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Thread: help me please


    • Join Date: Nov 2009
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    #1

    Post help me please

    i am about taking ILETS exam after month and i really needs your help in improving my writing.. Otherwise i will fail and i will not graduate
    please my dearest teachers or anyone have a slight knowledge in writing academic essays.. i will be really thankful if you helped me
    thanks again..
    this is my first essay i just wrote is and i hope that you teachers can read it and see if it has errors and grammar mistakes and any other mistakes.
    (argument essay part 2 of the writing task)



    There is no doubt that using the wind power is a great idea which has many merits. Although the wind power is a good source of power it is as well has some disadvantages. In this essay, I will look at some of the arguments for and against the bad effect of the wind power and I will present my own opinion in the conclusion.

    There are many reasons why this type of power has a negative effect on people’s life. First and foremost, the wind turbines may become very dangerous to the birds specially the migratory birds. A Second weakness for the wind turbines is its large size and it is need a lot of space. The last negative point for using the wind turbines is that using it is very costly which may affect the economy states.

    On the other hand many people disagree with this view and some of the most objections are as follows. Firstly, the wind power is a safe resource for the environment which is not affecting the earth and not damaging the people’s health as the coal power does. Secondly, it is not causing any dangerous greenhouse gas emissions. One more positive point is that this power douse not produce radioactive waste. Last but not least it is a renewable energy source, which can exist in any time in the human’s life.

    In conclusion, I believe that the advantages of the wind power are outweigh the disadvantages for the reasons that I have outlined above. As I have said, the wind power is a very important thing on the human’s life. This is however a personal view and doesn’t negate the other opinion which as well has some merit.

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    #2

    Re: help me please

    Dear Asayel:

    Here are some corrections of mechanical (grammar, spelling, punctuation) errors:

    Quote Originally Posted by Asayel View Post
    I (Get in the habit of capitalizing this word. It looks highly uneducated in anything but a text message to a friend.) am about taking ILETS exam after month and i really needs your help in improving my writing.. Otherwise i will fail and i will not graduate
    please my dearest teachers or anyone have a slight knowledge in writing academic essays.. i will be really thankful if you helped me
    thanks again..
    this is my first essay i just wrote is and i hope that you teachers can read it and see if it has errors and grammar mistakes and any other mistakes.
    (argument essay part 2 of the writing task)



    There is no doubt that using
    the wind power is a great idea which has many merits. Although the wind power is a good source of power it is has some disadvantages as well. In this essay, I will look at some of the arguments for and against the bad effect of the use of wind power and I will present my own opinion in the conclusion.

    There are many reasons why this type of power has a negative effect on peopleís lives. First and foremost, the wind turbines may become very dangerous to the birds specially the migratory birds. (This does not directly affect people's lives, which is what you said you were going to talk about) A second weakness in the use of wind turbines is their large size and
    it is need for a lot of space. The last negative point regarding using the wind turbines is that using it is they are very costly which may affect the economy states.

    On the other hand, many people disagree with this view and some of the
    most objections are as follows. Firstly, the wind power is a safe resource for the environment which does not affecting the earth, nor does it damage the peopleís health as the coal power does. Secondly, it does not cause any dangerous greenhouse gas emissions. One more positive point is that this power does not produce radioactive waste. Last but not least, it is a renewable energy source.which can exist in any time in the humanís life

    In conclusion, I believe that the advantages of the wind power
    are outweigh the disadvantages for the reasons that I have outlined above. As I have said, the wind power is a very important thing on the humanís life. What does this mean? It's vague. Be specific. This is, however, a personal view and doesnít negate the other opinion which as well has some merit.
    One or two comments:

    You say that some people are in favor of wind power for these reasons:
    1) safe for the environment;
    2) no greenhouse gas emissions;
    3) no radioactive waste;
    4) renewable
    To me, reasons 2 and 3 are a subset of reason 1. They are examples of reason 1, not separate points.

    When you are writing a persuasive essay, you do want to acknowledge opposing viewpoints, but keep them out of your conclusion. The conclusion is where you make your strongest argument, so don't remind the reader of other points of view there.

    I hope this is helpful,

    Petra

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