada technology communication through media is highly provided.
    Finally, is to say that the urban part of Tanzania follows a western life style although the country struggle economically, socially and language barrier. In spite of the differences among these two countries, both Canada and Tanzania gifted with natural beauty and in my opinion it is very important to see the world with open eyes and judge it yourself.


  2. #2
    Ann1977 is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: HELP WITH EDIT/GRAMMAR MY ESSAY. THANKS I HAVE 700, BUT I NEED 500WORDS

    I am from the East African country of Tanzania, considered one of the most beautiful countries in the world, with its combination of wonders such as Mount Kilimanjaro, Lake Victoria, the Indian Ocean, and Lake Manyara National Park, which Hemingway called "the loveliest place in Africa I had seen."

    On September 16, 1998 I left my beautiful land to study in British Columbia. It was hard to leave my whole life behind, and I was anxious about arriving in such a different place; yet I was also excited to start anew in an unknown world. My first reaction to Canada was amazement at its beauty; it is as glorious as Tanzania -- just in different ways. My next observation was how sharply the two nations differ in terms of social interactions, economy, and communication.

    Social interaction in Tanzania strongly centers around the extended family, so cousins are as important as siblings. In Canada, the immediate family is the important social group. Another difference is in gender role assignment. In Tanzania, particularly in rural areas, gender equality is not known. Men enjoy opportunities in employment, education, and politics that are denied to women. The role of women and girls in Tanzania is to care for the home and the children. In Canada, men and women have equal rights, and high positions are routinely filled by women.

    But the biggest social distinction between the countries is caused by the different ways they manage the division between the rich and the poor. In Tanzania, the gap between rich and poor is huge; it divides Tanzanian society into two unevenly-sized groups: the number of people who are poor is vastly larger than the number who are rich, and much larger than the percent of people who are poor in Canada. The poor of Tanzania, especially in rural areas, struggle for mere survival. But the Canadian standard of living is significantly higher, and government social services are well organized, with social safety nets that prevent the poor from suffering actual want.

    Another salient difference between Canada and Tanzania is that Canada is one of the world's wealthiest nations, with a high standard of living, an excellent infrastructure, a highly-educated population, and a high employment rate. In contrast, Tanzania is one of the poorest countries in the world. Its economy is heavily dependent on tourism and the export of minerals such as diamonds, gold, nickel, and salt. But agriculture dominates Tanzania’s economy, accounting for half of the national income. It produces sisal, cloves, coffee, cotton, cashews, and tobacco. The unemployment rate is high, and entrepreneurship is said to be handicapped by corruption in government. The vast majority of Tanzanians live in poverty, and life expectancy in Tanzania is only 51 years for men and 54 for women (compared to Canada's 78 and 82). Many Tanzanians die prematurely from malaria and AIDS.

    Besides their differences in social life and economics, Canada and Tanzania differ sharply in their means of communication. In Canada, communication by access to media is so easy that it is taken for granted. Electronic and print channels inundate the population with more news, information, and entertainment than people can use. In addition, there are only two official languages. In Tanzania, Swahili is the official language, but there are 126 local languages, and the country struggles with the problems caused by this linguistic barrier.

    The solution so far is to require that most people speak English. Parents spend tremendous amounts of money to send their children to international schools within Tanzania, or to schools in English-speaking countries in Africa or overseas. Everyone in the non-farming work force is expected to speak English, especially in the professions. And although the growth of Tanzanian broadcast media has been hindered by a lack of capital investment, people can access the internet, watch a few television channels, and read a few newspapers -- mostly in English, but some (such as Alasiri) in Swahili.

    Urban areas in Tanzania, such as the capitol city Dar es Salaam, follow a Western lifestyle, as the wealth of the nation tends to concentrate in the cities, but the country as a whole still struggles economically and socially. Still, in spite of the differences between Canada and Tanzania, they are alike in their blessings of natural beauty and abundance, and alike in the love their citizens feel for their homes, and their dedication to do their best for the nations of their birth.
    Last edited by Ann1977; 14-Sep-2009 at 23:00.

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