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  1. #1
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    Default NEED YOUR HELP GRAMMAR / EDITING MY ESSAY. THANK YOU

    I strongly argue that physical punishment should be banned everywhere around the world. General speaking, a child who experienced physical punishment, is not only being face physical punishment but being affected emotionally. I believe that the practising of hitting a child teaches him or her to become hitters themselves, spanking can be physically damaging, and adults should teach non violence method to discipline a child.
    Hitting a child can cause violent behaviour among kids or adults. I agree there is physical punishment everywhere around the world, but other places vary others. For example, in Africa where I spent my childhood and teenager life. Physical punishment is very common. In some cases someone like an uncle, aunt, or a neighbour might discipline a child if is not behaving well. Because of harsh physical punishment, a child might run away from home and stay with friends or relatives. However, they may refuse to take them in. As a result, a child ends up on the street and become a beggar, robbery or cause violent towards others.
    Most vividly of all, spanking a child can be physical damaging. Physical punishment is the use of physical force with the intention of causing a child to experience pain but not injury. Being said that, some adults have extensive temper and they loose control to a child. For instance, they may use hands, or other objects such as canes, paddles, yardsticks, and belts. For example, I witnessed a child being spanked by his father because he got two Fís in his mid-term examination. The consequently of that, the child was hospitalized of the wounds on his back. Africa is the poorest continent in contrast to North America, most of the African countries has no rules when it comes to physical punishment. As a parent of a child you have all the rights to do anything to your kid.
    Furthermore, adults should be able to judge proper types of punishment for their children. Physical punishment may cause negative impact on a child. For example, impaired parent and child relationship in terms of fear, anger, and avoidance. Due to this, a child might end up with stress or depression. May cause them think or act of suicide. Nowadays, physical punishment is banned from most of the schools around the world except in the third world countries still exist. I think it is not a good idea for teachers to physically punish students that may cause anxiety toward the kid and make them not do well at school. Turning to physical punishment isnít the answer, instead talk nicely and try to explain to a child what is the different between good and wrong doing
    In conclusion, I think that physical punishment is wrong. Children should be punished when acting out in school or at home. But the punishment should be in a non violent form.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
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    Default Re: NEED YOUR HELP GRAMMAR / EDITING MY ESSAY. THANK YOU

    Hi I don't know if is corrrect to post links, here so I just gonna tell you how to do it. I read your essay and most of the errors are the type that word corrects, like instead of general you should have written generally.

    If you don't have word put in google "openoffice.org" and it will take you to a site in which you can dowload totally free and permanetly a program to make essays. That program is exactly like word and it will instanly correct, grammar punctuation, and frases, fragments and many other things. Is not a magic wand but, it will help you a lot
    -----------------------------This is my verison of your essay--------------------------

    I strongly argue that physical punishment should be banned everywhere around the world. A child, who experiences physical punishment, is not only experiencing physical punishment can also be affected emotionally. I believe that the practice of hitting a child, teaches them to become hitters themselves. Spanking can be physically damaging, and adults should learn non-violent methods to discipline a child.

    I believe that hitting a child can cause violent behavior among kids or adults. I agree that physical punishment exists everywhere around the world, but the severity and kind differs from one country to another.
    My experience is a good example; in Africa, where I spent my childhood and teenager life, physical punishment is very common. In any situation, someone like an uncle, aunt, or a neighbor might discipline a child. The consequences due to physical punishment, can be severe, a child might run away from home and stay with friends or relatives. However, they may refuse to take them in. As a result, a child ends up on the street, and becomes a beggar, a thief or can cause violence to others.

    In addition, spanking a child can be physically damaging. Physical punishment is the use of physical force with the intention of causing a child to experience pain but not injury. Moreover, some adults have a bad temper, and they lose control while dealing with a child. For instance, they may use their hands, or other objects such as canes, paddles, yardsticks, and belts. For example, I witnessed a child while spanked by his father, because he got two F’s in his mid-term examination.

    As consequence, the child had to be hospitalized because the wounds on his back. Africa is a poor continent in contrast to North America, most of the African countries has no rules when it comes to physical punishment. If you are a parent, that gives you the rights to do anything to your child.

    In addition, I believe that adults should take the time to judge proper types of punishment for their children. Physical punishment may cause negative impact on a child. A good example could be an impaired parent and child relationship. It can cause fear, anger, and avoidance. For these reasons, a child might end up with stress or depression; might cause them to think about suicide.

    Most schools around the world forbid physical punishment except in the third world ‘countries, where stills being practice. I do not think that it is a good idea that teachers punish the physically the students; that may produce anxiety and by consequence can cause them to fail in school.
    Turning to physical punishment is not the answer, instead talk persuade, and try to explain your child the difference between right and wrong
    In conclusion, I think that physical punishment is wrong. Children should not be punished when they are not behaving in school or at home. However if you must use some kind punishment it should be non-violent form.
    Last edited by marayana1; 05-Oct-2009 at 02:06.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: NEED YOUR HELP GRAMMAR / EDITING MY ESSAY. THANK YOU

    Take in consideration that it might need more reviews, you jump from one subject to another without proper transition like from physical punishment at home to the punishment in schools . Most of your sentences were fragments, I fixed some of them, but could not fix others. You cannot use contractions in formal writing, no can't isn't or likes.
    2. you must offer some valid quotes or references your opinion in a subject like this is not enough. You must go to the net and find evidence of your point of view, check it all over read mine and good luck

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