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  1. #1
    fatma1991 is offline Newbie
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    Default Can anyone please correct my essay :)

    Divorcing is when couples get married and legally breakup of marriage. In fact, most couples get divorced if they had an disagreement with each other, financial problems and betraying one another. Unfortunately, UAE is in a serious problem with divorcing and it causing a big effect to the UAE social society. The Divorcing rate in the UAE is 46% and it is a very huge amount. The UAE society should be worried and concerned that the divorcing rate in the UAE is increasing every year. In addition the divorce rate in the UAE is the highest rate among the gulf countries. The government and the UAE society should do something because it will effect the future generation. However, there are many causes and effects of divorcing in the UAE society.
    Many causes lead to divorcing in UAE society; however, I think the main cause in our society is women getting married at a young age. In the UAE girls used to get married at a young age however, girls before since childhood is taught being responsible and helping adults because they werenít allowed to be educated which meant they were ready to get married and take their marriage and husband responsibility independently. As the UAE is changing and the UAE traditions beginning to decay, nowadays girls at a young age are more dependent to their parent and concentrated to their education instead of getting married. Secondly, one of the causes that sometimes the parent force the girl to get married which makes the girl unhappy and is more likely to lead to an unsuccessful marriage. Couples sometimes get into a big argument that they find difficulty in solving the so, they end up with a decision to get divorced without thinking.
    As I can see the massive amount of divorce rate in the UAE, but did the couples ever thought deeply about the effect that may occur to their children and the UAE society? More often children that their parent are separated are effected emotionally, socially and personally problems. The children may acts strangely because the child may feel odd that he only lives with one of their parent. Women that get divorced at a young age are less likely to re-marry because most men they donít accept women that were married, when this happens the women will start to get depressed and she may do unsuitable behavior to fly away her depression. Same to the man who is divorced at a young age he will be less likely to get married again because most women they donít agree to get married to a man who got divorced sadly, the man will start to take drugs and smoke and will give up in his life.
    The solution is here that their parent should be aware that their daughter not to get married at a young age until they feel she is mature enough to take responsibility and cope with family issues. The most vital thing that the parent should not force their daughter to get married and must take her opinion about getting married. In my opinion I think if the couples having a big argument they should calm down and think carefully how to solve their argument, if they couldnít find the solution I advise them to go to a marriage councilor to help them to solve the problem.
    To sum up I think the UAE must start to do something about it to make sure the future generation are living in a safe environment. The couples must be aware that divorcing is not always the best solution to improve their life, it may be the worst solution.
    Thank you

  2. #2
    hispanic911 is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Can anyone please correct my essay :)

    • Too much facts
    • Stop using (I)
    • First explain what is UAE
    • Your conclusion needs more meat... it's not finished
    • start your paragraphs with a topic sentence then three details
    • Where is your thesis at the end of the first paragraph.
    • where are your three supporting paragraphs for your thesis??
    • don't say your opinion, instead explain it with a real life example
    • And don't use too much transition words

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