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  1. #1
    Suffering people is offline Newbie
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    Default A request for help in making these sentences correct

    I have just started to translate following text in English. So far I have translated first paragraph and I don't know whether these sentences are written correctly. I would be grateful if someone could correct all the mistakes that appeard in this text :

    Everything was lasting in its existence full of great harmony. Falling streams of light were getting over the green, thick, trees’ fur, which in turn matched by setting their own hands, proper light for infant companions, creating not only the circumstance for proper growing up but also in order to dispose them well for further existing. Through the center of the wide meadow, firmly with a glowing feeling, there’s flowing a rivulet that divided the whole field for two ragged parts, surrounded by the tall trees. Landscape was filled with greatness by the great blue.
    Last edited by Suffering people; 02-Jan-2010 at 14:18.

  2. #2
    Raymott's Avatar
    Raymott is offline VIP Member
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    Default Re: A request for help in making these sentences correct

    Quote Originally Posted by Suffering people View Post
    I have just started to translate following text in English. So far I have translated first paragraph and I don't know whether these sentences are written correctly. I would be grateful if someone could correct all the mistakes that appeard in this text :

    Everything was lasting in its existence full of great harmony. Falling streams of light were getting over the green, thick, trees’ fur, which in turn matched by setting their own hands, proper light for infant companions, creating not only the circumstance for proper growing up but also in order to dispose them well for further existing. Through the center of the wide meadow, firmly with a glowing feeling, there’s flowing a rivulet that divided the whole field for two ragged parts, surrounded by the tall trees. Landscape was filled with greatness by the great blue.
    I think this would be an impossible task. You are attempting to write in a literary style, so it's not possible to say whether your strange phrases and word choices are deliberate or not.
    Take the first sentence for example. It can't be fixed because changing it would destroy it. No doubt it means something like "Everything was existing in harmony", but that correction doesn't do justice to your style.

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