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  1. #1
    cherrchiao is offline Newbie
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    Please do me a favor about my motivaton letter

    Hi, there! I am new here and I have a hard time to express myself in English. I write this letter of motivation to apply for the Master's Degree Programme of Technology Management in Netherlands. Would you like to help me correct the motivation letter?

    Additionally, I am not sure whether the letter is thin to present myself. Do I need to add some details? Could you please give me some advice about the contents?

    Thank you very much in advance!

    NB: The part labeled by red colour is the one that I do not ensure whether is right or should be deleted. The sentences before and after / are the ones I do not know which should be chosen.

    Dear Sir or Madam,

    I would like to apply for the Master’s program of Technology Management, which will be conducted during the academic year 2010-2012./I would like to take this opportunity to provide further background information in support of my application for entrance to the studies of Technology Management at the University of Groningen.

    The past three-year’s studies/studying in Yanshan University gave me a broad understanding of Industrial Engineering and helped me gain insight into this subject. I find it is really a program which could challenge and fascinate me. Improving product quality and the performance of operations by creative thinking would be intriguing to me. Libra’s nature holds my desire for never being satisfied with the status quo and constantly striving for perfection. As my major shows, I emphasize on comprehensively learning in multi-disciplinary fields. I read extensively/do a lot of extensive reading in related subjects, such as supply chain, game theory and industrial psychology, all of these enrich my mind and open my eyes. Through course exercises/Taking course exercises of Production Planning & Control, I not only mastered how to analyze and optimize process in manufacturing, but also learned how to design manual systems best. What greatly stimulates my passion is to apply mathematics and operations research method into providing optimum support for logistics process. The mainly methodological focus posed on these theories integrated my analytical skills and equipped me with the necessary framework to analyze complex problems. I enjoy the improvement process which calls upon my ability to transform fresh ideas through my imagination. Based on my calculating knowledge and strong interests, the idea to go deeper in the field of Industrial Engineering came into being.

    Last year, Prof.Dr.Ir. Jalal Ashayeri of University of Tilburg came to Yanshan University. As one of the few students attending, I went to his lecture. He demonstrated to us a lot about the advanced theories of supply chain and the state-of-the-art operations enabling tools that help business thrive, which really enlarged my horizon. What fascinated me most was the European ways of thinking, which inspired me greatly about develop a design attitude to create tailor-made solutions to the practical problem.

    What encourage me to apply for this Master's programme is not only my experiences at the university but also the opportunity to connect the academic knowledge with internship. When I went on a field trip to CHINA FIRST HEAVY INDUSTRIES, I found products and service were steadily becoming more advanced and complex not only in term of the manufacturing process, but also with respect to back-up service. The way business processes are organized is crucial concerning the company’s development and survival. In an economy where every company is cutting costs and looking for ways to turn excess “fat”/ earn a premium, technology management plays a more pivotal role in industrialization, and this is what your programme concentrates on. I enjoyed this module a lot so it is why I want to go one step further in this field.

    By the influence of the financial tsunami, industrial enterprises are facing severe scenario/problems. I fully recognize that the technological environments are constantly changing, and thus management needs to be able to adapt quickly to the new condition if the company is to successfully develop. I believe obtaining a Master’s Degree of Technology Management will provide the necessary background for me to anticipate and react to the ever-changing environment. The bankruptcy of several large companies leads us to thinking more about the reform of industrial enterprises. I think this is just the time when Technology Management and Innovation play a part. For Netherlands is a developed country with many advanced management concept and manufacturing technology, I truly believe studying in Netherlands is a great opportunity to have an in-depth understanding of management theories and acquire up-to-date information of modern technological innovation.

    Netherlands is my first choice as a foreign country for its world-renowned reputation of high academic level and favorable learning environment. But what attracted me most is University of Groningen, one of the most famous European universities. As well known for its unique academic perspectives and free and lively academic atmosphere, RUG is an ideal place to fulfill my dream, not to mention that the programme is just what I am looking for.(累赘?) It is my hope to experience new ways of learning. As for me, nothing is better than challenge. With an energetic personality, and a thirst for knowledge, I think it will be easy for me to adapt to new environment and face challenges. Besides, I will be honored if I could be a product manager someday, so studying in Groningen will qualify me better for that and make me more competitive in the future.


    Thank you for your attention. I really hope to see the beautiful tulips and taste yummy cheese./ I will be looking forward to your positive reply, and I am eager and ready to take up new challenges in Netherlands.


    Yours sincerely,

    Yu Jiao


    November 1, 2009
    Last edited by cherrchiao; 04-Oct-2009 at 13:55.

  2. #2
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Re: Please do me a favor about my motivaton letter

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