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  1. #1
    Tan Elaine is offline Key Member
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    editing of short passage

    Hi guys

    Could some member/s edit the following short passage for me. Thanks in advance.

    A boy was jaywalking when he was almost knocked down by a car. Fortunately, the driver managed to brake in time and so prevented an accident,

    “Hey, little boy, you should be careful when crossing the road,” the driver advised him..

    “I’m sorry,” he responded. “I did not see your car approaching.”

    “You shouldn’t jaywalk. You are endangering your life. Are you aware that your act could have caused another vehicle to crash into mi
    ne?”

    “I won’t play on the road again. Now I realise how dangerous jaywalking is.”

    The driver continued on his journey, happy that the boy had learnt a lesson.
    Last edited by Tan Elaine; 09-Jan-2010 at 02:23.

  2. #2
    MrPedantic is offline Moderator
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    Re: editing of short passage

    Hello Elaine,

    I don't see any major problems there. Check your pronunciation, though!

    All the best,

    MrP
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  3. #3
    Tan Elaine is offline Key Member
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    Re: editing of short passage

    Hello, MrPedantic

    Many thanks. It's nice hearing from you, as I have not heard from you for ages.

    And thanks for letting know the passage is free of errors except there is a problem with pronunciation. I believe you wanted to write 'punctuation'. I have spotted two punctuation errors and replace them with the correct punctuation marks. I hope there is none left.

    With warmest wishes

    Elaine
    Last edited by Tan Elaine; 09-Jan-2010 at 02:25.

  4. #4
    MrPedantic is offline Moderator
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    Re: editing of short passage

    Quote Originally Posted by Tan Elaine View Post
    I believe you wanted to write 'punctuation'.
    Exactly right! I don't know how "pronunciation" crept in...

    But the punctuation is now fine, except after "accident" and "advised him".

    Have a very good Sunday!

    All the best,

    MrP
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  5. #5
    Tan Elaine is offline Key Member
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    Re: editing of short passage

    Quote Originally Posted by MrPedantic View Post
    Exactly right! I don't know how "pronunciation" crept in...

    But the punctuation is now fine, except after "accident" and "advised him".

    Have a very good Sunday!

    All the best,

    MrP
    Hello, Mr Pedantic

    I'm really very careless. I thought everything was fine and yet it is not.

    Many thanks, indeed.

    And have a very good Sunday too.

    Best regards

    Elaine

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