With the advent of modern medicine, people are now living longer in the world. For example, in the country with the
longesthighest life expectancy, Japan, women have a life expectancy of for86 years on average, and men for79 years. Therefore, I agree that modern medicine helpscontributes to live longprolong life.
One of the main (things/factors)
thatwhich has increased theaverage life-span/ life expecancy) is that morean increasing number of children are living throughsurviving child birth, which is one ofdue to the great advancement and benefits of modern medicine.
(On of the main things/factors which has increased average life-span is an increased number of children surviving child birth due to the great advancement and benifts of modern medicin.)
Nowadays most babies are born in
ahospitals where there is emergency equipment and, qualified doctors and nurses to deal with anything that might go wrong.
Another (main thing/factor) is that modern medicine can prevent incurable diseases and serious illnesses, which
seemed to bewas fatal many years ago. For example, majordiseases like cholera and typhoid fever known in America and Europe are now being prevented by vaccines. SoFor this reason people can live without fear ing the attack of thoseof becoming sick with these diseases.
In addition to this, modern medicine
helps the old to live longerhas improved the health of the elderly population now than ever before. There are people up towho are 100 years or older living today old or more. But many of them have become addictive (??) to medicine and cannot live without it. They have to take medicine sall their lives. Also there are health care plans for theelderly people. They are regularly given moneyreceive retirement pension to enjoy the rest of their lives with happiness and satisfaction.
To summarize; in my personal view, modern medicine
is helping to lengthenhas improved life-expectancy of babiesnewborn, the ill and the elderly. In the coming years, we may hope tomight see an even greater increase in life expectancy thanks to the advance of medicine.
Indeed even without my corrections I was able to read and understand your text very well. You have done a good job! Why then correcting? I was not sure what you needed help with? I have corrected the grammatical errors I saw in your text. But I am not a teacher, only a student like yourself. Anyone else need to confirm my corrections. What I have added is in italics while I have put a stroke over your text where it is not needed.
Eventually, what do you mean by [eldery] becoming addictive on medicine? Do you mean addicitive medicine/drugs? Or do you mean that some elderly have become dependent on life-saving medicine?
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