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    Smile ~Legalization of marijuana~Please revise for mistakes

    This is an analysis of legalization of marijuana.Im writing in "for".. that it should be legalized.

    In 1930, the U.S public was deceived intentionally by the government with “Reefer Madness”, a movie about the tragic events that ensue when high school students are lured by pushers to try "marijuana": a hit and run accident,manslaughter,suicide,rape, and descent into madness all ensue. The simple truth is that humans have probably been smoking marijuana since the discovery of fire, and we have been eating it since before then. Even though I have never consumed any drug or never will, but I believe that anything that alters any part of our body is technically considered a drug, so why is high fructose corn syrup,sugar,tobacco and alcohol is legal. Further more, the pharmaceutical industry, Vioxx(Rofecoxib) etc. have never faced any charges in-spite of its consumption outcome. Marijuana is now completely legal in some states but Federal law still over rules the state law. So I think if drugs are legalized, it would decrease the crime rate and it will also take away the power from the drug lords, who sell it illegally. On the contrary,people are any way going to consume drugs, whether or not they are legal

  2. #2
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    Re: ~Legalization of marijuana~Please revise for mistakes

    Quote Originally Posted by goonj View Post
    This is an analysis of legalization of marijuana.Im writing in "for".. that it should be legalized.

    In 1930, the U.S public was deceived intentionally by the government with “Reefer Madness”, a movie about the tragic events that ensue when high school students are lured by pushers to try "marijuana": a hit and run accident, manslaughter, suicide,rape, and descent into madness all ensue. The simple truth is that humans have probably been smoking marijuana since the discovery of fire, and we have been eating it since before then.
    Your argument is good up to here.

    Even though I have never consumed any drug or never will, but I believe that anything that alters any part of our body is technically considered a drug, so why is high fructose corn syrup,sugar,tobacco and alcohol is legal.
    This paragraph is very uneven, and probably irrelevant.
    You can define "drug" however you like, but if you are going to use the term to include sugar and coffee, etc, then why the protest that you've never consumed any drugs and maybe never will?

    Further more, the pharmaceutical industry, Vioxx(Rofecoxib) etc. have never faced any charges in-spite of its consumption outcome.
    The pharmaceutical industry has certainly faced many legal charges over drugs that have caused damage. The sentence is factually incorrect. Vioxx is one pharmaceutical drug out of tens of thousands, and while I don't know this specific case, the phrase "the pharmaceutical industry, Vioxx(Rofecoxib) etc." is meaningless.
    That being said, how does this apply to the legalization of marijuana?
    I think your argument here is that, since pharmaceutical drugs are legal and can harm people, marijuana should also be legalized even if it harms people. If so, you probably should make it a bit clearer.


    Marijuana is now completely legal in some states but Federal law still over-rules the state law. So I think if drugs are marijuana is legalized,
    Hang on. You are arguing for the legalization of marijuana, not "drugs", many of which are already legal according to your definition.


    it would decrease the crime rate and it will also take away the power from the drug lords, who sell it illegally.
    A good point, but I don't think drug lords make much money from marijuana.
    On the contrary, people are any way going to consume drugs marijuana, whether or not they are it is legal.

    You start your argument for legalization of marijuana very well. You then start arguing about something else, and forget about marijuana completely. To pass this essay, I would have to ask you to rewrite it and stick to the topic.

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    Smile Re: ~Legalization of marijuana~Please revise for mistakes

    Kindly check if it needs any more correction,specially the comma splices and semi colons or any other mistake.
    In 1930, the U.S public was deceived intentionally by the government with “Reefer Madness”, a movie about the tragic events that ensue when high school students are lured by pushers to try "marijuana": a hit and run accident,manslaughter,suicide,rape, and descent into madness all ensue. The simple truth is that humans have probably been smoking marijuana since the discovery of fire, and we have been eating it since before then. I believe that anything that alters any part of our body is technically considered a drug, so why is high fructose corn syrup,sugar,tobacco and alcohol is legal. Further more, even the pharmaceutical industry sells drugs like Vioxx(Rofecoxib) etc. which are legal and can harm people, implying that even marijuana should also be legalized. Marijuana is now completely legal in some states but Federal law still over rules the state law. So I think if marijuana is legalized, it would decrease the crime rate and it will also take away the power from the drug lords, who sell it illegally. On the contrary,people are any way going to consume marijuana, whether or not it is legal.

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