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  1. #1
    amirghh's Avatar
    amirghh is offline Newbie
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    Default plz edit my text

    I'm a correspondent. I work for maritime news agency, and I'm charge of sea trade and transportation department. So I have to mainly deal with a lot of people and I attend a lot of meetings and conferences.
    My job involves writing news and analysis them, using computers a lot of time and follow world news from internet, TV and etc.
    Sometimes, you must advocate of governments plan or strategy and another time you critic of government actions.
    Writing in sea trade and transportation domain is a job requiring a great deal of skill and I guess I am sufficiently qualified for this position because of study in maritime university and in related major. But a main problem is poorly paid of this job. I am on flexi-time. Therefore I can find part time job.
    In my country it's not easy to find work. I'd love to do writing, but it's difficult to make a living as a freelance writer. So I've applied for job in local companies. I've been offered a job in international project but this is a job requiring a grate deal of skill and I was not competent, so I turned it down.
    Now I start to study English language to get ready to IELTS exam. If you have IELTS or TOFEL degree you can find a good job easily.

  2. #2
    Ann1977 is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: plz edit my text

    I'm a correspondent. I work for maritime news agency, and I'm charge of sea trade and transportation department.
    I am presently employed as the chief correspondent of the Sea Trade and Transportation Department of the Maritime News Agency.

    So I have to mainly deal with a lot of people and I attend a lot of meetings and conferences.

    (Relocate this sentence to -after the next one- to get it into better logical order)

    My job involves writing news and analysis them, using computers a lot of time and follow world news from internet, TV and etc.
    > These items are not grouped logically.
    > You can't say both "and" and "etc."
    > but anyway, don't say "etc" at all
    I write news articles for the Agency. I also track and analyze world-wide maritime news by monitoring television and the internet, as well as material appearing in print.

    (Relocated from above)
    So I have to mainly deal with a lot of people and I attend a lot of meetings and conferences.
    > "so" does not logically follow a job that up until now has been primarily described as solitary.
    > "a lot" is a little too casual for this piece
    In addition, this work requires a great deal of interaction with other people, as well as my participation in many meetings and conferences.

    Sometimes, you must advocate of governments plan or strategy and another time you critic of government actions.
    > Don't swap the subject from "I" to "you."
    At times I advocate for the government's plans or strategies, but at other times I write articles criticizing them.

    Writing in sea trade and transportation domain is a job requiring a great deal of skill and I guess I am sufficiently qualified for this position because of study in maritime university and in related major.
    > "I guess" is a casual, conversational locution
    I am eminently qualified for this highly-skilled position, and I hold a relevant degree from the Maritime University.


    But a main problem is poorly paid of this job.
    But the problem is that this job pays relatively poorly.

    I am on flexi-time. Therefore I can find part time job.
    In my country it's not easy to find work.
    > find A part-time job
    I'm currently on flex-time, so I can have a second part-time job, but in my country it's not easy to find work.


    I'd love to do writing, but it's difficult to make a living as a freelance writer.
    (this is fine)

    So I've applied for job in local companies.
    > for WORK, not "for job"
    > "So" doesn't really fit logically here
    I've applied for work in local companies.

    I've been offered a job in international project but this is a job requiring a grate deal of skill and I was not competent, so I turned it down.

    > wrong verb tense
    > "great" not "grate"
    > ON a project
    I was offered a job on an international project, but it required more skills than I have, so I turned it down.

    Now I start to study English language to get ready to IELTS exam. If you have IELTS or TOFEL degree you can find a good job easily.
    > Get ready FOR the exam
    > if you have A degree
    > Don't switch the subject from "I" to "you"
    So now I'm studying English to prepare for the IELTS exam. An IELTS or TOFEL degree will make it easy for me to find a good job.


  3. #3
    amirghh's Avatar
    amirghh is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: plz edit my text

    Hello dear ann
    you motivate me to learn English
    thank you very much
    best wishes

  4. #4
    Ann1977 is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: plz edit my text

    Quote Originally Posted by amirghh View Post
    Hello dear ann
    you motivate me to learn English
    thank you very much

    best wishes
    You are more than welcome!

    Best wishes in your career.

    ~ Ann

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