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  1. #1
    serenityprayer is offline Newbie
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    Exclamation GIVE ANY HELP OR CORRECTIONS ON MY ESSAY PLEASE? ANY HELP OR CORRECTIONS AT ALL!

    In The articles “Is Graffiti an Urban Art Form?” by Steve Dolan and “Graffiti. It’s good for Blight. Or Is It Bad?” by Armand Emamdjomeh, views on graffiti as a whole, along with some ways to solve these issues are discussed. No one has a sure view on graffiti. Some feel that graffiti is disrespectful and uncivilized. Most people describe graffiti as vandalism. Other’s see graffiti as a wild, urban and deep art form that deserves respect. I feel that most graffiti is used in a negative way, yet the people who produce positive graffiti art should receive a program to benefit them.
    Graffiti is greatly used for Gang recognition within the community. Gang members tag neighborhoods so that people will recognize their gang’s turf and presence. Dolan states that “If it wasn’t for the fact that most graffiti is placed on private property without the owner’s permission, then it might be more recognized as a legitimate form of art.” I do not agree with this statement. In my neighborhood, all of the graffiti is recognized as vandalism. One day the gang bangers came and completely tagged my school. This event was a surreal message for the neighborhood. Everyone in the community gave special attention to not only their property, but the gang activity as well.
    Graffiti defaces more than just abandoned buildings. The stores, hospitals, trains, new buildings and houses are tagged in my neighborhoods. There was a new building built last month a block away from my house. Not even a solid week later, there was graffiti on it. In “Graffiti. It’s good for Blight. Or Is It Bad?” Emamdjomeh briefly discusses a known graffiti artist by the name of Free, whose “Supporters say that his art dresses up abandoned buildings and already blighted areas.” The artist Free only sprays graffiti on the abandoned buildings. As I stated, in my neighborhood the graffiti is even on newly built buildings; every neighborhood is different.
    Despite the controversy, opportunities for graffiti artists should be provided everywhere. Non- gang related graffiti artists should be given a way to accomplish their graffiti through some type of program. Some graffiti artists respect their neighborhoods enough to at least draw something beautiful. For example, a young graffiti artist in my childhood neighborhood liked to occasionally spray paint beautiful images under the neighborhood bridge. He would paint flowers, hope signs and other peaceful images. Once he was caught by police. However, they did not arrest him; once they looked at the drawing, the police men asked why he did the drawing. The boy replied “Because my school art teacher don’t let us do my type of art on projects in class.” The youngster was taking my art class in grammar school. Even though he only created positive graffiti, our art teacher grouped all graffiti as being “Gang Banger Stuff,” so he resorted to making his work on the bridge. People comparable to him, should be rewarded a way to express themselves in a productive class for graffiti. Lots of them are being arrested due to their graffiti, even when it is delivering a positive message. “But perhaps there are other ways to cooperate with graffiti artist rather than just opposing them,” Dolan says. With excellent promotion, serious dedication and proper funding, every neighborhood can have a Graffiti Arts class.
    In the end, Graffiti is a two way topic. First handedly, graffiti is mainly used by Gangs to mark their territory. Secondly, Graffiti is not only placed on abandoned buildings, but newly built buildings. Thirdly, despite the controversy of this topic, some graffiti artists do desire to use graffiti for positive reasons. These artist should be rewarded with a program to aide their desires. As for the gang related graffiti artist, they should be arrested. Both Dolan’s article and Emamdjomeh’s article cover excellent view and perfect examples of the confused feelings towards graffiti.


















  2. #2
    Lady Hawk is offline Member
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    Re: GIVE ANY HELP OR CORRECTIONS ON MY ESSAY PLEASE? ANY HELP OR CORRECTIONS AT ALL!

    I don't think this is the place for you to get your essay proofread, especially as a native speaker. I would suggest you hire a proofreader for editing and revising. If you need help in this area, I can assist you.

  3. #3
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    Re: GIVE ANY HELP OR CORRECTIONS ON MY ESSAY PLEASE? ANY HELP OR CORRECTIONS AT ALL!

