This essay is a conscientious effort. It shows a lot of work and sincerity on the part of the writer.
Perhaps the topic is too ambitious for the present ESL abilities of the student; the English isn't particularly good. "Editing" it would end up being "re-writing" it.
As an essay, it is well organized.
As a movie review, it praises the movie for all the wrong things: The fact that it's a true story, the fact that it is inspirational, and the good musical score.
But what the readers of a movie review want to know is "How was it as a movie?" and the general feeling seems to be: "It's somewhat of a stinker."