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Thread: High School

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    High School

    Ok I Know this isn't perfect its a short essay
    October 06, 2009

    The three things I find different from middle school to high school
    is that its more different than I thought. I always thought that high school
    would be hard because my Teachers always said "high school will be
    difficult" and that always scared me.The first thing that I find different is
    that high schools are big so its harder to find places and my classes.
    Whereas in middle school its easier to find places because I have been
    there longer and its smaller than most high schools. From my Sister's
    experience she finds high school alot different than middle school,
    meeting more people everyday and being in a different environment

    tHE SECOND THING I FIND DIFFERENT IS THAT THE TEACHERS DON'T GIVE YOU ALOT OF TIME OR REMIND YOU OF A ASSINGMENT.THEY WILL JUST GIVE YOU zero OR A LOW MARK IF YOU HAND IT IN LATE. bUT IN MIDDLE SCHOOL THEY REMIND YOU AND GIVE YOU EXTRA TIME IF YOU NEED IT. iN MY MIDDLE SCHOOL THEY MADE US REDO IT TO GET A BETTER MARK. IN MIDDLE SCHOOL IF YOU DON'T DO YOUR WORK AT ALL OR DISRESPECT THE TEACHERS YOU GO TO THE OFFICE SAME AS IN HIGH SCHOOL.


    tHE LAST THING I FIND DIFFERENT IS MAKING NEW FRIENDS. ITS HARDER BECAUSE I KNOW NOBODY HERE AND AM A SHY PERSON WHEREAS IN MIDDLE SCHOOL ITS EASIER BECAUSE EVERYONE IS FRIENDLY THERE, EVERONE WANTS TO BE FRIENDS WITH DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
    ITS MUCH LESS PEOPLE TO SEE COMPARED TO HIGH SCHOOL.














    i didn't go over it so the spelling might be WRONG
    Oh and i didn't finsh


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    #2

    Re: High School

    This showed a pretty good use of English, and a dutiful (if uncreative) intention to follow the rules of "How to Write an Essay."

    On the other hand, it doesn't seem like much of an effort. It clearly was not revised, and the student didn't even bother to fix the cap lock.



    The three things I find different from middle school to high school
    is that its more different than I thought.

    > This makes no sense
    > Being different is not three things; it is one thing
    > What does "more different than I thought" even mean?
    > "it's" not "its"

    I always thought that high school would be hard because my Teachers always said "high school will be difficult" and that always scared me.
    >
    "Teachers" should not be capitalized. It is not a proper noun.
    > the quote is mispunctuated. " . . my teachers always said, "High school . . "
    > This thought is too trite to express: "I thought it was going to be hard because my teachers told me it was going to be hard."
    > Maybe you could say, "I was scared about going to high school because the teachers always warned us that it would be hard."
    > But even if you did say this, it is off-topic for this essay, and you made no effort to bring it around to the topic.
    > You just brought this in and dropped it. I guess it's supposed to serve as a little hat for the start of the essay (which is next) to prevent the start from being so bald.
    > This entire passage is a graceless introduction to the essay
    > Delete all the above
    My middle school teachers had warned me that high school would be harder than middle school, but nothing prepared me for how unlike middle school it turned out to be.

    The first thing that I find different is that high schools are big so its harder to find places and my classes.
    > "First" is not a particularly apt transition word for a non-sequence list.
    > A better principle of organization would have been from "least disconcerting" to "most strange"
    > You can make "first" work if you sequence your realizations of the differences between the two schools
    My first impression of my high school was that it was big -- much bigger than my middle school.

    Whereas in middle school its easier to find places because I have been
    there longer and its smaller than most high schools.

    > You just said this
    I felt at home in my middle school, but in high school I had a lot of trouble just finding my way around.

    From my Sister's experience she finds high school alot different than middle school, meeting more people everyday and being in a different environment
    > Delete

    tHE SECOND THING I FIND DIFFERENT IS THAT THE TEACHERS DON'T GIVE YOU ALOT OF TIME OR REMIND YOU OF A ASSINGMENT.
    > The switch to all caps is mysterious
    > "a lot" is two words
    > assignments is spelled wrong
    > "of AN assignment" -or- "of assignments"
    > Don't switch between "I" and "you"
    > "Second" is not a good transition word for a list that is not sequenced by time
    > "Another big difference..." would work
    > I already started sequencing according to your realizations, so I will stick to that
    The next big shock came when I realized that the high school teachers were not as supportive as those in my middle school. They don't give us much time to complete our assignments, and they don't check up on our progress or keep after us to finish.

    THEY WILL JUST GIVE YOU zero OR A LOW MARK IF YOU HAND IT IN LATE. bUT IN MIDDLE SCHOOL THEY REMIND YOU AND GIVE YOU EXTRA TIME IF YOU NEED IT.
    In my middle school, the teachers gave us extra time if we needed it; but in high school, if we hand out work in late they just give us bad grades.

    iN MY MIDDLE SCHOOL THEY MADE US REDO IT TO GET A BETTER MARK. IN MIDDLE SCHOOL IF YOU DON'T DO YOUR WORK AT ALL OR DISRESPECT THE TEACHERS YOU GO TO THE OFFICE SAME AS IN HIGH SCHOOL.
    > delete

    tHE LAST THING I FIND DIFFERENT IS MAKING NEW FRIENDS.
    > "Last" is a poor transition word for this list
    But the biggest difference I found when I went to high school was in my social life.

    ITS HARDER BECAUSE I KNOW NOBODY HERE AND AM A SHY PERSON WHEREAS IN MIDDLE SCHOOL ITS EASIER BECAUSE EVERYONE IS FRIENDLY THERE, EVERONE WANTS TO BE FRIENDS WITH DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
    ITS MUCH LESS PEOPLE TO SEE COMPARED TO HIGH SCHOOL.

    My middle school had fewer students, so we were more inclined to be friendly with everyone. But in high school, I'm having a hard time making new friends. I don't know anyone here, and I'm too shy to strike up conversations with strangers.

    I've already learned to find my way around, and I'm getting used to the higher expectations of the teachers. But I still wish I had a couple of friends.

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