The writing is short but expressive.
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Topic: It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.
It is said that children living in the countryside have better health and (a) better “lifestyle” than those living in towns, and that they have chance to appreciate nature with all its beauty.
For one thing, life in the countryside is healthier for children than life in the city. Breathing fresh air and drinking clean water in the countryside are proven means to bring/keep (a) good health. On the other hand, in the city, the air and water are polluted and impure, which can cause many serious diseases such as lung cancer, skin cancer and kidney cancer.
Another benefit for children who (to) live in the countryside is the safety/that it is safer. There are fewer dangerous things such as cars, trains, or uncovered electronic gadgets that may hurt them when they move/are on the road. Furthermore, children don’t have to confront with/worry about crimes because there are fewer criminals in rural areas than in urban cities/ones.
Last but not the least, living in the countryside provides many opportunities which may stimulate/incite the hidden talents in (of) children. Indeed they like drawing or painting beautiful scenery, (and) the viewing of mountains or green landscapethose can (will) give them deep inspiration. They will know how to express their feelings by drawing or painting. In fact, a lot of famous artists have descend from beautiful and peaceful villages.
Although lots of parents want to move to a big city for better jobs, children should be allowed to grow up in the countryside or villages to enjoy their dreamlike childhood with paddy fields, buffaloes, storks and kites
This writing is a bit short.
Delete words in brackets and use alternate words where ever suggested in red.