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  1. #1
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    Could you correct my mistakes Please

    I need some professional one correct me in below essay.

    Government should aid poor countries

    Some people consider that rich countries should aid other countries to help them to rise up. Increasingly, however, many people believe that each country should help itself to learn how to win against every difficult which faces it. This essay will describe some of the arguments for and against rich country's aid to poor country.
    On the one hand, aid of rich countries to poor countries causes some advantageous on individual and over the world. One of the main advantageous of aid is to secure rich countries security. For example Saudi Arabia always supports some poor countries especially the nearest countries such as Yemen. This aid can keep Yemen national security safe and consequently Saudi national security will be safe. Secondly, Some countries cannot find convenience support for healthy problems to reduce a risk of spreading a new disease through living things or mammals. Some nations think that aid suppose participate to reduce some dangerous diseases such as swine flu, AIDS.
    However the features of aid can also be profusion. Firstly, some countries need to improve themselves before they improve other countries. In the past Saudi Arabia was spending massive amounts to improve poor countries although it needs to improve its infrastructures. Some countries abuse poor countries when they aim to have some allies to help them when they need. Kuwait has aided other countries and they helped it when it was in trouble situation. A third approach is to colonize poor countries. Some countries such as USA sometimes funds poor countries to ensure that poor countries follow their foreign policies.
    In conclusion, as we have seen previously people have different opinions and views about rich countries aid to poor countries. I can understand way people may not see things by the some way. Personally I am convinced to believe that aid is beneficial because it should be funded to whom it may concern eventhough it was internal needing.

  2. #2
    greenisgood is offline Junior Member
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    Re: Could you correct my mistakes Please

    Quote Originally Posted by Legend_1st View Post
    I need some professional one correct me in below essay.

    Government should aid poor countries

    Some people consider believe (or of the opinion) that rich countries should aid the advancement of other poor countries to help them to rise up. Increasingly, however, many people also believe that each country should help itself to and learn how to win against every difficulty which it faces it. This essay will describes some of the arguments for and against a rich country's aid to a poor country.

    On the one hand, aid of from rich countries to poor countries causes some has advantageous advantages on individual and over the both at a mutual level and to the world at large. One of the main advantageous advantages of to a rich country offering aid is to secure rich countries protecting its own national security. For example, Saudi Arabia always supports some a few near by poor countries, especially the nearest countries such as Yemen. This Such aid can keep strengthens Yemen national security safe and consequently thus also stabilizes Saudi national security will be safe. Secondly, Some some of the poor countries cannot find convenience quick support for addressing healthy problems like to reduce a reducing the risk of spreading a new disease through living things or mammals beings. Some nations think that aid suppose participate to believe that with aid, poor countries can help reduce in stopping the spread of some a few dangerous diseases such as swine flu, and AIDS.

    However the features of aid can also be profusion. On the other hand, some rich countries misuse aid to serve their own interests. Firstly, some the offering countries need to improve themselves before they improve other countries. In the past Saudi Arabia was spending massive amounts to improve poor countries although it needs has yet to improve its own infrastructures. Secondly, Some some countries abuse poor countries when they aim to have some allies to help them when they need in the process of forming allies. Kuwait has aided other countries and they helped it when it was in trouble situation. (give a relevant example where a poor country got abused). A third approach is to colonize poor countries. Some countries such as USA sometimes funds fund poor countries to ensure that poor countries follow their foreign policies.

    In conclusion, as we have seen previously people have different opinions and views about rich countries offering aid to poor countries. I can understand way why people may not see things by the some the same way. Personally I am convinced to believe that aid is beneficial because it should be funded to whom it may concern eventhough it was internal needing whoever needs it, even if it serves a self serving need.
    Note I am not an expert.

  3. #3
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    Re: Could you correct my mistakes Please

    Thanks a lot. I'm thinking of checking the mistakes first and I'll probably ask you again.

  4. #4
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    RonBee is offline Moderator
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    Haves vs Have-nots

    Try:
    .
    Some people think....
    .
    (Why do they think what they think? What is the basis for their opinions?)



  5. #5
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    Re: Could you correct my mistakes Please

    Firstly, I really thankful
    Could you show me where my grammatical error is?


    Secondly, can I start the introduction of the opinion essay (argument) essay with below sentence:

    There is a tendency for some people to believe that....... .

    Or I should use the simple sentences

    Finally, I usually find some difficulties win I start the main body. How may I write the topic sentence of the main body?

  6. #6
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    Re: Could you correct my mistakes Please

    There is more than one error.

    Why say "There is a tendency for some people to believe that...." when you can simply say "Some people believe that...."?

    Simpler is usually better.

    Don't forget that there are always disadvantages as well as advantages. Set them off against each other.


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