[Essay] A letter of advice

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Etern1ty

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Joined
Oct 22, 2009
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Russian
Home Country
Russian Federation
Current Location
Russian Federation
Could you check my letter for grammatical mistakes and informal style, please?) :roll:
Here it is:

Your penfriend has recently written to you saying that he/she is very unhappy with school and home life. You have decided to write a letter of advice, offering your support. Write your letter, making various suggestions and saying what result you expect if he/she follows your advice.
Dear Kate,
Thank you for the last letter. I’m sorry to hear that you have problems with your school and home life. I thought I must write back straight away and give you some advice.
First of all, you said that you’re very unhappy with school. Why don’t you try to improve your relationship with schoolmates. By doing this, you can rely on their help in difficult situations.
Another suggestion is to change the school. That way, at least you will change the circumstances and find new friends. Also the new teachers might be better than previous.
You said that you’re unhappy with your home life. If I were you I would speak with your parents about it. If you do this, at least you’ll raise the question. You might try to figure out the problem together, and decide what to do next.
I hope that these ideas will help. No pain - no gain, so anyway you must make an effort. By all means write back and let me know how you get on.

Thanks in advance
 

1984law

Member
Joined
Aug 16, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
Greek
Home Country
Greece
Current Location
Greece
Could you check my letter for grammatical mistakes and informal style, please?) :roll:
Here it is:

Your penfriend has recently written to you saying that he/she is very unhappy with school and home life. You have decided to write a letter of advice, offering your support. Write your letter, making various suggestions and saying what result you expect if he/she follows your advice.
Dear Kate,
Thank you for your latest letter. I’m sorry to hear that you have problems at school and at home .(one doesn't write it like this) I thought I should write back straight away and give you some advice.
First of all, you said that you’re very unhappy with school. Why don’t you try to improve your relationship with your schoolmates? By doing this, you can rely on their help in difficult situations.
Another suggestion is for you to change school. That way, at least you will change the circumstances and find new friends. Also the new teachers might be better than the previous.
You said that you’re unhappy with your home life. If I were you I would speak with my parents about it. If you do this, at least you’ll address it as an issue. You might try to figure out what the problem is, together, and decide what to do next.
I hope that my suggestions will help. No pain - no gain, so anyway you must make an effort. By all means write back and let me know how you get on.

Kind regards / lots of love (in an informal letter you don't write thank you in advance)

Hope I have been helpful
 
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