    [QUOTE=serenityprayer;542978]In The articles “Is Graffiti an Urban Art Form?” by Steve Dolan and “Graffiti. It’s good for Blight. Or Is It Bad?” by Armand Emamdjomeh, views on graffiti as a whole, along with some ways to solve these issues are discussed. No one has a sure view on graffiti. Some feel that graffiti is disrespectful and uncivilized. Most people describe graffiti as vandalism. Other’s see graffiti as a wild, urban and deep art form that deserves respect. I feel that most graffiti is used in a negative way, yet the people who produce positive graffiti art should receive a program to benefit them.
    Graffiti is greatly used for Gang recognition within the community. Gang members tag neighborhoods so that people will recognize their gang’s turf and presence. Dolan states that “If it wasn’t for the fact that most graffiti is placed on private property without the owner’s permission, then it might be more recognized as a legitimate form of art.” I do not agree with this statement. In my neighborhood, all of the graffiti is recognized as vandalism. One day the gang bangers came and completely tagged my school. This event was a surreal message for the neighborhood. Everyone in the community gave special attention to not only their property, but the gang activity as well.
    Graffiti defaces more than just abandoned buildings. The stores, hospitals, trains, new buildings and houses are tagged in my neighborhoods. There was a new building built last month a block away from my house. Not even a solid week later, there was graffiti on it. In “Graffiti. It’s good for Blight. Or Is It Bad?” Emamdjomeh briefly discusses a known graffiti artist by the name of Free, whose “Supporters say that his art dresses up abandoned buildings and already blighted areas.” The artist Free only sprays graffiti on the abandoned buildings. As I stated, in my neighborhood the graffiti is even on newly built buildings; every neighborhood is different.
    Despite the controversy, opportunities for graffiti artists should be provided everywhere. Non- gang related graffiti artists should be given a way to accomplish their graffiti through some type of program. Some graffiti artists respect their neighborhoods enough to at least draw something beautiful. For example, a young graffiti artist in my childhood neighborhood liked to occasionally spray paint beautiful images under the neighborhood bridge. He would paint flowers, hope signs and other peaceful images. Once he was caught by police. However, they did not arrest him; once they looked at the drawing, the police men asked why he did the drawing. The boy replied “Because my school art teacher don’t let us do my type of art on projects in class.” The youngster was taking my art class in grammar school. Even though he only created positive graffiti, our art teacher grouped all graffiti as being “Gang Banger Stuff,” so he resorted to making his work on the bridge. People comparable to him, should be rewarded a way to express themselves in a productive class for graffiti. Lots of them are being arrested due to their graffiti, even when it is delivering a positive message. “But perhaps there are other ways to cooperate with graffiti artist rather than just opposing them,” Dolan says. With excellent promotion, serious dedication and proper funding, every neighborhood can have a Graffiti Arts class.
    In the end, Graffiti is a two way topic. First handedly, graffiti is mainly used by Gangs to mark their territory. Secondly, Graffiti is not only placed on abandoned buildings, but newly built buildings. Thirdly, despite the controversy of this topic, some graffiti artists do desire to use graffiti for positive reasons. These artist should be rewarded with a program to aide their desires. As for the gang related graffiti artist, they should be arrested. Both Dolan’s article and Emamdjomeh’s article cover excellent view and perfect examples of the confused feelings towards graffiti.

    Hi!

    I'm not a teacher and not a native speaker.

    1. Everyone in the community gave special attention to not only their property, but the gang activity as well.
    I wonder why the preposition to is placed before not only, not after it: not only to their property.

    2. The artist Free only sprays graffiti on the abandoned buildings.
    I'm a bit confused: does he only spray graffiti and not paint it with a brush or does he only spray graffiti on the abandon buildings and not on the occupied ones?

    3. For example, a young graffiti artist in my childhood neighborhood liked to occasionally spray paint beautiful images under the neighborhood bridge.
    I've understood that the phrase "...liked to occasionally spray paint beautiful images..." has got a split infinitive "to occasionally spray-paint" where "to spray-paint" is a sort of neological infinitive which is followed by an object (here: "beautiful images").

    4.The youngster was taking my art class in grammar school.
    My impression is that you were an art teacher who taught the youngster, but I'm not quite sure.

    5. In the end, Graffiti is a two way topic. First handedly, graffiti is mainly used by Gangs to mark their territory. Secondly, Graffiti is not only placed on abandoned buildings, but newly built buildings. Thirdly, despite the controversy of this topic, some graffiti artists do desire to use graffiti for positive reasons.
    You say that Graffiti is a two way topic so the following sentences beginnig with "First...", "Secondly...", "Thirdly..." are in stark contradiction with "a two way topic".

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