This is my new essay, pls help to check it. Thanks.
Topic: Should money be spent on space exploration?
Man history witnessed many great discoveries such as New World -American Continent found out by Christopher Colombo, Hawaii Islands explored by James Cook. All those discoveries have brought uncountable benefits to human. Therefore, I believe that Space exploring is worth paying money for because of its own practical usefulness as my following explains.
First, studying space helps we understand more about universe the “big family” which includes our planet. It is the same to the fact that one is living in an apartment, he should study all building obligations, knows neighbors, and any responsibility or interest. Similarly, human should discover the universe to get its rule, to know neighbor planets, and if those can do affect to ours. For example, there is a meteorite going to run into the earth, if we can forecast that risk we can estimate how much damage it will cause and how to minimize the loss.
Last, we all know that there are a lot of unfavorable changes which are going on in earth such as increasing temperature all over the world, more melting glaciers than ever and many natural disasters like hurricanes, tsunamis which all are daily threatening human existence. What will we do if earth will be no longer a place to live in next one or two centuries? Thus, space exploring seems to be a good solution to figure out another planet that human can survive on it. That is a long term plan which is worth investing to.
From all above reasons, discovering space is apparently a huge beneficial project that human should pay not only money but also more attention on.
I come from Vietnam too,
I find your essay is good although I'm a student like you.
_studying space helps we (---> us) understand
_ pay not only money but also more attention on.
pay attention to: attend to sb/ sth
I think it deserves good score ^^