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  1. #1
    Celie Guest

    Default need to have my CV and cover letter proof-read

    Hello,
    I need to have my CV and cover letter proof-read by a native english speaker or someone who's bilingue.
    I want to have an intership in Australia in the area of Socially Responsible Investment (SRI).
    Thank you for your help
    Célie

    CV :

    Personal profile:
    An enthusiastic and serious undergraduate specialized in international finance, with excellent interpersonal, organisational and analytical skills. Keen to progress and learn about different cultures. Self-confident and able to work as a team member or under own intiative, capacity for sales and marketing, comfortable in all customer contact situations, and strong oral and written ocmmunication skills.
    Education :
    2004 - 2005 :
    Second Year at the Institute of Political Sciences of Toulouse, “Sciences Po”, a selective school wich awards a five-year degree : the “Diplome de l’Institut d’Etudes Politiques de Toulouse”. Sciences Po's conception of higher education is to build a structure of technical competence on a multidisciplinary foundation of broad understanding and analytic skills.
    •General courses on law, economy, political science, and languages.
    •Special field of study : international Finance, economics
    2003 – 2004 :
    Admission in first year at the Institute of Political Sciences of Toulouse
    2002 – 2003 :
    French Baccalauréat (secondary education leaving certificate) in Economics (with highest honours). Main subjects : economics, mathematics, languages; other subjects : history, geography, philosophy.
    Work experience
    Since 2003 :
    Worked regularly in an estate angency next to Toulouse :
    •Reception of customers, assist them to establish their expectancies in property and advise them on how to invest in the best product
    •Accounting
    •Advertisments writing, management of the internet website, relationships with partnairs of the firm : notaries, bankers, asbestos consultants…
    SkillsIT skills : computer literate, strong MS Excel and MS Word experience
    Languages skills :
    French (mother tongue) ; English (high standard) ; German (read and written).
    Preparation of the TOEFL
    Interests Involvment in charity : school support for children having difficulties in their scholarship
    Humanitarian travel in Burkina Faso in 2002 : organisation of collection in aid of schools and hospitals, organisation of the trip
    Involvement in a civic association : organized campaign on HIV/AIDS and poverty issues

    Cover letter :

    Dear Ms W,
    I am currently an undergraduate in the Institute of Political Sciences of Toulouse (France), majoring in economics and international finance. As a part of my academic program, I am required to complete an internship of eight or ten months (between september 2005 and august 2006), consisting in having an unpaid training period which will allow me to use the skills I am developing in my coursework.
    Highly interested by the ethical finance, and very informed about this topic (conferences, lectures about SRI, reading of the financial press and surveys of SRI in Europe, North America, and Australia), I would like to do this internship with Challenger Financial Services Group.
    The concept, practice and growth of ethically, socially and environmentally responsible investing is a very attractive area. This approach to investing that considers both the profit potential and the investment's impact on society and the environment is ideal for me, because my multidisciplinary education allows me to have a global approach of society and investing, and my specialisation in economics and finance allows me to consider the framework of traditional investment or financial analysis too. Moreover, the Challenger Socially Responsive Investment Fund is all the more interesting as it uses both negative and positive screens to discern the SRI credentials of Australian compagnies.
    Thanks to my involvement in charities or civic association, I use to work collegially with internal and external partners, and I have good publics speaking skills, and an ability to speak to a variety of audiences. My high degree of self motivation, innovation, problem-solving and decision making capabilities, as well as my experience in an estate agency, make me the ideal person to assist investors to establish their financial goals and their “ethical profile”, and assist them to invest in managed funds that suit both ethical profile and financial goals.
    My interest and aknowledes in economics and finance, combined with my highly interest for social and environnmental issues, have convinced me that ethical financial adviser is a career option I would like to explore, and an internship with Challenger Financial Services Group would be mutually beneficial. Your company has an excellent Socially responsive investment fund, and I know that the combination of my financial skills, my multidisciplinary education, my european approach of SRI and my motivation to excel in this area, will make me an asset to your ethical financial advisers.
    I am sure that it would be worthwhile for us to have a phone interview. I will contact you within a week to arrange a phone interview. Should you have any questions before that time, you may reach me via phone : ..........; or via email : ......
    Thank you for your time and consideration
    Sincerely,

  2. #2
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: need to have my CV and cover letter proof-read

    I'll start:
    Profile- ocmmunication- communication
    Education- a selective school wich- which
    Work experience- estate angency next to Toulouse - should be 'agency'. I don't like next to Toulouse; use something like 'outside' or 'near'
    Reception of customers, assist them to establish their expectancies in property - Receiving clients, helping them find properties that met their requirements
    Advertisments writing- Writing advertisements
    partnairs- partners
    Languages skills- Language skills or Languages spoken or simply Languages

    or children having difficulties in their scholarship- Do you mean children with special learning needs?

  3. #3
    Celie Guest

    Default Re: need to have my CV and cover letter proof-read

    Quote Originally Posted by tdol
    I'll start:
    Profile- ocmmunication- communication
    Education- a selective school wich- which
    Work experience- estate angency next to Toulouse - should be 'agency'. I don't like next to Toulouse; use something like 'outside' or 'near'
    Reception of customers, assist them to establish their expectancies in property - Receiving clients, helping them find properties that met their requirements
    Advertisments writing- Writing advertisements
    partnairs- partners
    Languages skills- Language skills or Languages spoken or simply Languages

    or children having difficulties in their scholarship- Do you mean children with special learning needs?
    Hello,
    Thank you for your reply, it's really usefull for me.
    For "children having difficulties in their scholarship", I mean children who're failing in their scolarship : may I have to put instead "children with special learning needs"?
    Thank you again
    Cécile

  4. #4
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: need to have my CV and cover letter proof-read

    I don't lnow what you mean by 'scholarhip'- in English, it's a grant of money to aid studies. Do you mean 'schoolwork'?

  5. #5
    Celie Guest

    Default Re: need to have my CV and cover letter proof-read

    Quote Originally Posted by tdol
    I don't lnow what you mean by 'scholarhip'- in English, it's a grant of money to aid studies. Do you mean 'schoolwork'?
    Yes, I meant "schoolwork", I have put this word instead of "scholarship".
    Thank you for your help
    Célie

  6. #6
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: need to have my CV and cover letter proof-read

    Letter:

    (between september 2005 and august 2006)- capitalise months
    consisting in having an unpaid training period- consisting of an unpaid...
    Highly interested by the ethical finance- in ethical finance
    global approach of society- approach to
    Australian compagnies.- companies
    civic association- associations
    I use to work- I am used to working
    good publics speaking skills- public
    assist investors to establish
    aknowledes- knowledge (?)
    highly interest- great interest (it must be an adjective here)
    my european approach of SRI- European appraoch to
    excel in this area,- delete comma

  7. #7
    Celie Guest

    Default Re: need to have my CV and cover letter proof-read

    Quote Originally Posted by tdol
    Letter:

    (between september 2005 and august 2006)- capitalise months
    consisting in having an unpaid training period- consisting of an unpaid...
    Highly interested by the ethical finance- in ethical finance
    global approach of society- approach to
    Australian compagnies.- companies
    civic association- associations
    I use to work- I am used to working
    good publics speaking skills- public
    assist investors to establish
    aknowledes- knowledge (?)
    highly interest- great interest (it must be an adjective here)
    my european approach of SRI- European appraoch to
    excel in this area,- delete comma
    Thank you very much for your help. It was really useful.
    Célie

  8. #8
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: need to have my CV and cover letter proof-read

    You're welcome.

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