[Essay] Someone please check my work?

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jshao0301

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In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move out of large cities and into regional areas. Do you think advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, human society are getting increasingly developed than ever. Many large cities are no longer able to hold so many businesses and population. Therefore, moving things into regional areas out of cities would be an efficient measure. However, there are arguments about the management decision made by some of the governments. Some people support the way to deal with this issue while many others argue againest that. In my own perspective, I am in favour of the former point of view.

There is no doubt that encouraging industries and businesses to move out of large cities and into regional areas has a number of advantages. To begin with, the price of land is much cheaper in regional areas than big cities. since many big cities are getting more and more crowded, the amount of money for land rental is increasingly higher. In addition, moving into reginal areas can do good to the regional emplyment. Since people live in regional areas can hardly get jobs available in the cities, the emplyment rate could be low. Therefore, moving businesses into reginal areas is a good news for them.

On the other hand, it is worth pointing out there are also arguments supporting the opinion that moving businesses into regional areas is a bad decision. The fundamental reason for this is that the reason why industries chose cities at first is because big cities usually have good transportation conditions. They own good airport, harbours and freeways which allows efficient products delivery. Having said this, however, an apparent problem with this opinion is countris are all developing quickly, nothing will take long to achieve. Thus, we should not overlook the fact that transportation is getting improved at all times.

On the basis of above discussion, I would concede that trasferring industries and businesses into regional areas may reduce the delivery efficience for a short period. Despite that, I think advantages of this development outweight the disadvantages in terms of the price of invest on the land and emplyment. Overall, I would conclude that the government should take actions ahead.
 
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In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move from large cities into regional areas. Do you think theadvantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, human society isgetting increasingly developed than ever. Many large cities are no longer able to hold such a big number ofbusinesses and population. Therefore, moving things into regional areas would be an efficient measure. However, there are somearguments for and against the management decision made by some governments. Some people support the way of dealingwith this issue while many others argue against it. In my opinion, I am in favour of the former point of view.

There is no doubt that encouraging industries and businesses to move from large cities into regional areas has a number of advantages. To begin with, the price of land is much cheaper in regional areas than inbig cities. Since many big cities are getting more and more crowded, the land rental is increasingly higher(rental is the amount of money that you pay to use something, so it's not necessary to put "money" in front of "rental". In addition, moving into reginal areas can have a good influence on (no article needed because you refer to regional employment in general) regional employment.(If you say Since people live in regional areas, it means that all people live there) People who live in regional areas can hardly get jobs (you don't need available, it's alluded) in the cities, since the emplyment rate could be low. Therefore, moving businesses into reginal areas is a good news.

On the other hand, it is worth pointing out there are also arguments supporting the opinion that moving businesses into regional areas is a bad decision. I would paraphrase this sentence so that it sounds more naturally. There are 2 options. 1. On the other hand, there are arguments indicating that moving businesses into regional areas is a bad decision. 2. On the other hand, there are arguments against moving businesses into regional areas. The fundamental reason for this is that the reason why industries chose cities at first is because big cities usually have good transportation conditions. This sentence is also ambiguous and very confusing. Try this one: Better transporting conditions would be the main reason for industrialization of the cities rather than regional areas.They own good airports, harbours and freeways which allows (allow instead of allows) efficient products delivery. Having said this, however, an apparent problem with this opinion is countris are all developing quickly, nothing will take long to achieve. I suggest saying this way: The apparent problem, as far as this opinion is concerned, is the fact that countries are developing so fast that it does not take much time to achieve anything.Thus, we should not overlook the fact that transportation is getting improved all the time.

On the basis of above mentioned arguments, I would concede that locating industries and businesses into regional areas may reduce the delivery efficience for a short period. Despite that, I think the advantages of this kind of development outweight the disadvantages in terms of the price of land and employment investment. Overall, I would conclude that the government should take the actions ahead.
 
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